I took my mother home to serve, and after staying for 3 days, I finally understood why my sister-in-law hated her.
I've always been a straightforward person, and I do have some opinions about my sister-in-law.
It stands to reason that as a sister-in-law, I shouldn't have been too involved in the trivial affairs of my mother's family, but these things are closely related to my mother. Seeing that my sister-in-law is not only inconsiderate, but also has an excessive attitude when dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, I feel dissatisfied.
Every time I went back to my parents' house, my mother always found an opportunity to confide in me, tearfully talking about my sister-in-law's various disappointments.
Mom is so old that her ears may be a little dull, but she complains that I watch TV loudly, and even prescribes the volume of watching TV. "
Every time before the table, my sister-in-law would take out some of each dish, saying that it was unhygienic for me to rummage around the dish with chopsticks, didn't this make it clear that I disliked me? "
Your brother is busy with work, he comes home from time to time, he is so thin that he can't look good, I asked her to cook something delicious for my brother, but she refused to listen to a word, and she pestered her brother to be busy until late at night, which is really excessive. "
I was just chatting with other old ladies in the community, and she said that my mouth was too unrestrained, and blamed me for talking too much. I don't understand, when people of the same age are together, isn't it just to talk about family life? "
I have a bad heart, hummed a few words, and she said that I didn't have a heart problem at all, obviously I ate too much and couldn't digest it, so I shouldn't be so greedy. "
Every family has a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law problem, but one is my own mother and the other is my sister-in-law, and I know the balance in my heart. Especially seeing my mother's grievances, as a daughter, of course, I can't sit idly by.
So, I found an opportunity to be alone with my sister-in-law and tried to enlighten her: "Sister-in-law, do you have some prejudices against your mother? ”
I thought she would defend herself, but she directly admitted: "Well, I do have some opinions. You haven't seen it, the old lady came up with a lot of energy, it's really unbearable. ”
Is it possible that if you had been nice to her, things wouldn't have been so bad? "I tried to make suggestions.
The sister-in-law giggled: "I haven't suffered hardship, how do you know that it's suffering, there are some things that can't be helped, not to mention that you yourself already think it's my problem, and it's useless to persuade you." You don't think I'm taking care of my mother well, so do you dare to take her back and live there for a month? ”
Her answer made me angry, and she said mercilessly: "Try something, take it back to take care of your own mother, and you won't suffer." Mom is 71 years old this year, so we should have a corresponding attitude as children. ”
My sister-in-law looked at me with affirmative eyes, gave me a thumbs up, and said earnestly: "If you don't mention the return within a month, and you can tolerate everything about her, I really admire you." If you have any suggestions in the future, I will listen to them with an open mind. Although I have been with my mother-in-law for six years and it is annoying from time to time, I still take good care of myself and feel that I am not doing badly. Now is the time for you to show filial piety. ”
This is not my sister-in-law's unfounded speculation, in fact, my mother did live in my brother's house for six years.
Once upon a time, my parents had been living in the countryside and enjoying the ease of farm life. However, six years ago, my father died of illness, leaving my mother alone.
In my hometown in the countryside, there is a tradition of "raising children to prevent old age", so I always treat my son more carefully than my daughter. The eldest brother's marriage house was funded by his parents, and the work was also arranged through the parents' funds and connections. This is only a statement of facts, not a provocation.
In order to prevent her mother from being too sad in her hometown alone, after dealing with her father's funeral, the eldest brother took her to the house. Of course, this was discussed with my sister-in-law in advance.
My sister-in-law doesn't have a formal job, but just works as a cook in a nearby restaurant. There are two children in the family, one is in high school and the other is about to graduate from college.
My brother and sister-in-law's life was originally passable, but since my mother came, it has made a lot of waves.
Her mother often complained that her sister-in-law disliked her and loved to find faults. And the sister-in-law also complained from time to time that her mother's little temper was too much and it was difficult to get along. Both of them have their own reasons.
Although my sister-in-law likes to calculate, she has left a good impression on my heart over the years. However, my mother always complained to me twice in three days, and when she talked about her sadness, she burst into tears, lamenting that she had no wife and now had to endure the anger of her son and daughter-in-law.
Therefore, the balance in my heart is always on the mother's side, believing that the problem lies with my sister-in-law.
I had just talked to my sister-in-law about something, but she deliberately provoked my emotions and wanted me to pick up my mother. I really fell for her trick, and thought: Since you want it, then I'll take it and see how filial I am to the old man.
That night, I complained to my husband about my quarrel with my sister-in-law and offered to take my mother to our house. My husband agreed without saying a word.
Our home is a three-bedroom house, and in addition to the room where our husband and wife and son live, there is also a spare bedroom that is just right for the mother to live in.
When my mother arrived, she went straight to the house with her luggage, and I quickly grabbed her and hoped that she would change her shoes before going in.
The mother looked a little impatient: "Oh, why are there so many rules, I don't bother to change my shoes at your brother's house, and your sister-in-law doesn't listen to what she says, and in the end she doesn't have to rely on me." You're my own daughter, don't make me feel uncomfortable......”
Nagging and talking a lot, I finally reluctantly changed my shoes. However, without waiting for me to assist with her luggage, she lifted her luggage and headed straight to the master bedroom.
