04 Who am I missing my ID card?
For Li Li, Mr. A is not only the object of her love, but also her ideal self-presentation. Although Chen Zhen and Li Li have an ID card, it is only a business card that can indicate both her former and current names. Then what is conveyed here is not a physical ID card, but a symbol of the main identity at the spiritual level, which can prove that Chen Zhen is Mr. A's lover, something similar to a marriage certificate.
Li Li said that "Mr. A is all I have", which is a metaphor for Mr. A's desire as a great other, satisfying Chen Zhen's all-powerful narcissistic empathy. When Mr. A died, it meant the loss of Chen Zhen's ideal self, that is, her entire value, so Mr. A, the object of love, and Chen Zhen, who lived with him, also died. Li Li is Chen Zhen who died and was reborn, but he must survive as a non-self "Li Li". Why? Because the greatest pain of human beings is the loss of their loved ones. And if there is a pathological narcissist who suffers the loss of the object of love, it is indeed a fatal wound.
Ah Bao prophesied Li Li: You can't go back to Chen Zhen, there is no way back but to turn back into Mr. A. It's poisonous, but to the point. Because Mr. A and Chen Zhen represent the true love, and also represent an eternal wound in the real world, she can cover or pretend not to touch the fatal wound by her existence as "Li Li".
But Bao's cruel words were considered by her to be "not a retreat, but a remembrance and faith". Triggering us to look at it from Lacan's point of view: Mr. A, who lives in Li Li's heart, is supported and supported by the desires of others. In other words, Li Li's retreat is Mr. A, and she wants to live out the abilities and values that Mr. A has given her. Therefore, she is desperate to construct the Garden of Truth, not because she wants to make money, but because she needs to deal with or mourn the trauma, a model, a process. Later, she gave up to Zhizhenyuan, which is a metaphor for the possibility of Li Li getting out of the trauma. At this moment, I would like to express the importance of this delicate point of view: everyone in life will encounter all kinds of loss, and all kinds of mourning rituals and mourning processes are of great significance to healing.
Retreat, the home of the main body
Many places involve "leaving a way out for yourself", such an ultimate problem, if it only refers to the safe way to prevent investment or business risks, it is inevitably thin. The essence of the retreat path should be the ability of people to survive and grow in the face of adversity and despair, and it contains things that belong to free will, what is it? I think it should be something that can soothe the soul of the subject, such as a belief, an interest, a pursuit, a sense of belonging, and so on.
Let's take Po as an example. As the saying goes, shopping malls are like battlefields, and opportunities are the way out and retreat. However, Ah Bao repeatedly refused his uncle's efforts to obtain "foreign trade orders" for him and other retreats, and also denied that Li Li's suggestion that "Zhizhenyuan" could be his retreat. He always responded: My retreat is Bao.
So Po, what does it mean, why is it a way out?
Whether it is the original book or film and television works, Bao's surname is omitted, does this imply that there is no Po in reality, just as there is no Wukong. Because of the corner of Bao, it cannot simply be said that he has the mentality of being able to take it and put it down, but has the extraordinary ability to turn around and survive in a desperate situation. Even if there is Po in reality, it is not an ordinary person, but an idol in the hearts of ordinary people, and narcissistic objects, such as Buffett and Gates, for the general public, it is only the object of desire in Lacan's concept.
The practical significance of Bao's image lies in the fact that people must establish and develop a lot of new selves from childishness to mature subjects, and if they want to achieve a career, they must not only pay and work hard, but also help others. Just as Bao can always have "today", fortunately there are uncles, Lingzi, Miss Chen and other relationships to help. But fundamentally, the foundation of human beings is cognition and ability. From this point of view, to understand why Bao insists that "my retreat is Bao", it should refer to:The so-called status, wealth and glory. They are all flashy egos, only simple, kind, free and uninhibited. It's who you are. Undoubtedly, this true self is a kind of personality strength, the only reliable retreat for the subject, no matter where it is, it is like its own safe and warm home. If there is a realistic version of Bao, it must be the object of desire that the man ** wants to find.
On the road of emotion, Ah Bao has a knot in his heart (this article does not intend to talk about it deeply), from the relationship between Ah Bao and several women, it can be seen that Xuezhi is his first love and his eternal object of love, even if he loves in the imagination, it is also a kind of comfort. He may be the only woman who can alleviate and dilute the hidden pain of losing love (object) in the world of symbols.
Miss Chen, who has a deep affection for Po, is simple and enthusiastic. After experiencing the frustration of reality, she found that whether it was emotion or a sense of value, Po was not her retreat. It is precisely because of the frustration and impact of reality that she can break her illusions of love and existence. It should be said that it was reality that gave her a sober self-understanding. When she matures, she can (laughing proudly) and shout out from the bottom of her heart - goodbye to the rivers and lakes! That is the retreat that belongs to her-Xiao Chen.
Similarly, Po is not Reiko's retreat. Reiko's feelings for Po are deep and restrained. Towards the end of the story of flowers, she said in a choked voiceThe reason why I didn't leave was to confirm that he (Po) had something to do with my lucky charm today. The restrained tears and poignant choking of the words that she had been loving, waiting for the object of her love to respond to the frustration were undoubtedly a loss of narcissistic illusion. Because of Reiko's own independent and introverted personality, she can keenly smell Po's love elsewhere, and she can also pack up her feelings and return to her maverick self.
The above arguments include the example that when Miss Chen leaves No. 27 Foreign Trade Building, she is no longer Miss Chen but Xiao Chen...and other phenomena, which are very apt for us to see Lacan's sharpness: the subject is desire, and the subject is nothing but a symbolic identity constructed by symbolic relations. When they lose their identity, they lose their existence. Therefore, the desires of a person's life are chasing the desires of others that can never be satisfied, and only becauseChaseto feel worthy. I seek, therefore I am.
It is worth thinking about: when the cruelty of reality hits, when life is in trouble, what is your way out? Can you reconcile the conflict with yourself? This is tantamount to asking, do I have the strength of personality? In real life, there are indeed too many personality problems, the so-called glass-hearted people, they are often deep in love, hateful, crazy in love, and depressed. But most of them are deluded by self-illusions, enslaved by self-desires without knowing it. This is a kind of narcissistic disorder, when life is faced with loss or change, there is no way back. Because being loved and recognized is the only way for the subject to retreat, and if he loses them, he will also lose his identity and value, and he will inevitably become narcissistic and angry.
As far as human fate is concerned, the real cruelty is not reality, but the inner weakness. Therefore, we should face up to the fact that people are prone to indulge in self-illusions, afraid of touching the unconscious, and even afraid of acknowledging the weakness of the self. And the saying "character determines destiny" is well understood and credible, so it is necessary for us to emphasize: know yourself and grow a personality strength that can be settled. To put it simply, a mature character is an ability, a home that feels like a retreat no matter where you are, the subject.