Trust is the biggest problem

Mondo Social Updated on 2024-02-04

Many people spend their entire lives trapped in trust issues without knowing it, or knowing themselves but unable to extricate themselves and solve them.

Many life and organizational dilemmas are ultimately caused by a crisis of trust. For example, between parents and children, between husband and wife, between superiors and subordinates, between colleagues, between teachers and students, between classmates, between investors and investees, between partners, between founders and people, between the court and the people, between countries 、、、

The Ming Dynasty died in the Chongzhen generation, but in fact it died in the trust between Chongzhen and the ministers, Wei Zhongxian's problem, Yuan Chonghuan's problem, Hong Chengchou's problem, Sun Chuanting's problem, Wu Sangui's problem、、、, Chongzhen Zhu Youzhen frequently changed cabinet ministers, and successively killed Yuan Chonghuan and other 18 feudal officials, and even the Huang Taiji outside the gate knew that as long as he couldn't win the Ming army, he would inevitably try all kinds of tricks with counter-strategy. In the end, Li Zicheng swept in, the treasury of the Ming Dynasty was empty, Chongzhen borrowed money from the ministers, and no one was willing to borrow it. However, after Li Zicheng conquered Beijing, countless gold and silver treasures were found from the homes of these ministers, and the money in the treasury was so large that it was moldy. There is no trust between monarchs and ministers to such an extent, it is no wonder that the Ming Dynasty is not dead. But Chongzhen didn't understand this truth until he hanged himself in the coal mountainOr blame "the ministers for misleading me".。This consciousness is not as good as Xiang Yu. When Xiang Yu failed, he just blamed God, saying, "This day to kill me, it is not a crime of war."

The problem of trust in the Manchu Qing Dynasty has always existed, and the most fundamental and primary problem is the problem of national trust. The so-called Manchu and Han families, in the early Qing Dynasty, took the initiative to improve Manchu-Han relations, but there was always a sense of reluctance and unilateral charity; In the late Qing Dynasty, the improvement of Manchu-Han relations was completely forced by the situation, because the Eight Banners Army was too collapsed, and there was no one who could fight, but internal and external troubles were like exhausting eggs, and they were imminent, and they could only rely on Hanchen's left and right branches to maintain it. Until the "preparatory constitution" was carried out, it was still engaged in small actions, and the royal family and nobles were forced to make the majority of the cabinet. However, the revolutionary party and Yuan Shikai could no longer get used to them. There was also a trust issue in the Qing Dynasty, which was between the court and the people. In the late Qing Dynasty, a series of defeats were fought against the outside world, and the common people did not know that there was such a thing, let alone any victory or defeat. In order to retain her power, Cixi used the Boxers to declare war on the foreign powers, but when she ran out, she turned her face and denied people and killed them all. Such a court is hellish if it doesn't die.

Liu Bang won Xiang Yu, the most fundamental winning point is that Liu Bang can trust others, even if you say that he is pretending, but he at least pretends to be long enough to win the world. You see that Liu Bang obviously doesn't look down on Han Xin, but after Xiao He's operation, Liu Bang took the stage to worship Han Xin as a general and entrusted the army with all his might. It is not Han Xin who he believes, but Xiao He. This kind of courage is really not something that ordinary people can do. Zhang Liang told people everywhere about the "Taigong Art of War", but no one birded him, only Liu Bang was willing to listen to him, so Zhang Liang gave it all and thought that Liu Bang was "God-granted" to him. At the Hongmen banquet, Liu Bang was able to withdraw with all his beards, and the core key was that Xiang Bo, the "Chu traitor", should be maneuvered throughout the whole process, and did not hesitate to risk offending Xiang Yu, and personally went down to protect Liu Bang with Xiang Zhuang. Why did Xiang Bo protect Liu Bang? In fact, it has nothing to do with Liu Bangmao, mainly because of Zhang Liang. Zhang Liang is Xiang Bo's savior, and the murderer he harbored back then was Xiang Bo. You see,Just because of trust, Liu Bang not only received the full help of Zhang Liang, a prodigy, but also saved his life at critical times again and again, which is simply useless.

Liu Bang is willing to trust others, so others are willing to trust Liu Bang, and all trust is mutual. Although the other princes and kings are snobbish in reality and sit back and watch the success or failure, as long as Liu Xiang and the two sides are equal in snobbery, they will not hesitate to choose to take refuge in Liu Bang, but are unwilling to take refuge in Xiang Yu, because Xiang Yu has never been able to solve the problem of trust, and he is neither good at solving it nor willing to solve it.

Xiang Yu's only way to solve the trust problem is: killing.

Huiji Taishou and Xiang Liang made an appointment to rebel, and Xiang Liang secretly called Xiang Yu to come in and kill Huiji Taishou in order to be the leader for himself, and then rebelled. This is the attitude of the uncle and nephew towards the partner who trusts him.

