1. The baby is playing while defecating, grinding foreign workers, what is going on?
Freud believed that the child was in the ** period from one to three years old, when he began to use the contraction of his ** muscles to control the stool. The passage of stool irritates the mucous membrane and causes pain, in addition to which pleasure occurs.
He also believes that children will think of poop as part of their body at the earliest. Parents often ask their baby to defecate, and he will feel that his parents are looking forward to his poop and think that poop is a gift for his parents.
Therefore, defecating at the request of the parents means that the baby actively compromises with the environment, and refusing to defecate is a rebellion against the environment.
When some babies sit on the potty for a long time and hold their feces without discharge, they either produce pleasure through the act of holding stool, or they are trying to resist or influence their parents.
Therefore, we often hear some people refer to OCD as "** stage personality". Because these people are always in a conflict of obedience or confrontation, love or hate.
Reading this, can you better understand the opening question and reduce some impatience?
2. The mother treats the baby's poop as a natural thing, which helps his mental health.
Once, a French child psychoanalyst said: If the mother shows an aversion to the stool after every poop of the child, and is very anxious to scrub the baby clean.
Then it will give the baby the impression that poop is a bad thing, and once it comes out, the mother will be very anxious and want to clean it up quickly.
If the mother is anxiously waiting for the baby's stool every day and nervously paying attention to the stool, the baby will feel that this is a worrying thing, which will also scare the child.
Therefore, the mother treats the baby's poop as a natural thing to deal with, naturally and calmly, does not panic and does not refuse too much, which will be better for the child's mental health growth. Of course, the mother's calmness still needs the father to provide a stable environment.
3. Parents should respect the normal time rules of their children's development and do not over-demand. Normal companionship is the best love we can give our children.
In his book Everything is Language, Dordo says that when the baby's neurodevelopmental system is not so mature, if the parent takes the toilet and the child does it, it is often to please his mother.
He learned to control his excretory function prematurely, became clean prematurely, he must have used his greatest energy, exceeded the limits of his neurological development, and did something that he should not have done, which was a disaster for the child. It will have a certain impact on his chances of suffering from mental illness in adulthood.
It is recommended that parents wait patiently for the baby to grow up, do not make too high demands on the child too early, and respect the normal time pattern of the child's development. All you have to do is respect, accompany, listen, understand his state.
4. If your child wets the bed at an age when it should not be wetting, then you should also consider whether there are psychological factors while ruling out the physiological causes.
It is important that you show him an attitude: although you are busy, you care about him, you want to understand him, you want to communicate with him, you try to understand him.
Children are actually very kind, they can feel the understanding from their mother, from their mother's efforts, and from their mother's love.
When they feel your love for them, even if you don't say what they really want to say, a magical self-healing may have happened.
5. If your baby has constipation problems, excluding physiological problems is usually caused by excessive attention or too strict requirements of parents.
Many times we need our parents to make some judgments, but our own family members have to believe in ourselves. Because, no matter what the discipline, including psychology, has its own limitations. Being a parent also has its limitations.
We can make mistakes, accept that we can be wrong, accept that we will be imperfect. Only by accepting your own imperfections can you accept your baby, accept that he is sometimes imperfect, he will also have shortcomings, and you will not be satisfied.
6. In fact, each period helps us to continuously establish a mother-child relationship and constantly form a new mode of interaction, which will have a certain impact on the formation of children's mental structure in the future.
Therefore, we must always emphasize this concept: in the process of accompanying children, listen to children more and understand them more.
[Heal in life, enrich in action.] I am your psychological counselor, pay attention to me and accompany you to change for the better! 】
Controversy Project