Human weakness: Seeing that others are better than yourself?
A few days ago, Lu Kewen shared a personal experience of himself. In 2006, he often submitted articles to magazines and met an editor who often praised him as a creative talent who would surely be known for his writing.
She even ** how many loyal readers Lu Kewen will have in the future, telling him to write well. Later, in 2019, he was indeed known to everyone for writing current affairs articles, as she said, so he went to her to express his gratitude.
However, the editor suddenly changed his mind and sneered that she had never said those words of encouragement to him, and that it was just his fiction. Lu Kewen was surprised but also understood, after all, the editor's situation was not good: she moved from a first-tier city to a third-tier city, experienced divorce, remarriage and childbirth, and now her job income has dropped significantly.
He reflects that if you mix well and your old friends don't, you should avoid being in their world because it can make them feel stressed and upset.
People have a strong sense of self-esteem, and it is difficult to accept if a companion in reality surpasses oneself. So, we need to be humble and low-key and not show off our achievements.
Lukevin's experience reveals a general human weakness: people often don't see people of their level doing better than themselves. So, why is there such a mentality?
Can we avoid this?
The lack of self-awareness makes us feel powerless in the face of the success of others, because the gap between our ideals and our reality is too great for us to balance. Parents' expectations may make children feel inferior to other children's children, but this will only hurt children's self-esteem because they need to be accepted unconditionally in order to be their true selves and have the motivation to improve.
Role models are not to be seen only when they are fully accepted and deeply loved, but in a person whose false self is judged by external standards, it is difficult to see.
They are sensitive to the turmoil of the outside world and cannot calmly accept the success of those around them. They may choose to flee to preserve their self-esteem rather than face reality and change their situation.
It takes a lot of courage to change your perception and face reality, and the process is not easy. It requires objective analysis of causes, dealing with painful emotions of frustration, repeated attempts with new ideas, developing the ability to act, waiting for the right moment, and at the same time requiring tenacity and luck.
Instead of enduring so much pain to be reborn, it is better to lie down and accept the status quo and form an alliance with others in the same situation.
A girl's atypical path to revenge I once read a story about a girl who left the city to start a business in order to get revenge on her ex-boyfriend who betrayed her. A few years later, she became a well-known female boss in the industry, and her life level and contact circle have improved several levels.
And the ex-boyfriend is getting worse and worse because he is too dependent on his father-in-law's resources. The girl appeared in his life at the right time, she chose to be with him again, took him to various celebrity gatherings, and arranged for him to become a director of the company.
However, the girl's revenge does not stop at the material level. She abruptly said goodbye without saying goodbye, leaving her ex-boyfriend struggling in the abyss of life. This story reminds me of Liu Bing in the TV series "The Way of Heaven", who went to the abyss of mental terminal illness because of greed.
This proves once again that money and fame are a test for people, and not everyone can pass it. Therefore, we should cherish the people around us who have already obtained this, and do not throw this test in front of them easily.
Although the hero's hometown did not welcome him, this phenomenon is not uncommon. In our lives, sometimes we show our success and happiness, thinking that we can get the blessings of others, but we don't know that everyone has their own life difficulties, and some people may still be experiencing great difficulties, but they bear it silently and do not say it publicly.
If we always flaunt our happiness and success, will it irritate them and make them feel more miserable in the stark contrast? It is normal for us to feel jealous and resentful when we see the success of those around us.
But should we reflect on whether we are envious of what they have, or are we unhappy with our current situation? Either way, this anger only consumes our own energy and has no other benefits.
Everyone who goes up should understand that the higher up a person goes, the fewer friends and the more lonely they become. The hero's hometown people did not welcome him, it was just a necessary way for him to grow up.
I hope to work with more women to "see all beings, see heaven and earth, and see themselves" and discover the true meaning of life. Thank you all for your attention, I will bring more wonderful articles!