Song Yi advised Xiang Liang not to be too proud after winning the battle, otherwise he would incur defeat, Xiang Liang did not listen, and sure enough, he lost the battle, and he died in battle. Song Yi was named a general by King Chu Huai, and when he attacked Qin to save Zhao, he proposed to let Qin Zhao fight first, no matter whether the Qin army won or lost, when they were tired, the chances of winning against them were much higher. Xiang Yu didn't listen, and if he didn't listen, he would kill Song Yi directly, because Song Yi's position was higher than him.

After Xiang Yu recruited the Qin general Zhang Han, the rebels and the Qin soldiers reversed each other because of the relationship between bullying and being bullied, which made some of the Qin soldiers very dissatisfied with Zhang Han's choice to lead them to surrender, and there were many discussions in private. After Xiang Yu learned about this, he directly buried all the 200,000 Qin troops alive in the south of Xin'an City.

Xiang Yu is very much like the leader of a terrorist group, a big *** mercenary, turning his face faster than turning a book, and his attack is ruthless and black, but if there is a little opportunity and possibility, who would be willing to cooperate with such a person? It's light to say that it's a dance with a wolf, but it's a dance with Hades, who isn't afraid? The only time he can leave a way for people to live, there is only one possibility, that is, this person still has a relatively large use value for him. His greatest belief was force, and the word "trust" was worthless in his eyes. So even though his force value exploded and he stood alone in the world, he still lost in the end.

It's very hard to build trust between people, but it's easy to destroy it. Even Liu Bang is difficult to start and finish well. If you pretend for a while, you can't pretend for a lifetime. Trusting this kind of thing is easy to fight the world, difficult to sit in the world, easy to share hardships, and difficult to get rich together.

There is a serious lack of trust between Liu Bang and Empress Lu, especially after sitting in the world. The ancient emperor sat on three palaces and six courts, which was also a generally acceptable value at that time, but among the founding emperors and empresses, the relationship between the husband and wife in distress finally became as stiff as Liu Bang and Empress Lu, and it was really rare. A brutal emperor like Zhu Yuanzhang is also courteous and well-maintained by Queen Tsushima, and it is impossible for Lao Zhu to be without other concubines, but the two are not in conflict. Not to mention the story of Li Shimin and the eldest grandson queen and his wife, but doesn't Li Shimin also have a bunch of other romantic stories. There are also Emperor Wen of Sui Yang Jian and Empress Dugu, Lao Yang was managed to death by Empress Dugu, and he did not enjoy the treatment of the emperor at all in the relationship between men and women, which itself is also because of Lao Yang's own respect for Empress Dugu. Liu Bang couldn't handle the trust relationship between husband and wife, and his descendants suffered a lot because of this, and they were almost dying.

The relationship of trust between Liu Bang and the meritorious veterans was also not handled well, especially with Han Xin. Because he did not handle the trust relationship with Han Xin, he almost planted the root of the disease for the children and grandchildren of the old Liu family, and also left behind the infamy of "killing heroes" for more than 2,000 years.

Who is Han Shin? He is the first hero of the destruction of Chu and is known to the world. Without Han Xin, it would be impossible to have the Han family of the old Liu family. That is to say, no matter how good and sufficient your other conditions are, but you need to have extraordinary people to achieve extraordinary achievements, this person is "1", and all other conditions are "0", without this 1, everything is 0. When Han Xin was holding heavy troops, Xiang Yu once recruited Han Xin with ** Houlu, but Han Xin resolutely refused. If he hesitated and changed his mind at that time, there would be nothing to do with Liu Bang.

Because he did not deal with the trust relationship after the war, he gave Empress Lu the opportunity to kill Han Xin, so it caused a series of chain reactions later, Peng Yue, Yingbu, Han Wangxin, 、、、 in the final analysis, because everyone had no sense of security after seeing what happened to Han Xin. You're like this to the number one hero, do we still have a way to live?

The trust relationship may not be self-circulating and self-validating, but the distrustful relationship will definitely be self-circulating and self-validating.

Later, Emperor Wen of the Han Dynasty and Zhou Bo, Emperor Jing of the Han Dynasty and Zhou Yafu, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty and Wei Qing、、、 were all awkward in the end. Emperor Wen of Han can get the position of emperor, and Zhou Bo can be regarded as the first minister. And Zhou Bo followed Liu Bang to fight the world, which was really born and died, and made great achievements. But Emperor Wen of Han was extremely distrustful of Zhou Bo at the beginning, and later found a reason to put Zhou Bo in prison, humiliating him to the point of a nervous breakdown. The first thing Zhou Bo said after he was released from prison was:"Lao Tzu has led an army of millions for decades, and today I know that a cell boss is so awesome! ”

Emperor Wen of Han can be regarded as the wise lord of the first emperor of the ages, and he can't pull out this thorn in his heart. Because he was ashamed, he reused Zhou Bo's son Zhou Yafu.

But Zhou Yafu is a thorn in the heart of Emperor Han Jing, obviously Zhou Yafu made immortal contributions to Emperor Han Jing's rebellion, but because of his upright personality, he was finally locked up for a trumped-up reason, because he couldn't bear it, a generation of famous generals Zhou Yafu starved to death in prison.

