Getting along with others is a science, and each of us can't escape this subject, and we are slowly studying it.
Man lives in this world, and it is impossible to live in isolation. You have to interact with other people. Some people never get the skills. In groups, they always feel isolated and difficult to fit in.
However, some people are like fish out of water. No matter who you hang out with, some people are laughable and popular.
People often think of popular people because they have high emotional intelligence, are easy to talk to, and have a good personality.
Of course, having high emotional intelligence is the desire of many people. There are also many people who want to learn how to have high emotional intelligence and become popular.
But in reality, emotional intelligence does not mean acquiring good presentation skills; Nor does it mean that the degree of comprehension can be understood. If you don't say anything out of bounds and don't do anything that crosses the line, then you've mastered the art of interacting with others.
Good fences make good neighbors. If you can maintain this attitude, you fit the definition of "high emotional intelligence".
No matter who you're friends with, don't do these three things. This is very sensible.
Mr. Zhou Guoping said: "Every interaction has a boundary that cannot be crossed in the end. Between two people, the boundary is not clear, but it is certain. All the problems and conflicts are inadvertently pushing this boundary. It stems from trying to push boundaries. ”
There are invisible boundaries between people. If someone tries to cross the line, they get into trouble.
When a relationship becomes intimate, many people subconsciously forget each other's boundaries and always feel that the relationship is too intimate and should be close to each other.
So, it's a scene that transcends the sense of distance and is inseparable, and you can't help but get closer, like conjoined twins, who are together in everything.
But these relationships are also at risk of their own. No matter how intimate the relationship is, once you get too close, it can be disastrous.
This also applies to close lovers. When they are deeply in love, they want to be together 24 hours a day. Little do they know that the closer they get, the faster the relationship will break down.
This is the secret to maintaining a stable sense of emotional distance over the long term. Don't get too close. Only by keeping a certain distance will our sense of beauty deepen, our troubles will be solved, we will get along better with each other, and the rest will be smoother and more comfortable.
The reason why many people always feel miserable when they are with people is because they can easily pull out their hearts and souls.
Teacher Tu Lei once said: "Never easily reveal your heart to others, when you have exhausted your sincerity, the only thing left is reluctance." And the other party has also changed from the beginning of the move to the last touch. But that's all. ”
Never overestimate humanity or your place in someone else's heart. This is what humans look like. If you're too nice to someone, they won't take you seriously.
In the beginning, he may be happy when you are nice to him.
Over time, he may get used to it and end up hating you even more and continuing to ask for more.
You've hollowed out your heart from the beginning, but what more can you give? If you show your true feelings to the other person, the relationship becomes unbalanced, you are paying, and the other person is still you in the end. Enjoy it. Your relationship has been very unequal from beginning to end.
When you are unapologetically kind to someone, you give them the opportunity to hurt you. No one escapes this law, whether it's a lover, a colleague, or a relative.
Everyone should be more careful not to hurt others, but to avoid being hurt by others.
On the other hand, when you confide in someone, you always want something in return. I feel like I've been giving so much, and I can't help but feel hopeful. In this way, the relationship becomes intangible, and the relationship is no longer pure.
People with high emotional intelligence do not easily reveal their hearts and souls to others. Only by doing your best to love your loved ones can you build a long-lasting relationship.
No matter how good your relationship is, don't criticize others and don't do anything deviant. In the end, it will only become a nuisance.
There are always people around you who use elders or intimacy as a shield to criticize others.
Gu Qingyu of "Home of the Heart", as a younger sister, likes to point out her brother's family situation. Indeed, she had good intentions from the beginning. She didn't want her brother to be deceived and often interfered in his marriage. 。
Eventually, his excessive interference led him to indirectly hurt his younger brother.
From a third-party point of view, her meddling is also annoying. Even biological siblings need to know certain boundaries and standards. You can give them advice, but you also need to respect them like an adult. When accusing, don't talk nonsense, but judge others from your own perspective.
Those who criticize you under the banner of "being good to you" are actually despising you, looking down on you, thinking that you are not good at doing things, and handling interpersonal relationships well. Indeed it is. Things went according to plan.
People with high emotional intelligence never talk nonsense about other people's affairs, are able to find their own place, and do not interfere in other people's private affairs. We must have a sense of balance, boundaries, and self-awareness when dealing with others. Only then will you be able to gain the love of others.
It's not easy to get along with others. If you're not careful, your relationship can be ruined.
Too far away can lead to estrangement, and too close can accelerate the deterioration of the relationship.
If you are indifferent to other people's things, it will give people a sense of indifference, but if you interfere too much, you will quickly get bored.
Only by maintaining appropriate standards and etiquette, knowing the boundaries of getting along with others, and not doing the above three things, can we gain good popularity and establish a long-term and stable relationship.