Being helpful in dealing with others is the traditional virtue of the Chinese nation, and it is also the responsibility that we should assume as members of society.
However, when it comes to helping others, there are also some issues that we must be aware of to avoid getting into trouble.
"Helping others three times, bad luck is riddled with bad luck", this is an old proverb, which means that when helping others, there are three kinds of favors that cannot be helped casually, otherwise it will bring bad luck to yourself.
What are the three types? Let's take a look.
Li Qiang and Wang Lei, the two grew up together, and they were classmates from elementary school to university, in their words, the two are "closer than brothers".
After graduating, Li Qiang opened a small restaurant with the help of his family, which was not very profitable, but it was enough to make ends meet.
And Wang Lei entered the investment banking work, with a shrewd mind and outstanding vision, he became prosperous in the investment world and made a lot of money.
However, Wang Lei's heart is getting bigger and bigger, and his overconfidence in himself made him start to increase leverage, and as a result, when he encountered a sharp fall, he not only returned the money he earned from **, but also took on debts.
One day, the two met at a dinner in their hometown, and during the dinner, Wang Lei revealed his recent predicament to Li Qiang.
Hadron, I really have no choice now, can you lend me some money to turn around? Wang Lei asked tentatively.
In just a few months, this investment will come back soon, and you don't know my previous performance? ”
We are brothers, and after decades of friendship, I won't pit you. ”
When Li Qiang heard this, he was immediately a little embarrassed, his restaurant was not very profitable, and the deposit on hand was not much.
I can't tell my wife about this, and my wife has always told him to do what he can, especially in money, not to slap his swollen face and become fat.
If it is not for the difficulties in life caused by the illness of the elderly and children, don't lend money to others easily, she said, otherwise it is easy to do bad things with good intentions, and in the end friends have nothing to do.
But considering the deep friendship with Wang Lei, he really couldn't bear to refuse, "He is different from others, there will be no problems." Li Qiang said to himself in his heart.
And he was really powerful before, and the icing on the cake was not as good as charcoal in the snow. Pull him during the trough, and it will be easier to ask for something in the future, after all, no one can guarantee that he will always have a smooth sailing. ”
Thinking of this, Li Qiang said boldly: "Brother Lei, we have been friends for so many years, your business is my business." I don't have that much money in my small business, so you wait for me to scrape together money in the next two days and see how much I can help you. ”
A few days later, Li Qiang took out all his savings of 200,000 yuan and handed it to Wang Lei, Wang Lei was moved, his eyes were slightly moist, he took the money, and was so excited that he couldn't speak.
After a long time, he spoke: "Li Qiang, I ......."I don't know what to say. You are truly my brother, and I will remember this kindness. ”
Li Qiang smiled and patted him on the shoulder: "You're welcome, it's right for friends to help each other." ”
Wang Lei nodded heavily: "Don't worry, I will return this money to you with interest." ”
Months passed, and Wang Lei did not fulfill his promise.
Li Qiang was a little anxious at first, but he thought that his friend might indeed have difficulties, so he still chose to believe him.
After a few months, Li Qiang's small restaurant was facing closure due to poor capital turnover, and he hid it from his wife, worried, and his mouth was in a hurry.
found Wang Lei again, hoping that he could repay the loan, this meeting, Wang Lei looked very embarrassed, he kept apologizing, saying that he really can't come up with the money to repay the debt, but promised to find a way to solve it as soon as possible.
I'm really sorry, I really can't come up with the money to pay off the debt at the moment, but trust me, I'll find a way to solve it as soon as possible. ”
Time passed, Wang Lei still showed no sign of repaying the loan, and Li Qiang's restaurant was in trouble because of financial problems, and business was getting worse and worse.
When his wife found out, she quarreled with him, saying that if she couldn't get the money back, she wouldn't have to live.
Li Qiang had to urge Wang Lei to repay the money many times, but the other party always found various excuses to delay, and gradually, the relationship between the two became more and more tense because of this loan.
In the end, after the stalemate, Li Qiang decided to protect his rights and interests through legal channels, and after some twists and turns, Li Qiang finally got back his loan. But the financial dispute wiped out years of friendship between the two.
So, don't lend money to someone easily, even if the other person is your friend, have a clear understanding of the other person's financial situation and the purpose of borrowing, and don't make decisions blindly because of emotions.
Sometimes, what seems to be a well-intentioned act to help others through difficult times can bring endless trouble and loss to yourself.
Zhang Jing and Li Na have been neighbors for many years, and the two have always had a good relationship.
Zhang Jing works within the system, working 9 to 5 and has more free time, while Li Na is a housewife, and the two often go to the supermarket to buy groceries together.
One day, Li Na hurriedly found Zhang Jing, hoping that she could do her a favor.
It turned out that her husband had been busy until late at night due to work transfers recently, and there was a banquet in his hometown that needed Li Na to go back to help.
The elderly mother-in-law who lived with them during this period needed someone to help take care of her.
Zhang Jing listened to Li Na's request, a little hesitant, although she was willing to help, but she had never taken care of the elderly, and she didn't know how to start.
Sister Na, I'm willing to help you, but I really don't know much about taking care of the elderly, and I'm afraid I won't be able to do it well. Zhang Jing said frankly.
Li Na listened to Zhang Jing's words and was a little unhappy: "Just go and see it from time to time, you can help, anyway, you have nothing to do after work." Zhang Jing listened to Li Na's words and felt a little uncomfortable.
