In 278 BC, Bai Qi led the black-clothed army to break through Yingdu, the capital of Chu, indicating that 57 years before Qin annexed the world, he had already foreseen that the general trend of the world would overthrow.
On the bank of the Miluo River, a figure with a cloak and a withered head walked alone. Between his lips and teeth, he repeatedly chanted: "The whole world is turbid, I am alone, everyone is drunk, and I am sober." ”
No one noticed his loneliness, and no one understood his persistence. It wasn't until later that Taishi Gong's hometown revisited, and they talked in the air, leaving behind the famous "Biography of Qu Yuan Jia Sheng".
Since then, the martyrdom of the literati by jumping into the lake seems to have become a symbol. Through time and space, in 1927, Wang Guowei, a master of Chinese studies, wrote "In the past fifty years, only one death is owed, and after this incident, there is no more humiliation", and then resolutely threw himself into Kunming Lake in the Summer Palace.
Although his book "Words of the World" is most widely recited today, his style can no longer be replicated. Time and space reincarnated, and the tragedy played out again in the autumn of 1966.
On the shore of Taiping Lake in Beijing's Xicheng, an old man wandered for a long time, and finally chose the same path as Qu Yuan and Wang Guowei and threw himself into the cold lake water.
If I have the opportunity to return to the scene of history, I will be like the Miluo River fisherman who dissuaded Qu Yuan, although the ending cannot be changed, I hope to understand their deep pain and humiliation, what made them choose to give up their lives.
I hope that they can be like Qian Qianyi in the last years of the Ming Dynasty, complain that the water is too cold, and then bravely go to find a new life. Mr. Lao She's son, Shu Yi, if they do that, then they are no longer themselves.
However, the reality is cruel, in the autumn of 1966, on the shore of Taiping Lake in Xicheng, Beijing, the old man's body has been fished to the shore by the staff, and the documents clearly indicate that he is Shu Qingchun, that is, the famous writer Lao She we are familiar with.
That's right, do you remember the Mr. Lao She who appeared in our textbooks? "Winter in Jinan" still seems to be hovering in our memory, the fresh air of "Grassland" is still bubbling in a certain channel in our memory, and Xiaofuzi in "Camel Xiangzi" is probably still complaining helplessly in the middle of the ** ......But unfortunately, this brilliant writer has left us forever, and the distance from us has become life and death.
When his only son, Shu Yi, arrived at the scene, he couldn't believe his eyes, his father didn't leave a word before he left the house, and he didn't even mention the topic of his impending death.
Years later, Shu Yi recalled the scene again, and he vaguely remembered that his father had asked his mother if the family had enough money to meet daily expenses. After hearing his mother's answer, Shu Yi seemed to remember what his father said: "That's good." ”
Shu Yi remembers that early autumn morning, his father went out as usual, but this farewell will never be reunited. He looked at his father's cold corpse with teary eyes, although the ancient capital had always been bleak in autumn, he didn't feel too much sadness, just silently called his father's name, hoping that his father would give him a response, but no.
His father's warm palms and ardent expectations are deeply engraved in Shu Yi's memory. He remembers that his father encouraged him to study wood hydrolysis synthetics, and after successfully entering a Soviet university, he was very proud of his achievements.
At that time, he and his family lived happily ever after, but it all collapsed in an instant, and the family was shattered. Shu Yi deeply understands the feeling of living in the envy of everyone since he was a child, and then falling into a trough in an instant.
His father was a people's artist, but after 1966, he lost this title and became a bullied rightist. He was born into an aristocratic family in the late Qing Dynasty, and his grandfather died in the struggle against foreigners, so he lacked superior living conditions from an early age.
However, with the help of well-wishers, he was able to enter the school to study, and with his ingenuity, he was given the opportunity to study abroad at public expense. Initially, he went to England.
Later, by studying his life, he realized that it was an experience that was very important to him. In England, he came into contact with the famous British writer Hardy, who said that Hardy had a profound influence on his creation, and there are some traces of learning from Hardy in "Lao Zhang's Philosophy".
My father was busy with official duties for a long time, and he had little time to spend with his family. People respectfully call him a writer because of his influence. At school and at work, he held his father in high esteem.
However, my father died as a "sinner". At that moment, he realized that his original self needed to change and continue to live a low-key life. He lived cautiously, just like Lin Daiyu was cautious when he first stepped into Jiafu, for fear that he would take a wrong step and be caught in braids.
Some seeds quietly sprout in the bottom of my heart, like curiosity about my father. Previously, he had not read his father's writings in depth, and his understanding of his father was limited to life and constant calling.
Facing his father's body, he sat for a day and a night, and became curious about his father's spiritual world.
What kind of mental strength made him choose such a path under what kind of pressure? He quit his old job and devoted himself to his father's research, and the more he delved, the more he discovered his father's greatness.
In order to avoid suspicion, he often referred to his father by the name of Mr. Lao She in his research, as a sign of rigor and fairness in his research work. In the course of his research, he exposed a brutal truth - in that crazy era, truth, goodness and beauty were ruthlessly trampled on, and conscience had become a rare luxury.
Writers Haoran and Cao Ming publicly criticized Mr. Lao She, and later Cao Ming personally visited Lao She's mother and confessed his sins to her.
Haoran has always insisted that he was not wrong, believing that Mr. Lao She's family had made a mistake. It is said that the relationship between Mr. and Mrs. Lao She was very tense at that time, which made him feel very depressed, which eventually led to the tragedy.
At the end, I sighed, life is like a dream, why cling to inherent prejudice and restrain myself for a lifetime? It's better to face it honestly and laugh at life, wouldn't it be more free and happy? However, it is often difficult for people in the world to see through the shackles of fame and fortune.
We pray that the history of tragedy will not repeat itself and that it will forever become a memory of the past.