Having these 4 types of mothers at home is not conducive to the growth of children
The famous German educator Frügh Pell said:
"The fate of the nation is not so much in the hands of those in power as in the hands of mothers. ”
In any family, the role of the mother is irreplaceable, and her influence on the child is obvious and lasts for a lifetime.
The growth of children is also a mother, and the failure is also a mother.
The mother's personality will inevitably affect the child's growth, especially these kinds of mothers, which may delay the child's life.
Grumpy motherIn an interview with younger children, children were asked the question: What do you least want your mother to do?
Some children replied that they hoped that their mothers would not go to work; Some children replied that they wanted their mothers to buy me toys; One of the most common responses was:
I hope my mom doesn't lose her temper at me.
Many people recall their childhood, and what impresses them the most is not what rewards they received, not what amusement parks they went to, but what their mothers yelled at them.
How many times have I told you not to leave things around, don't you have long ears? ”
Why are you so disobedient? I shouldn't have given birth to you in the first place! ”
The child who has been scolded and yelled at since he was a child is like a garbage can, forced to accept all the emotions and negative energy of his mother.
Staying by their mother's side, they were accustomed to being cautious, curling up as soon as her mother lost her temper and fending off the incoming injuries with her thorns.
Zhu Chaoyang and single mother Zhou Chunhong in "The Hidden Corner" have such a relationship.
Because of her misfortune, she asked her son to hate the man who brought her misfortune, but Zhu Chaoyang is just a child, he still yearns for father's love and longs to be close to his father.
This angered Zhou Chunhong, she became hysterical, and lost her temper at her son at every turn.
The most impressive scene is the scene where she feeds her son milk, and his son is too hot to drink slowly, but she forcefully pours the milk into his mouth.
"Do you blame Mom for not taking care of you? ”
Under Zhou Chunhong's toughness and paranoia, Zhu Chaoyang gradually became cold and cruel, and stepped into the abyss step by step.
The biggest piece of advice for parents in this TV series is:Don't let your child be your emotional trash can.
Regardless of the mother's attitude, all irresponsible emotional catharsis can cause irreversible damage to the child.
A mother who dotes on her childA few days ago, something happened in the community.
A boy was playing in the garden and while throwing a plastic ball hit an aunt who was passing by, the aunt was angry and went to his mother to reason.
The boy's mother casually scolded the child a few words, and then said to the aunt:He's just a kid, don't worry too much about him
The aunt was so angry that she turned around and left.
The next day, the boy was throwing stones, and sharp stones smashed the head of the little girl in the neighborhood, and the family panicked and put the girl in an ambulance.
The boy's mother is still reluctant to scold the child, she is just complaining about how much medical expenses she has to pay.
A mother who dotes on her children will only raise a selfish, willful, and arrogant "bear child".
Professor Li Meijin, a well-known parenting expert, said:Whether a child is upbringing or not has a lot to do with the mother.
Some mothers dot on their children, but they can't grasp the bottom line, not only conniving at their children's misdeeds, but also covering up all his mistakes.
The child doesn't understand anything, he thinks that it really doesn't matter if his mother says "it's okay", he thinks that his mother can continue to talk nonsense if he doesn't criticize him.
The child becomes bad little by little, and it is inseparable from the mother's doting day by day.
Not long ago, an extremely bad case of mother-killing occurred in Shangrao, Jiangxi: a 21-year-old man killed his mother who had raised him for many years because his mother did not give him pocket money.
Afraid that his brother's crying would attract the attention of his neighbors, he pressed his 12-year-old younger brother into the basin and drowned him alive!
Such a scumbag, killing his mother and killing his brother, has no humanity and is terrifying.
Shakespeare said, "An ungrateful child is more painful than the teeth of a viper." ”
Spoiled children only know how to blindly take, and they will never learn to be grateful.
The mother's doting will make the child uneducated, and the child will have no future.
It is better to raise children in poverty and rich, than to let children have education.
To educate a well-educated, principled, and knowledgeable child, it is necessary for the mother not to spoil, not to indulge, and not to protect her shortcomings.
Self-sacrificing momA netizen on Zhihu asked: What should I do if my mother loves self-sacrifice too much?
She said that she loves to eat chicken legs, but every time she eats, her mother will say, I won't eat this chicken leg, leave it to you, I will eat chicken neck.
It made her feel very guilty, and she didn't eat it, and she didn't eat it.
Some netizens in the comment area replied:
To claim that self-sacrifice is great is a lie of self-deception.The excessive sacrifice of the mother is not love, it is an unbearable burden for the child. Many people say that the sorrow of Chinese-style parents gives them all, but they can't raise children who know how to be grateful.Parents devaluing themselves do not ennoble their children.
I can only learn from you, "I'm not worth it".
However, this kind of giving is that the Chinese mother is accustomed to using self-sacrifice to force the child to feel guilty, so as to do what the mother asks.
What's more terrifying than violence is "Mom does this for you".
Mothers sacrifice themselves because of their children, put all their thoughts on their children, and do not have their own spirit and pursuits, which is creating huge mental pressure and psychological burden on children.
Your child is not your child, you are not his only one, and he cannot be forced to treat you as the only one.
In "The Boy Says", the boy thanked his mother for his dedication and confessed in public:
Mom, I beg you! Make up for your body and buy a few better clothes.The mother couldn't cry in the audience, but told the child:I can cook for myself, buy groceries, manage my own studies, and I don't envy those rich classmates, because I know that I have a mother who loves me very much!
Others think I'm having a hard time, but in fact, my mother is not hard at all, because my mother has you.Children are never an accessory of their parents, and raising a child who is responsible for themselves is more important than anything else. A mom who loves to compareTalking to the neighbor's mother is nothing more than the child's learning and education.Mom as long as you remember,You are a happy bird, you don't belong to me, you belong to yourself, you belong to the blue skyAll right?
She said that her son had just won a prize in a math competition, and his ranking was not low, not only in mathematics, but also in English.
She often goes out to participate in speech contests on behalf of the school, and the midterm exam is approaching, and she promises her son that if he takes the first place in the class, she will take him to travel abroad ......
Then the topic changed, how is your child studying lately?
When I think of my son, who loves basketball more than studying, and who loves to use his hands more than he loves to write, I am speechless and choked.
I don't want to fight with her, not because I'm afraid of losing face, but because I don't want her to find fault with my son, who is the best in my eyes.
Like her, many mothers like to compare their children with others.
His children are excellent, no matter how he goes, he is decent, and he is full of pride and pride when he talks to others;
My own child is not excellent, I put a high hat on my child in front of others, and count my child down when I get home.
Children are never a tool for comparison, and every child who is compared has doubted his mother's love for him.
A mother who loves face too much compares her children, her husband, her family, and even her usual food and clothing.
Once you feel that you are inferior to others, you will have bad emotions, and these emotions will directly affect the child.
There is a sky outside the sky, and there are people outside the world, if the mother can't keep a normal heart, it will make the child care too much about the gains and losses.
After all, when he was growing up, he kept comparing himself with others, and he kept listening to his mother compare himself with others, and he would pay more attention to others than to himself.
The child is prone to become sensitive, becomes inferior, and never feels a little happy under the pressure of years and months.
Every child is a unique flower in the world, as a parent, we should help our children explore their strengths and strengths, and guide them to grow up healthier and happier.