High-quality author list After getting married, my eldest sister has been managing her husband's salary, and I: I can't bear it anymore.
My name is Lin Yu and I have been married to my husband Wang Xin for three years, and we have been in love for two years.
In the course of our relationship, I learned a few things about his family background. He told me that his mother gave birth to his child after a second marriage, and that his father died of illness when he was very young. In addition, he has a half-sister who is 12 years older than him. Despite the large age difference, they have always maintained a good relationship with each other and kept in touch frequently.
I am very happy that he has such a loved one, because I know how lucky it is to have more people in this world who can care about him.
We didn't encounter too many twists and turns in our love time, so we entered the palace of marriage smoothly.
However, on the night of our wedding, when I asked him to share our wedding money and future salaries, he gave some unexpected responses. He told me that after his father's early death, his sister had been in charge of the finances of the family, and that his mother trusted her so much that even his salary was managed by his sister.
This fact came as a bit of a surprise to me, as he had always been very generous in our relationship, including respecting my opinion on the arrangements for engagement and marriage. Although our family conditions are good, our engagement and marriage do not have too many excessive requirements, and are more of a formal arrangement.
I was a little confused when I heard this: "Our family can trust my sister, I understand this." But she already has her own home, so why should she manage our family's finances, especially your money? ”
My husband explained: "I'm not very good at managing money, and my sister is afraid that I will spend it indiscriminately, so she will take care of my salary." ”
So what do you do when you want to use the money? I asked.
My sister sends me and my mother 1,500 yuan each for living expenses every month, and if you need more, you have to tell her. He said.
I proposed, "Now that we are married, we should manage our finances together, and we don't need to trouble your sister anymore." ”
Okay, I'll talk to them when I'm done. My husband agreed.
In this way, we decided on our wedding night to manage our finances together in the future.
I thought it was very simple, just to get my salary card back, but I didn't expect it to drag on for three years.
Soon after getting married, the husband first mentioned the matter to his mother.
But the mother-in-law's reaction was unexpected, "The two of you have just gotten married, and you don't have enough life experience, and your sister has been very good at managing finances for so many years." How sad your sister will be if she suddenly wants the money back! ”
My husband was a little embarrassed: "But Xiaoyu wants to manage it herself, how can I explain it to her?" ”
The mother-in-law said, "You don't have to worry about this, I'll take care of it." ”
Later, when my husband was not at home, my mother-in-law came to me to talk about it.
She cut straight to the point: "I know you want to manage Wang Xin's salary, which is reasonable under normal circumstances. But considering the special circumstances of our family, since the death of your father-in-law, thanks to your sister's frequent help and advice, we have been able to make a smooth transition. Therefore, it does not seem appropriate to ask her for money at this time. ”
I responded, "Mom, I understand your and your sister's good intentions, and I understand that you may feel a little embarrassed to make this request to her. Well, I'll find an appropriate time to discuss this with my sister in person, and you don't have to feel bad. ”
The mother-in-law retorted: "The problem is not sadness, but about the consumption habits of the two young people. Isn't it more reassuring for you to spend extravagantly and not save enough to let your sister take charge of your finances? ”
I explained, "Mom, everyone needs opportunities to grow and learn. We now have our own small family, and it is inconvenient to always rely on my sister to manage our finances. We will try to learn how to manage our money so that we can reduce our dependence on our sister. ”
The mother-in-law insisted: "No, as soon as you get married, you start asking to return to financial management, which will make your sister feel that we don't trust her, as if she is an outsider." It was decided so and will be discussed later. ”
After speaking, my mother-in-law made an excuse and left in a hurry, leaving me no chance to refute it.
Last night, I confided my grievances to my husband, who comforted me and promised to find the right time to solve the problem.
Time flies, half a year flies by in a flash.
On this day, my sister dropped by and I decided to take the opportunity to discuss this with her.
I said with some hesitation: "Sister, there is something I am not sure whether to say or not, I hope you don't mind." ”
She asked me curiously, "What's the matter, so hesitant?" ”
I tried to explain: "You know, since I got married to Wang Xin, I learned that you have been managing his salary, so I was thinking about ......”
I think I've made it very clear, and my sister seems to be understanding, thinking that couples should manage their finances together after marriage.
But she suddenly changed the subject: "So be it, you set aside your living expenses, and the rest of the money will be handed over to me to manage, and you can ask me directly when you need it." ”
I didn't expect such a twist at all: "Sister, I didn't mean ...... that”
Just when I wanted to clarify, my husband and mother-in-law came home, and in order to avoid embarrassment, I chose to remain silent.
After that, the family began to prepare dinner.
At the dinner table, my sister brought up the topic of salary again, and the eyes of my husband and mother-in-law embarrassed me, and I chose to continue to eat with my head down and did not respond.
Xiaoyu is always so sensible," the aunt said loudly, "She even offered to let me manage her salary!" ”
When she looked at me, my mother-in-law and my husband were stunned and didn't say a word.
The atmosphere became extremely awkward, and I just didn't know what to do.
But I knew I had to say something, and after a short thought, I said, "Auntie, maybe you heard me wrong. Wang Xin's income has been troubled by you a lot, and I will deal with it myself. ”
I smiled at her with a friendly smile.
Wang Xin realized that the situation was not good, and immediately tried to ease the atmosphere: "Yes, Xiaoyu will handle it by herself, don't bother you, sister, you are busy enough." ”
The aunt wanted to continue to say something, but the mother-in-law hurriedly interrupted: "Yes, yes, don't trouble your sister anymore, let's start eating." ”
In this way, the atmosphere at the dinner table is particularly heavy.
