The first step in life is to go against social emotions

WeChat***Zhiqu (ID: liuzhiqu7788), author: Liu Zhiqu, title picture from: Visual China Social **The value trend seems to be gradually becoming "outrageous" and "scary".

First, someone sued Mo Yan for 1.5 billion yuan, on the grounds that he accused the old man of creating a number of ** content suspected of "smearing martyrs", and even launched a vote on Weibo, and the number of people who supported the prosecution was five times the number of people who opposed it;

Then Dong Yuhui was scolded on the hot search for being ashamed to talk about "women's underwear" in the live broadcast room, so he emptied Weibo in a fit of anger.

Dong Yuhui called his act of emptying Weibo nothing more than "the anger of the horseman" and "Ah Q-style spiritual victory".

The world shouldn't be like this, I can't understand it at all, so I can't accept it.

I'm not wrong, why should I throw in the towel? I couldn't solve this problem, so I had to instinctively flee.

And the last person who had a similar experience and also signaled "leaving" in the way of "stopping" was the law professor Luo Xiang, who had a very charismatic personality. ‍‍

I'm not anyone's fan, and I don't have the habit of placing orders in the live broadcast room, and even in the past for a while, I was disgusted by frequently seeing the news of the same person, but I can more or less understand that when the public's social emotions are out of control, the parties have to "escape" as a last resort.

I still remember last year, I wrote an article that was a little out of the circle, and then I accidentally swiped this article in Xiaohongshu and was recommended by a blogger, and there was a comment in the comment area with a very high number of likes, probably saying that the author is a person who has read sociology for several years, can't eat enough in reality, and tries to cut leeks by writing this......Some old readers argued for me, but I didn't expect the comments to get longer and longer, and ...... more and more intenseI couldn't help but click in to refresh it almost every half an hour, and found that the more I watched, the more I looked at it, the more I looked at it, so I simply canceled the collection and stopped reading it.

For a long time in the past, the hot searches on social ** have been full of all kinds of sensationalism and out-of-context, and there are always some people who distort the facts and engage in confrontation because of ignorance, or for the sake of traffic, and can always get a considerable number of people to echo and follow, which makes the general public's emotions uneasy. ‍

Of course, there are human complexities, but perhaps due to the global economic recession in recent years, people's needs such as employment and asset growth have not been met, and they will want to relieve their inner pain by "going crazy".

In this way, many things naturally make sense. Moderate social emotional catharsis is also necessary, but excessive social emotions are the end of the catastrophe for ordinary people, because what the people who substitute for it no longer want facts and truths have long been released, but only that the emotions at that moment can be infinitely released.

It's just that even if such emotions are satisfied again and again by people like Mi Meng and Li Yizhou, it is not conducive to the real progress of ordinary individuals' lives. Perhaps the first step to a better life is to be able to go against social emotions in a timely manner and not be pushed by such emotions.

1. Stay sober in social emotions

I don't know if you have found such a rule, as long as you say on the Internet, "the middle class is laid off", "the middle class sells houses", "the middle class financial management is cut leeks", everything points to the "middle class" miserable topics, it can always have a good flow, and this kind of content is undoubtedly to satisfy the pleasure of people who want to watch a group of people "get up a tall building, feast guests, and then the building collapses".

But this is not the case in realityThe middle class, whose lives have really become so embarrassed, does not make up a high proportion of the group, and most people just spend money less lavistly than before.

Because the middle class generally has received higher education, and is engaged in relatively cutting-edge industries such as finance and the Internet, their information channels are naturally more and faster.

And once the middle class calculates in terms of spending money, it is even much more savvy than ordinary people. ‍

Therefore, for ordinary people, they should not be taken by such emotions, do not think or expect their wallets to be deflated and they can be the same as themselves, but should find a way to make their purse bulge as soon as possible. ‍‍

For another example, the topic of "losing to the county middle class in the past ten years" that was enthusiastically discussed by the public some time ago has raised the "county middle class" to an unprecedented height.

But as long as you think about it carefully, you will find that such a conclusion is almost untenable at all, except that it makes those who go to Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou to work hard feel unfair, dissatisfied, and unworthy.

If we were both born in the county, and the other party himself belonged to the "hometown of the clan Wangliu", then there is no comparison between me and him, and we are not in the same game, so there is no talk of winning or losing. ‍‍

But if the other party is also from an ordinary family like me, if there is no God-given good luck, most of us are on par, and it is likely that I will make more money than him.

