As an experienced mother-in-law and grandmother, I would like to share some experiences with my grandchildren. I've found that it's either not meddled or financially supported, or it might not be helpful to worry about it.
A few years ago, I had just retired, and my son called** to say that his wife was pregnant and that her morning sickness was severe and that he wanted me to take care of her.
At first, I was reluctant to go. Because I know that morning sickness, although uncomfortable, usually only lasts for a month or two, and it will pass after a while. Also, the son's father-in-law and mother-in-law in their community are also there, and I think they should be able to help their daughter.
But the son explained that his father-in-law and mother-in-law were very busy with work and ate at work every day, so they had no time to take care of pregnant women. I thought about it, and I was relatively idle at home, so I packed my bags and went to my son's house alone.
In order to ensure that my daughter-in-law can get enough nutrients, I go to great lengths to cook all kinds of delicious food for her. Naturally, I am also responsible for all the housework. My daughter-in-law was a little embarrassed to see that I was so busy and offered to help with the cooking, but how could I let her cook? She is the focus of our family's attention.
My son has always been a lazy person, and even more so since I came to his house. He refused to do the housework, and his clothes and shoes were thrown everywhere, and it was useless for me to blame him. He always used work as an excuse, saying that the day's work was tiring enough, and the home should be a place to relax.
I tried to get him to change, but over time I realized that he was really stressful at work. So I stopped forcing him to do the housework and took it on silently. After all, housework is hard, but it's not fatal.
My daughter-in-law has a strong reaction to pregnancy, but she is never a picky eater and she eats happily in whatever I do. But my son is always picky and always finds problems when eating, which upsets me. Although I wanted to get angry, I was afraid of affecting my daughter-in-law's emotions.
After the birth of the grandson, the son's temper became worse and worse. My grandson often cries, and when he comes home, he keeps a straight face, and sometimes blames us two adults for not taking good care of a small child. Although I felt very uncomfortable, I didn't have a seizure because my daughter-in-law was also at home and I didn't want to embarrass her.
With the end of her daughter-in-law's maternity leave, she started to work, but her son's complaints did not decrease. No matter what discomfort my grandson had, he always blamed me. I am very aggrieved, obviously I am taking care of it with my heart, but my grandson's physique is really not good, and I can't do anything.
Finally, I offered to send my grandson to kindergarten and said that I would go back to my hometown. The son was silent, while the daughter-in-law said yes because her mother was about to retire.
Last year, because of the epidemic, we all celebrated the New Year separately. This year, my daughter-in-law proposed that my wife and my in-laws also come to our house, and the whole family would have a Chinese New Year's Eve dinner together. I like to cook, but the Chinese New Year's Eve dinner has to be carefully prepared, not to mention that the in-laws also come, so there is no shame. When I asked my daughter-in-law whether she was cooking at home or going out, my son said that she must eat at home, and the taste was the most important.
My grandson is almost 3 years old, and I have just come home from work, thinking that it is rare for the three families to get together, I began to prepare, and even bought a steamer and an electric baking pan. The two in-laws came and loved their grandson, so I chatted with them and guided my grandson to perform. My son pulled me aside and said don't join in the fun, go cook. I didn't want to spoil everyone, so I went to the kitchen.
After a while, my son looked for his phone and blamed me for hiding. I said I didn't see it, and he got angry and went to look for it, and it turned out that he had put it under the bedside table by himself.
When my son saw the missed call from the boss of the company, he became angry and blamed me for putting the ** in the wrong position, which made me feel very embarrassed. I tried to ease the atmosphere, saying that I might have accidentally bumped into **, but this kind of behavior of hitting ** during the Chinese New Year is really a bit inappropriate. My son refused to give up, and even accused me of ignorance and asked me to pay attention to the details of tidying up.
The in-laws sensed that their son's attitude was wrong, so they simply retreated to the balcony with their little grandson. My wife also came forward to reprimand my son, asking him to respect me and not lose his temper. I swallowed my anger, after all, it was a holiday, and I didn't want to fall out because of it.
However, my son refused to stop, still thinking that I had accidentally delayed his affairs, and even complained loudly in front of his family. This aroused anger in my heart, and I rushed into the living room, slapped my son twice, angrily accusing him of not respecting me, and pointing fingers at me.
My anger could not be appeased, and I decided to leave this ignorant son. I took off my apron, grabbed my phone, and walked straight out of the house. My mother-in-law called** and my son apologized to me, but I had made up my mind that I would no longer want to put up with his disrespect and vexatiousness.