understands feudalism and desperation, and understands Han Laohai's helplessness in forced marriage
In order to persuade Zhu Kaishan to agree to his daughter's marriage to Chuanwu, Han Laohai can be said to have racked his brains, and even threatened to use "blisters" to solve the drought problem of the Zhu family.
He and his family knew that Chuanwu didn't like Xiu'er, but he didn't think it mattered. He believes that the love and marriage of the children are not important, what matters is the order of the parents of the marriage, the words of the matchmaker.
As long as Zhu Kaishan agrees to this marriage, the children can live a happy life. However, he never expected that Chuanwu would be so resolutely opposed to this marriage, he ran away from home, went on a hunger strike**, and even eloped with Xian'er on the wedding night.
Xiu'er couldn't accept this reality and went crazy directly. Han Laohai was very angry about this, and he began to take revenge on the Zhu family. thought that Chuanwu eloped, the two families became enemies, and the relationship between Xiu'er and Chuanwu would end, and she would slowly let go of Chuanwu under the care of her parents and start a new life.
When the Zhu family left Yuanbao Town to Qiqihar, Han Laohai personally took Xiu'er to Zhu's house and asked Zhu Kaishan to leave with Xiu'er. His intention is very clear, that is, Xiu'er will be a member of the Zhu family from now on, and the Han family will have nothing to do with her.
However, Xiu'er spent 18 years without moving Chuanwu, nor did she let Chuanwu fall in love with her for a long time, but instead became an embarrassing existence in the Zhu family that "a daughter is not a daughter, and a daughter-in-law is not a daughter-in-law".
I have never been able to figure out why Han Laohai is so stubborn and pushes his daughter into the fire pit again and again, is there a man in this world? He knew that Chuanwu didn't like his daughter, so why did he force him to marry Xiu'er?
How can a daughter be happy in such a marriage? Xiu'er is young and ignorant, her dedication to love and her addiction to Chuanwu are only temporary, and Han Laohai, as an experienced person, should guide her daughter at this time, let her slowly get out of the whirlpool of feelings, and let time dilute the damage she suffered from Chuanwu.
It wasn't until I repeatedly read the original book and carefully scrutinized the paragraph of Han Laohai's forced marriage that I understood the real reason why Chuanwu refused to marry him many times, but Han Laohai still wanted to force him to marry.
In order to let Xiu'er marry into the Zhu family, Han Laohai did three things to Zhu Kaishan: lure, persecution, and catching up.
The lone seedling of the old Han family is a treasure in the palm of Han Laohai's hand. She loves martial arts, and Han Laohai is determined to fulfill her wishes. However, Chuanwu is not interested in Xiu'er, his character is proud and stubborn, as long as he is unwilling, the nine cows can't pull him.
coincided with a great drought, and the Zhu family's crops were about to wither. Zhu Kaishan had to borrow water from Han Laohai. Han Laohai has been looking for an opportunity to marry the Zhu family, but he is worried that the woman will appear "lowly" if she takes the initiative too much.
Therefore, he decided to take this opportunity to exchange the friendship of the two families. Zhu Kaishan is a figure with a head and a face, with his dignity and pride. Although he also likes Xiu'er, Han Laohai's obvious calculation makes him uncomfortable, and he doesn't want people to say that he is "exchanging his son for water".
Therefore, he politely rejected Han Laohai's proposal many times. Han Laohai tried to deceive him with benefits, but he forgot that Zhu Kaishan was a bright and upright hero, he acted in a fair and upright manner all his life, and would not do such a shameful thing as "exchanging his son for water".
Seeing that the crops were about to be harvested due to drought, Zhu Kaishan became ill in a hurry. In order to curry favor with Chuanwu, Xiu'er privately dug up her own blisters to release water for the Zhu family. In order to force Zhu Kaishan to agree to the marriage of the two families, Han Laohai let out the wind and said that he would report to the official to deal with it.
However, Zhu Kaishan was unwilling to bow his head, he directly tied Chuanwu to the Han family and played a bitter trick. In front of the villagers, he killed his relatives righteously, saying that he would never protect the rebellious son.
Seeing this, Han Laohai wanted to take this opportunity to confirm the relationship between the two families. He told Zhu Kaishan that they are all members of their own family and there is no need to be so nervous. However, Zhu Kaishan heard Han Laohai's calculations and coercion.
He thought about his past, and felt that he had never been so passive as he was now, and his face could not be hanged. So, he taught his son in public, beat Chuanwu severely, and ended the "water for marriage" transaction with bitter meat.