She felt that Li Na was a little disrespectful of her opinion, and this favor was beyond her ability, but considering the relationship between the two, Zhang Jing finally agreed to Li Na's request.
However, things are not as simple as Zhang Jing imagined, taking care of the elderly is not just as simple as feeding, laundry, and cleaning.
The physical condition and psychological needs of the elderly need to be carefully cared for and paid attention to.
In the first few days, Zhang Jing could barely cope, but as time went on, she found herself more and more overwhelmed. One day, the old man's condition suddenly deteriorated and he needed to be rushed to the hospital.
Zhang Jing was in a hurry, not knowing what to do, and in the end, it was Li Na's husband who rushed home to solve the problem.
After this incident, Zhang Jing felt deep guilt and self-blame, and she realized that she should not easily agree to things that were beyond her ability.
In the days that followed, Zhang Jing admitted that she was powerless and asked Li Na to ask professional nursing staff to take care of the elderly.
Although Li Na was a little reluctant, she couldn't force her neighbors, and finally asked for a nurse, but the relationship between the two faded from then on.
Since then, Zhang Jing has learned that when helping others, you must do what you can.
Carefully assess whether your own ability and experience are sufficient to respond to the other party's request, and do not exceed your own ability.
Xiao Li and Xiao Zhang are good friends who grew up together, and the two have a very close relationship.
Xiao Zhang works in finance in a company, Xiao Li works as a small contract foreman in a construction company, and Xiao Li has recently encountered a problem.
He found that some of the company's accounts were problematic, but after reporting to the company, the boss told him to leave it alone.
In line with the heart of not the boss as an employee, he also pretended not to know about it, after all, he can't be blamed if something goes wrong.
But recently, the boss approached him and asked him to make the company's accounts more beautiful.
The boss said: "Xiao Li, you also know that our company's accounts are a little irregular, you spend some time and find someone to adjust these accounts to make them more in line with financial regulations." ”
This is actually making fake accounts, which makes Xiao Li feel very embarrassed.
But the boss said meaningfully: "Xiao Li, you have been working in our company for so many years, I know your value and contribution to the company, and I will not let you suffer." ”
Xiao Li is in a dilemma, it is illegal to make false accounts, but if he refuses, and he is afraid that the leader will give him small shoes, and now it is not easy to find a job, and if he leaves the company, what should he do with the living expenses of his family?
As a last resort, Xiao Li found Xiao Zhang and asked him to cooperate with the accounting. After Xiao Zhang heard this request, he felt a little unsure, he knew that it was illegal to make false accounts, and if it was discovered, he would face serious legal consequences.
I also know that this is not right, but I am old and young, and I can't live after leaving the company, please help me, I haven't asked you for anything for so many years, just this time, help. Xiao Li's words were close and his face was sad.
For the sake of Xiao Li being his good friend, Xiao Zhang reluctantly agreed.
He said to Xiao Li: "I can help you with this favor, but you have to promise that this time, it is illegal to make false accounts, and if it is discovered, we will both suffer." ”
Xiao Li swore that it was only this time, so Xiao Zhang helped him make a fake account.
He used his professional skills to help Li cover up the company's financial problems and make the accounts look more compliant, and Li was grateful for Zhang's help and thought he had a good friend he could trust.
Seeing his friend's non-stop thanks, Xiao Li thought: "Maybe I'm thinking too much, and I shouldn't be so lucky." ”
However, the good times did not last long, and soon after, someone reported that Xiao Zhang's company had made false accounts, and the police came to the door, investigated Xiao Zhang, and finally involved Xiao Li.
During the investigation, both Zhang and Li behaved very unnaturally, which made the police even more suspicious, and eventually, the police found evidence of false accounts in Zhang and Li's computers.
Zhang and Li were taken away, they faced severe legal sanctions, and during the interrogation, Zhang regretted it very much.
He realized that he shouldn't have done illegal acts in order to help Xiao Li in the first place, he thought he was just doing his friend a favor, but he didn't expect to bring such serious consequences to himself.
In the end, Xiao Zhang and Xiao Li were punished by the law, and their futures and lives were greatly affected.
This story teaches us that it is very dangerous to help others do illegal things.
While we may want to help others for a variety of reasons, we must be aware of legal issues when it comes to them.
Breaking the law will not only have serious consequences for ourselves, but also harm those we want to help.
In interpersonal communication, we should stick to the bottom line of the law and not make unwise choices for the sake of momentary righteousness.
At the same time, this story also reminds us to always be vigilant and not to take other people's words lightly.
Sometimes we may let our guard down because of who the other person is or who they are, but this often leads us to make the wrong decisions.
At all times, we should keep a clear head and carefully analyze the pros and cons and consequences of things, only in this way can we avoid making bad decisions and protect ourselves and those around us.
To sum up, the proverb "help others three times, bad luck is riddled with bad luck" warns us to carefully choose the way and content of help in interpersonal communication.
Be cautious when helping others and don't make unwise choices in order to cater to others, otherwise you will not only fail to solve the problem, but will bring more trouble and trouble to yourself and others.
At the same time, we should adhere to the bottom line of the law and professional ethics, and avoid being kidnapped by others to do illegal and criminal things.
Only in this way can we build healthy, stable relationships and create a bright future for ourselves and those around us!