This reminds me of the first two years of the Spring Festival in my hometown of the third-tier city in northern Anhui, when the family had a little spare money and wanted to invest in the local business, so I learned from a very close "successful person" in the family, "big brother" entity entrepreneurship for 20 years, serving high-end people, doing national projects, with an annual output value of over 100 million, I remember very clearly, what he said at the time was: "I know xx (local) rich people, None of the money was earned on xx (locally). ”‍

It is an objective fact that small cities do not have as many opportunities to make money as large cities. Therefore, no matter what the social orientation is, when we make our own decisions, we should maintain a sober and independent attitude, and dig deep into the objective facts and laws behind it, after all, once we are led astray by emotions, the final bitter fruit has to be borne by ourselves.

2. Losing control of emotions is a loss to yourself.

Of course, this is not to say that we should not discuss and have emotions in the face of social ** topics, and I have always firmly believed that requiring a person to always be emotionally stable is a false proposition in itself.

Because as long as you are a human being, you will have a temper and a character, and there will be happy and unhappy. And those who are extremely emotionally stable, the other side of him may also be emotional indifference and numbness.

But as we all knowIf a person is unable to manage his emotions well, it will directly affect his perception and judgment of the outside worldIt's like wearing a pair of shackles on your body, and it's always easy to be incomplete and biased in your actions.

Therefore, how to do a good job in emotional management is a particularly important proposition.

Here I will share the methods taught by Mr. Feng Tang, which I think are very effective and very simple. It is that we should establish an awareness and an awakening that pain and discomfort are not taken for granted.

Anything that makes me feel angry, upset, and sad is a disservice to myself.

Because as long as you feel uncomfortable and angry, once such emotions appear, the outcome must be a lose-lose situation, not only for yourself to lose, but also for yourself and around you to bring a lot of very negative effects. ‍‍

In most cases, we can't change our origins, genes, and life circumstances, and when we jump out of our own perspective to observe the "me" in the mood, we will find that many bad emotions have nothing to do with us and are powerless, and they appear unreasonable.

Life is too short, let yourself go and experience it as much as you can.

In the process,First, don't be afraid, because fear will make you lose a lot of initiative and become a weak party with no choice; The second is not to be greedy, the thinking of "both wants and wants" can easily put yourself in danger. If you can do these two things, you can effectively avoid a lot of troubles and emotions that should not exist.

Third, success is the last word

Over the years, people have always been accustomed to immersing themselves in a pessimistic social mood created by **, firmly believing that the general environment is not good, so they feel "lost" in their hearts, and then choose to "lie flat".

It is undeniable that the development of the individual is indeed inseparable from the rise and fall of the times. As long as you are self-consistent in your own heart, any choice that does not harm yourself and others is understandable and should be respected.

But don't "lie flat" while thinking that you should "do something", and then the whole person falls into a very screwed state.

So it's important to figure out what you want, if you want an idea for a while, you want to want it, and you can't figure out what you want, then God wants to reach out and pull you and don't know where your hand is.

For ordinary people, if they don't want to be ambitious, but just want to simply accomplish something and get a little sense of accomplishment from it, then now is the best time to act. ‍‍

This recognition comes from Lan Xiaohuan, an associate professor at the School of Economics of Fudan University, at the end of the book "Staying in the Matter: China's ** and Economic Development":

Born in 1980, I grew up in a small border town in Inner Mongolia, and have lived in Beijing, Dalian, Shanghai, Shenzhen, and Wuhan for a long time.

Although I could write a few more books about the problems and troubles I have seen, my experience and experience make me pessimistic about China.

I can analyze and elaborate on this optimism with many theories, but fundamentally, my optimism does not need to be supported by the logic of these heads, it is a simple belief that China will be better.

This belief does not stem from academic training, but from Sima Qian, Du Fu, and Su Shi, from "a big river with wide waves", and from admiration for the hard work of the Chinese.

It has affected the way I look at things and the way I process information, and I accept this limitation with no intention of changing.

Get rid of social emotional orientation and realize that it's better to be fearful, greedy, and successful than to be greedySteadfastly on every step of the road and doing as many things as possible is the "shortcut" that can make an ordinary person's life continue to improve.

WeChat***知趣學 (ID: liuzhiqu77888), author: Liu Zhiqu This content is the author's independent point of view and does not represent the position of Tiger Sniff. Do not do without permission**, please contact hezuo@huxiu for authorizationcom

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