Han Laohai realized that he had fallen into Zhu Kaishan's bitter trick after Zhu Kaishan left with Chuanwu. He wanted to report to the official, but in fact, he just wanted Zhu Kaishan to agree to the family affairs of Chuanwu and Xiu'er.
Zhu Kaishan's reaction caught him off guard, and he had no choice but to let him go. Now, Han Laohai is full of remorse and decides to put down the shelf and adopt a "sincere" attitude. He personally chased after Zhu Kaishan with gifts to apologize, and directly expressed his desire to become in-laws.
Zhu Kaishan and Wen Taniang were very satisfied with Xiu'er, but they never made their thoughts public because of Han Laohai's previous "blister". Now, Han Laohai sincerely asked for marriage, and they were no longer polite and agreed to the marriage.
After Han Laohai got Zhu Kaishan's consent to this family matter, he couldn't wait to go to Zhu's house to make a decision, he told Zhu Kaishan that although according to the convention, it should be the matchmaker who proposes marriage first, the children go on a blind date, and then make a decision after the ceremony, and finally choose a day to marry, but they are all neighbors, and these cumbersome steps can be omitted.
This "forced marriage", which was full of twists and turns, ended with Zhu Kaishan writing "I should kiss, you release the water". However, what Han Laohai didn't expect was that his original intention was to find a good family for his daughter and avoid her being wronged in her in-law's family, but in the end, his daughter was widowed for 18 years and spent 18 years of lonely life, from a lively and lovely girl to a woman with empty eyes and a sad heart.
Han Laohai once confessed to Xiu'er Niang that he was not against Xiu'er and Chuanwu's relationship, but was optimistic about Chuanwu's heroism. Han Laohai's family is honest, but there is only one daughter, Xiu'er, who is worried that after a hundred years, there will be no one to inherit the family's business, and he is even more afraid that Xiu'er will be "eaten out".
At that time, the concept was relatively conservative, and the lack of children in the family would be ridiculed by others, and women could also face a tragic fate after the death of a man. Therefore, Han Laohai hopes to establish a solid line of defense for the Han family through the marriage between Xiu'er and Chuanwu.
In the feudal era, the status of men was noble, and women could only rely on men to live, if the male pillar of the family died, and there was no son to inherit the family business, or the son was too young to resist, orphans and widows could only watch the clan and relatives plunder the family's belongings, and were driven out of the house and forced to a dead end.
This egregious behavior is known as "eating the house". Han Laohai knew that Chuanwu didn't like Xiu'er, and forced Chuanwu to marry Xiu'er, because he knew that the Zhu family was a benevolent and righteous family, and Zhu Kaishan was also a righteous person, as long as he married the Zhu family, he didn't have to worry about being swallowed up of his family property, and he was not afraid that his daughter would be bullied after a hundred years.
Chuanwu also inherited Zhu Kaishan's "bloodiness" and righteousness, and Xiu'er followed him, which was equivalent to finding the most reliable backer for the Han family. Of course, in private, Han Laohai also had another intention: he wanted to let Chuanwu into the fold.
It's a good idea, but he's not surnamed Han! This sentence is somewhat tentative, because the Zhu family has three sons, and they live near Yuanbao Town, if Chuanwu can enter the Han family, it is more convenient to contact each other, and it should not have much impact on the Zhu family.
However, when Zhu Kaishan said, "Even if his surname is Han, you won't be able to remember anything when you leave this world", Han Laohai knew that Zhu Kaishan was unwilling, so this idea gradually faded.
In an era of chaos and war, the foundation of the Han family for many years was ruined. In order to find a reliable safe haven for Xiu'er, Han Laohai entrusted Xiu'er to the Zhu family.
He knew that the Zhu family was righteous and kind, and he believed that they would not treat Xiu'er badly. Han Laohai thought about it carefully, because in this world, the phenomenon of "eating out of households" still exists, and he hopes that Xiu'er can have a long-term reliance.
However, Han Laohai was faced with a difficult choice. He knew that Chuanwu was not his daughter's beloved, but he was afraid that in that era, his body was getting older and older, and he could no longer spell out a family business for Xiu'er.
He hoped that Xiu'er could live well in the Zhu family, and hoped that she could find warmth and shelter in that big family. Behind Han Laohai's decision is his deep love. He thinks about Xiu'er's future, and he hopes that she can find her place in that era.
He told himself that the so-called love of his parents must have far-reaching plans, and he hoped that his decision would bring happiness and peace to Xiu'er.