In 2022, I entered a foreign company with high localization from the Internet, and I also passed the trial period very smoothly. But from mid-2023, there are rumors in other departments of the company and colleagues in the pulse that the company is reducing costs and increasing efficiency. On a working day after the Qingming Festival, my PM (direct leader) made an appointment with everyone to pass the recent performance one by one, because everyone would talk, and I didn't think too much about it.
Our 1v1 is very official or conventional, I used a few pages of PPT to report on the work, and then the PM commented and gave some suggestions. The conversation was normal in the front, and then I began to mention that the previous PM was not satisfied with me (the new PM had just been replaced), and on the spot I euphemistically refuted the evaluation of the previous PM one by one and gave reasonable evidence, and then continued to communicate and explain, and the new PM also partially agreed. But at the end of the conversation, the PM style changed, and the conclusion was that everyone was dissatisfied with me, and the big boss also felt that I had not fulfilled my corresponding responsibilities as a manager, so he began to say that I wanted to improve performance, or PIP for short.
PIP, of course, I know, is an abbreviation of Performance Improvement Plan, called Performance Improvement Plan. Generally, enterprises use this, which means that they want to persuade people to quit but do not want to lose money - on the grounds that the employee's performance is not good, the employee is required to sign a written document, and the employee can be dismissed in a legal way without compensation.
At the time, I thought to myself, you are quite cautious, I didn't even have time to record this operation. Because I have been in the company for a short time, if I don't agree with PIP, I will face immediate dismissal, and then I will pay two months at most, so it is better to drag it with you. So I said you send out the performance improvement plan first, and then the two of you broke up.
When I received the plan, I found that the so-called improvements could not be signed at all, and each one was outrageous, but in order to delay the time, I chose a partial compromise (that is, the big goal agreed but the specific number was argued), and I communicated back and forth for two weeks, and I did not confirm the signature, and then the PM did not look for me. At the same time, the other two were also talked to PIP colleagues in the same department to communicate and understand together, one of them directly refused to sign because of a long time in the company and found HR to go through the resignation compensation process, but halfway through said that he was stopped by the big boss, just changed at that time, the company's China head also just sent a letter to summarize last year's situation and said that there will be no layoffs this year, combined with my PM did not look for me, I also thought that this wave had passed, so I continued to hold on.
But things didn't go as smoothly as expected.
On the one hand, I successfully found a job during the epidemic last year and the year before last, but this year, no one cared about submitting my resume. I still have some information and contacts in the previous industry, and I also asked people in the head and waist company, but most of them were not related to HC, or I just looked at my resume and waved goodbye. Of course, I do have too many buffs (age 35 & single woman & frequent job hopping & non-strong technical positions), which causes me to become less and less confident.
On the other hand, although it seems to be slow here, the work arranged for me is obviously implying and practicing "I can force you to go if you don't go". Took over a bad project, the project manager put my name on me, but I didn't have the opportunity to be deeply involved (I was the one who took the blame), and this project went 3 related people before me, and the recently left took the initiative to send me a message saying "take care.""。At the same time, PM threw me a lot of scattered administrative or internal process work, which was untechnical but none of us in the team had done it, and I needed to explore it bit by bit, and it was time-sensitive. But at that time, there was no progress in finding a job, and I was even more worried about losing this job that looked glamorous and not low-paying, so I didn't dare to refuse and worked hard to complete the task.
I spent those two months in high anxiety. Sometimes I get off work very late, but I don't want to sleep, I can't control staying up late to watch dramas, or I can't sleep until dawn, or I don't sleep until 2 o'clock, which leads to a very poor state the next day, a vicious circle, and I am very nervous when I get to work. On weekends, I slept upside down, and I didn't ask anyone out to talk and chat. This state lasted for several weeks, and at the beginning of the month, it was just the menstrual period, and the person collapsed at once. In those days, when I went to work every day, I would cry uncontrollably, and in some days, I would involuntarily tremble in the evening, panic and even breathless. One day, a classmate happened to chat with me, chatting and found that he had also encountered such a situation, consulted a psychiatrist and had been seeking medical treatment and taking medicine, and then began to realize the seriousness of the problem, and decisively went to No. 600 on the weekend to hang up the expert number, mild anxiety, prescribed medication for observation.
When I came back from the hospital, I went downstairs to the park for a walk, and I suddenly figured out a lot when I looked at the flowers and trees. I took a leave of absence on Monday and took a bold break, but when I went to the office on Tuesday, I was interviewed by PM and said that I was optimized. And the moment I was notified, I was very happy, and I told my friends that I was really relieved and relieved.