New Year's greetings are a contrast.
I remember two years ago, when I mentioned to my parents that my boyfriend might come to the house for New Year's greetings, their reaction was cold and a little puzzled. They feel that in an unmarried state, their boyfriend's New Year's greetings seem to be out of place, and even a little abrupt. So, in those two years, our relationship developed quietly without too many waves.
However, time flies, and in the blink of an eye we are on the verge of engagement. When I mentioned again that my boyfriend was coming to the house for New Year's greetings, my parents' attitudes changed drastically. They became unusually warm, as if they were welcoming a loved one back together after a long absence. They get busy, shopping for New Year's goods, making restaurant reservations, and wanting to entertain the soon-to-be family member in the best way possible.
On the morning of the first day of the Lunar New Year, my boyfriend arrived as scheduled. Although he didn't bring expensive gifts, I still felt that it was a bit inappropriate to visit empty-handed. So, I suggested that he buy some fruit at the supermarket downstairs as a greeting gift. When my boyfriend stepped through the house, I was almost surprised by the enthusiasm of my parents. While warmly greeting their boyfriends into the door, they were busy taking out all kinds of food and pouring tea. There were smiles on their faces, as if they were treating a distinguished guest.
At lunch, my boyfriend drank a lot of wine with my dad. After three rounds of drinking, my mother suddenly took out a thick red envelope and handed it to my boyfriend. My boyfriend obviously didn't know that there would be such an arrangement, and he looked at me with some surprise. My mom smiled and said, "This is the first time I've seen you, so take it." "I was a little surprised by the thickness of the red envelope, and then we counted it, and it was 10,001 yuan. I told my boyfriend that my parents weren't usually so generous to me. Whether it is a birthday, a higher education or a New Year's Eve money, the maximum is 1,000 yuan.
After learning that I was going to my boyfriend's house for a visit in the second year of junior high school, my parents also prepared a lot of New Year's goods for me to bring over. However, when I stepped through the door of my boyfriend's house, the atmosphere I felt was completely different from mine. My boyfriend's parents didn't seem to be too enthusiastic about my arrival, just gave me a faint look at the gift I brought, and then asked me to put it on the ground. I sat on the couch in the living room and felt a little embarrassed. The family doesn't seem to have much to talk about, just occasionally watching the replay of the Spring Festival Gala on TV.
When it was time to eat, my boyfriend's father mentioned several times that he wanted to cook, but my mother only verbally agreed, but her body was still sitting on the sofa and not moving, her eyes glued to the TV. I quietly tugged at my boyfriend's sleeve and gave him a look, hoping that he would notice my discomfort. However, he just nodded at me, not seeming to understand what I meant. At that moment, I felt a little disappointed and helpless.
I felt that this atmosphere was really unbearable, so I stood up and said goodbye, saying that I would go to a relative's house in the afternoon to pay New Year's greetings, so I left first. At this time, her boyfriend's mother woke up from a dream and said, "Why don't you eat and leave?" Sit down a little longer and let his dad stew ribs for you. The boyfriend's father also chimed in: "That's it, why are you in a hurry?" Sitting, I went to buy ribs. When I heard this, I knew in my heart that they didn't actually have anything to prepare for us, just a random excuse. So, I walked firmly.
After going out, my boyfriend chased after me and stuffed me with a small red envelope, saying that it was a little bit of his parents' kindness and that he wanted to give it to me during dinner. I was not polite, I said, "Thank you for me, Mom and Dad", and put it in my pocket. After getting into the taxi, I took out the red envelope and counted it, and there was only 1,000 yuan in it. At that moment, I had mixed feelings in my heart.
The experience of these two days made me deeply feel the huge difference between the two families. Actually, it's not about money, it's about thinking that my boyfriend's family doesn't even understand the most basic etiquette. Reciprocity of courtesy is a traditional virtue of the Chinese nation and a basic criterion for interpersonal communication. I have always believed that marriage is not just a matter of two people, but also a union of two families. If the other party's parents don't even understand this basic truth, then it will be more difficult to get along in the future.
Looking back on the experience of these two days, I suddenly had the idea of breaking up. I know it's a bit impulsive, but I can't help but think: If we keep going, can we really be happy? Will his family accept me? Will I be able to adapt to their lifestyle? These questions kept swirling in my mind and kept me at peace.
However, I also understand that a breakup is not the only way to solve the problem. Maybe we can try to communicate, try to understand each other's thoughts and feelings. After all, love requires both parties to work together. I hope we can find a way for each other to accept and respect each other's family and culture and create a better future together.
This experience made me realize the importance of interpersonal relationships more deeply, and it also made me cherish the people and things in front of me more. I believe that no matter what the end result is, this experience will be a valuable asset in my life. At the same time, I also hope that by sharing this experience, more people can pay attention to and think about interpersonal relationships and family culture.