In the end, those ministers felt that it was boring to work and work hard for a virtuous family like the old Liu family, and the relationship between the monarch and the minister became more and more tense. In the Han Dynasty, why did the dictatorship of relatives and eunuchs rise and fall like a seesaw, and never broke off? The fundamental reason is that the emperor does not trust the ministers, and the ministers do not trust the emperor, so the emperor can only rely on relatives and eunuchs, one is the family of the old mother, and the other is the people around him who have no descendants.

But in the end, it was Wang Mang who ended the Western Han Dynasty as a relative. The end of the Eastern Han Dynasty was the result of the joint action of eunuchs and relatives.

By the way, why Qin general Zhang Han was finally willing to lead hundreds of thousands of troops to surrender to Xiang Yu was also because Qin II Hu Hai only trusted the eunuch Zhao Gao around him, so Zhang Han felt desperate and desperate, so he surrendered Xiang Yu, the living king of Hades. The Qin Dynasty also died from a crisis of confidence, at least as one of the direct causes.

The main reasons for the crisis of confidence are as follows:

1. Information asymmetry.

China is a country of etiquette, there are pros and cons to this matter, the advantage is that everyone looks very civilized, and the disadvantage is that everyone talks too tortuously, hides and tucks, and does not say directly, and likes to make people guess.

For example, the various inexplicable lobbyists written in the "Historical Records" are most likely sent by the leader to some subordinates. This is already considered a good leader, and some leaders are too lazy to bother with it. It may be troublesome, or it may be afraid of falling into the handle, so he thinks that his subordinate should be a roundworm in his stomach, what does he think, you must guess it, you have to guess it, you can't guess, you can't guess it is that you have no eyesight, you can't be a person, you have low emotional intelligence, and you deliberately go against him. If you say more, you'll die? People are here to work for you, not to guess riddles.

A former subordinate colleague told me that his current supervisor sent him the ** on upward management in Peter Drucker's management thinking. I say that's good leadership, at least to put it bluntly. Those leaders who let you guess, you don't know how you died.

This hidden way of speaking is only one of the reasons for the information asymmetry. Superiors like to use information asymmetry to create a sense of mystery to achieve the purpose of establishing a sense of authority. But the result of this double-edged sword is that it is easy to create distrust between superiors and subordinates, distrust within the organization, extremely low organizational communication efficiency and operational efficiency, and major events will be mistaken at critical times. For example, Zhang Han's surrender.

2. Beliefs, philosophies and values are inconsistent.

This is easier to understand, if you believe in Jesus**, he believes in Buddha, it is naturally difficult to trust each other. You believe that might is justice, he believes that everyone is equal, and if you have to be reasonable and logical in everything, you naturally can't pee in a pot. You believe in A-shares, he believes in U.S. stocks, and they look at each other like big fools. But the last example is less realistic.

However, the trust problem caused by this difference is easy to solve, and the main thing is to understand each other thoroughly, respect each other, and avoid minefields.

3. The contradiction between the finite nature of resources and the unlimited nature of personal greed.

The root of this problem is actually the problem of resource allocation, which is also the most important source of the crisis of confidence.

The essence of the "chain of suspicion" of the dark forest proposed in "The Three-Body Problem" is also a crisis of trust caused by the distribution of resources between the universe.

The question boils down to this: I wonder if you want more? So I don't trust you.

The emperor and the meritorious veterans, the investors and the investees, the partners, the superiors and subordinates, and 、、、the colleagues will all be trapped in this problem.

The solution to this problem requires everyone to consciously abide by the rules and contracts, otherwise there will be no solution, and we will fall into endless chaos for generations.

4. Integrity and commitment fulfillment.

Many crises of trust arise because people tell lies and don't say what they say.

The Han Dynasty has the tradition of the Empress Dowager's arbitrary power, when Emperor Jing of the Han Dynasty, the Empress Dowager Dou was very fond of her youngest son King Liang, and Emperor Jing of the Han Dynasty said at the family banquet that he would pass on the throne to his younger brother King Liang after his death. was stopped on the spot by his cousin Wei Qihou Dou Ying, the nephew of the Empress Dowager Dou. Dou Ying said: "In order to please your mother now, you are addicted to it for a while, and you can't do it in the future, isn't that a slap in the face?" It's better not to say anything now. Emperor Han Jing listened and didn't speak.

Later, King Liang made all kinds of troubles, and a large part of the reason was that Emperor Jing of Han gave him this promise.

Zhu Di's second son, Zhu Gaoxu, the king of Han, also because Zhu Di told him: "The boss is not in good health, you have to work hard!" "So all kinds of tosses, all kinds of troubles.

The crisis of trust is the biggest pain point in human society, and solving this problem, even if it is a small branch problem, can basically create a business model and make a big business.

Alipay solves the problem of payment trust in online transactions, and Dianping, Xiaohongshu, etc. solve the problem of information asymmetry between the two sides of the transaction. In Feng Xiaogang's movie "If You Are Honest Do Not Disturb 1", Qin Fen played by Ge You invented it"Divergence Terminal",Fooling Fan Wei by 2 million pounds is to solve the trust problem of guessing boxing.

Looking at it this way, there are really many business opportunities, you can think about it.

Related Pages