Any comments from people close to me will hit me hard, but what can I do if other people's opinions I don't care?
It's a very common situation that you're not alone.
This is because the source of our love comes from the other person, including our affirmation, the care we want to get, and even the love and approval that we are too used to in the other person's eyes.
So what to do? I would say if you can do it, then choose your close friends carefully; If you say that the people who will belittle you and give you negative comments are your family, then the subject you are going to study is called boundaries; Because that means that the boundaries between you and your family are too sticky, and this situation will cause you to take his world as the world and his eyes as the vision, and you will not be able to distinguish a little.
What you can practice a little bit at this time is, what would I think of my child if he was treated the same way I did?
For example, if you come home after doing something and your family tells you, "I don't think you're doing as well as last time (or no one is as good as you were last time)" and like that, your heart will definitely sink down, and you need to practice regulating your emotions at this time, and you have to start saying to yourself: Yes, I feel that he said these things to me, and I feel very frustrated and frustrated. Ask yourself, how do you want your family or someone close to you to treat you? You'll need to practice answering these questions on your own.
Or do you agree with them from the bottom of your heart, feeling that you really did a terrible job, so you deserve to be scolded? It means that you also agree that you are not doing a good job, and your frustration will be doubly great. But if at this time, you look at it, think about it, and tell yourself that what you need at this time is a warm hug and accept your frustration. If that's what you want, be honest with yourself, and the next step is to practice letting your close people know how you want to be treated.
Meaning,When we learn the concept of boundaries and learn that the relationship is supportive in the long term, the other person also needs to learn to some extent.
If you tell me: But my family can't change it, all I can say is: Then take a step back! If you want to go to your group, that's all you have to do.
When you all feel a sense of belongingBothComing from a family full of criticism and negativity, you will find that the circle of your life is probably in that kind of environment, and it is difficult for you to step out, because if you are in such a negative criticism for a long time, it will be difficult to have a deep connection with other people, and you will feel that other people look down on you.
And usually if you start to divide the relationship with your family, you will start to build your own group very early, you can also say that it is a comfort zone; In fact, everyone needs a comfort zone, they all need a sense of belonging, they need to have a circle, because in this circle, no matter what you talk to them, they are understanding, and even help you improve, and they can give you more courage.
So more importantly, when you start to recognize, are you willing to start creating such circles? This is also a part to remind everyone!