Hello everyone:
Welcome to the 100% funny collection to make you (high) laugh all day!
went to the school to deliver food, but was recognized by the junior who was taking a graduation photo. He was very kind to introduce me to his classmates. A mouthful of seniors, called that a cheer. So everyone coaxed me to take graduation photos with them, and I was arranged to sit in the C seat with the principal, who listened to my classmates call me senior, so he asked me which class of students I was?
I said humbly: "I didn't graduate from your college, I didn't even go to high school, and I am a middle school alumnus with that junior!" ”
invited the goddess to eat, and offered the goddess a piece of meat, but I didn't see it clearly, but it was a piece of ginger. I was so embarrassed, but the goddess said: "I really should give Jiang the best imitation award, put the meat like meat, put the fish like fish, put the chicken like chicken ......."It's okay to be steamed, but you can't tell the difference between the braised ones! ”
I took my son downstairs to the porridge shop for breakfast, and I was very familiar with the proprietress of the porridge shop.
Me: "Boss, the boss lady is early." ”
Boss: "Sister, you're early." ”
The son ran to the boss and said, "Brother, I really envy you, your mother is so young and beautiful!" ”
I hurriedly said, "Son, what are you talking about?" “
Son: "The boss calls you eldest sister, and I call her my son's eldest brother, isn't it?" ”
Passing by a person's house, I saw that the door was drying all the best wild vegetables, I saw that there was no one, and I was ready to take a convenient bag to decorate!
The master suddenly said in the corner, "What are you doing?" ”
I was in a hurry: "Is this vegetable sold, how much is a catty?" ”
Host: "Take whatever you want, don't pay for it!" ”
Me: "What's going on?" ”
Owner: "It's all for pigs, why are you embarrassed to ask for money!" ”
After the college entrance examination, knowing that the test was not good, he told his father truthfully that the test results were not satisfactory, and his father said helplessly: "If it doesn't work, just repeat it." ”
At this time, the grandfather who was sitting on the side said angrily: "If you can't pass the test, you can't pass the test, take poison (repeat), what kind of poison to take!" It's really unproductive! ”
Me: "Dr. Lu, I would like to consult about something. ”
Dr. Lu: "Please! ”
Me: "Two days ago, my dad went to your hospital for a check-up, and when he came back, he said that you told him that the reason for his illness was that he was wearing too high shorts...... shortsWhat does this mean? ”
Dr. Luk: "I'm talking about high cholesterol. ”
Working in a supermarket, a newcomer came two days ago, this aunt didn't know much, and there happened to be a guy who didn't find anything to buy, so he asked her: "Do you have mustard here?" ”
The aunt looked at him first and ignored him.
Later, the guy asked again.
As a result, the aunt was angry and said loudly: "I don't have loneliness here, I just have sorrow..."”
I almost didn't laugh to death...
I bought watermelon in the supermarket in the community, asked the boss to cut it into pieces, asked my son to carry it, and when I went back, I met my neighbor Uncle Wang, I asked my son to get a piece of watermelon for the neighbor, but the son didn't take it out for a long time, and it was about to arrive: "Tell you to take a piece of watermelon to Uncle Wang!" ”
Son: "I haven't found the youngest yet." ”
I ......Embarrassing at the time!
Uncle changed a ringtone, it was a girl's voice, and the content was: Don't, don't pick up ** or something.
One day my uncle was busy, and my grandmother called him **, but he didn't answer, and when my uncle came back, my grandmother asked: "Who is that woman in the phone, why don't you pick it up!"
The uncle was stunned for a moment, and then explained, "Mom, that's a ringtone." ”
Grandma has a big mouth: "Which girl is CRBT, you are a person with a daughter-in-law!" ”
It made me laugh at the time!
I went to eat buffet with my boyfriend, I ate a little too much, my stomach was bulging, I met my boyfriend's parents on the way, I thought, joked with my future in-laws, and touched my bulging belly in front of the two of them.
Unexpectedly, my boyfriend's mother looked at it and said, "Girl, are you fat again?" It's time to lose **, if you get fat, my family won't be able to support you! “
I was stunned at the time, thinking: "This plot is not right, it's not like this on TV!" "Woooooooooo
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