After my aunt left, my mother-in-law said to me: "Xiaoyu, didn't I tell you, don't mention the salary card in the future, look at today, how embarrassing it is!" ”
I replied, "How can it be embarrassing?" I just wanted to know about my husband's income, and my aunt's reaction was just too much. ”
Wang Xin hurriedly explained: "My aunt didn't mean it, she was just too enthusiastic and thought like this when she treated us as her own!" ”
In order to avoid future embarrassment, I did not make my displeasure clear at the dinner table.
However, my eldest sister made a suggestion that I found difficult to accept: let Wang Xin's salary be stored in full, and my salary would be used for our daily expenses. Wang Xin and her mother-in-law thought that the eldest sister would manage the money sensibly, thinking that this would accumulate a large amount of money. Although I was unhappy about this, I decided to endure it in the hope that this would make a big difference for the future.
A year after I got married, I had my own children, and after going through all the expenses of being a mother, I found that almost all of my salary was used for the daily needs of my children, and my savings gradually bottomed out.
As the pressure of life increased, Wang Xin and I both thought it was time to get back the money we had deposited with my eldest sister. We proposed the idea to my mother-in-law, who agreed.
So, one day, my mother-in-law contacted my eldest sister and asked her to come to our house to discuss the matter of withdrawing the deposit.
I understood that I was the most suitable person for this matter, so after exchanging a few polite words, I cut straight to the point.
Sister, the child's expenses are too great, and my income alone is no longer enough. So, I'm thinking, can you hand over Wang Xin's salary card to us to manage? In addition, I plan to take out the money in the card to invest in financial management, hoping to make some profits. ”
When my aunt heard this, she was obviously taken aback: "Let you manage?" You are so profligate, how can you be sure that you will not spend money indiscriminately? ”
I smiled and replied, "Sister, we've been married for almost three years, and we're no longer young, and we've seen a lot of the world, don't we still know how to manage our salaries?" ”
Do you really need that much money? Xiaoyu, don't you have a salary of almost 5,000 a month? Isn't that money enough for the family? She asked.
The things that children need must be bought, and good things are expensive, and we can't treat children badly. In addition, the expenses of insurance, gas, and entertainment are also very large. I explained.
Children don't have to buy the best everything, just be practical. I think your salary is more than enough, and you should even be able to save it. She thinks.
If we have the ability, why can't we give the best to our children? Why save? I asked rhetorically.
In the past, we had limited conditions and could not buy the best for our children. Although the conditions are good now, we cannot consume uncontrollably. She recalled.
Sister, the age difference between our child and your child is ten years, and the previous conditions cannot be compared with the present, so we naturally want to give the child better. I said.
I'm still worried that you're going to mess around. "She's still not reassured.
At this time, my husband interjected: "Sister, since Xiaoyu is willing to be responsible, let her manage it, you have worked hard for so many years." ”
But ......The aunt wanted to continue to object, but then the mother-in-law intervened: "Let it be given to your younger brother, they should also learn to manage money, and they can't always rely on you, just like a child who will never grow up." Give them my money too, and let Xiaoyu help invest and manage your finances. ”
After a long silence, the eldest sister only left an "okay" and made an excuse to leave.
However, a week has passed and she has not returned what she borrowed.
When we tried to contact her through Wang Xin, the eldest sister said that she would return in a few days, citing her busyness.
However, as the time went by for a month, the eldest sister neither showed up nor heard anything.
This anomaly made me feel uneasy, so Wang Xin and I decided to bring gifts to my eldest sister's residence, hoping to find out the truth.
When I approached my eldest sister's house, I heard the sound of an argument and the crying of my eldest sister.
Just as Wang Xin was about to knock on the door, I stopped him and chose to eavesdrop on the door, but I didn't expect to discover the shocking truth.
It turned out that the eldest sister used Wang Xin and her mother-in-law's money as a down payment to buy a property for her son. Now, when we ask for the money back, she can't come up with it.
She even considered having her husband sell ** to pay it back, even though it meant that there would be a loss.
After Wang Xin heard all this, his face was sad, and he didn't know what to do.
I decided to act immediately and knocked on the door.
As soon as the door opened, the eldest sister looked extremely flustered when she saw that it was us.
I ignored her reaction and walked straight into the room and sat down.
I made it clear to my brother-in-law that we were disappointed that they had used our funds to buy a house without consultation, and although we had volunteered to leave them with the management of our finances, we now had to ask for ** the funds. I emphasized that the money must be seen within three days.
The brother-in-law reacted violently and mentioned that he would suffer a huge loss by selling ** now. I suggested that he consider ** property as a solution, emphasizing the emergency that we urgently needed to use money.
Wang Xin also expressed dissatisfaction with his sister's behavior, believing that if there had been communication before, they would be willing to help without causing the current embarrassing situation.
My sister explained that she had planned to wait for her brother-in-law's ** appreciation before repaying the money, but she didn't expect that we would use the funds so urgently.
I expressed my understanding to my sister, but at the same time emphasized that since we also have our own financial plans and needs, there is no such thing as persecution. I explained the urgency of our need for money to manage our finances to improve the lives of our families, more so than their need to improve their quality of life.
After some conversation, the brother-in-law finally agreed to *** to repay the money.
We were able to recover our funds.
Although I feel conflicted in this process, I believe that married couples should strive to maintain their own lives independently, and relying on the family of origin may not only exacerbate the conflict between husband and wife, but also have a negative impact on the feelings and lives of family members.