I hurriedly took three steps and quickly grabbed her: "Mom, you know that it is the bedroom of me and Ryoko (my husband)." ”
Your brother's family is small, and he lives very aggrieved, and now that he is here, I want to change my mood, and I want to sleep in a large bedroom. The mother replied disappreciatively.
I felt a little depressed, but I still tried to reason with her: "You sleep in a big bedroom, so where are Ryoko and I going to live?" ”
My mother was silent, and after the luggage was put away, she sat down on the sofa leisurely and began to criticize me: "You have to entertain you to eat and drink when the guests come, your own mother is here, and she doesn't even give you a glass of water or fruit?" ”
I reluctantly picked up a paper cup and made tea for my mother, who glanced at it and continued to educate me: "How can there be a paper cup to make tea, you go find a big enamel jar and make me a jar of tea." ”
If it were someone else, I wouldn't have gotten used to it, but this is the mother who gave birth to me, and I have to endure it no matter what.
After a while, my husband returned. After washing his hands, he went into the bedroom to change clothes, but saw his mother's luggage piled up in the room, and thought that I had arranged it, so he pulled me aside and whispered what happened.
When I entered the house, I almost ran out of breath. Mother actually threw all the luggage on the bed, just these few woven bags, and let go of everything along the way, but now it's okay, just throw it directly on the bed.
I asked my husband to move all his luggage to the empty room, and I went straight to the living room and said to my mother: "I have moved all your things to the guest room, and I have packed up the guest room before you came, and there is nothing missing, you can live at ease." ”
My mother wiped away her tears again, blaming me for not being filial, saying that the guest room was not spacious, and I was panicked, and what made me unbearable was that she actually said that my sister-in-law and I were virtuous.
The next morning, my husband and I prepared porridge and steamed buns, and I made her egg custard to cater to my mother's taste. My mother seemed to be still in the atmosphere of yesterday, ignoring me, expressing no interest in this.
I didn't have the heart to think about it, so I finished eating in a hurry and rushed to work with my husband.
Usually we don't go home at noon, but my mother just came and didn't know anything, so I had to go to the market to buy some ingredients to go home.
As soon as I entered the house, my mother nestled on the couch and watched TV, and when she saw me coming back, she still didn't say a word.
I changed my clothes to prepare for lunch, and found that the dishes and chopsticks I used in the morning were still soaked in the pool. Moreover, she didn't do what she asked her mother to cook. I asked, "Mom, didn't I tell you in the morning, I'll come back at noon to cook, you just need to cook the meal." ”
My mother glanced up at me, and the corners of her mouth showed a touch of disdain: "I'm too lazy to move, besides, I'm not here to be a nanny for you." At such an age, I still have to listen to you? ”
I was speechless, so I had to cook it myself, and it took a lot of effort to finally bring the food to the table.
My mother yawned and walked over, glanced at the food I cooked, and said disdainfully: "This dish is so badly cooked, are you deliberately making me **?" ”
I really worked all day at work, and I was a little tired when I got home and was busy cooking. But I didn't bother to argue with my mother, I just wanted to finish eating quickly and go back to my room to rest.
But the mother didn't stop, stuffing the vegetables and asking, "Why hasn't your brother come back yet?" Do you think my old lady is here to cause trouble for him? ”
Without waiting for me to answer, she continued to mutter, "Was it his idea not to let me sleep in the master bedroom last night?" I didn't see it before, but it turns out that you husband and wife still have a lot of eyes, and you have to be careful when sleeping in a bed. ”
Stop talking nonsense, you can say a few words. I complained.
How much do you earn a month? How much is the deposit? How much are you going to use for retirement? Mother began her "three questions about the soul" again.
I faced my mother's problem and lost my appetite for a moment. Just as she was about to put down the dishes and chopsticks and go back to the room, my mother picked a piece of minced meat with a toothpick, put it on the table, smelled it, and put it back in her mouth.
I poured my mother a glass of water and said helplessly, "Wash it if you want to eat it, and put it there if you don't want to move." I need to go back to my room and get some rest, and I have to go to work in the afternoon. ”
Just about to fall asleep, the sound of the TV came. I was covered with a quilt and was about to go back to sleep, but I heard my mother snorting and saying that my stomach was upset, and that I might have accumulated food.
I couldn't get angry: "After eating so much, lie down on the sofa, young people are not easy to digest." ”
My mother was dissatisfied and said that she was uncomfortable, but I not only didn't care, but also reasoned with her. Holding back the fire, I turned my head to the side and ignored her, and my mother had to mumble away.
Two days later, when I came home, I saw the property grandson smiling at me and politely greeting me. She told me that her mother cried and said that I was raised for someone else, and complained that the food I cooked was unpalatable, and asked the property to be reviewed.
When I got home, my mother was still lying on the couch, watching TV so loudly that it was annoying. I walked over and turned off the TV, and she glared at me as if to say, "You dare to touch my TV?" ”
When my husband came back from work, I opened the door and said straightforwardly: "Mom, you weren't like this before, why are you talking about everything now?" How embarrassed I am, if this continues, I really can't tolerate you. Anyway, my sister-in-law doesn't like you, so you can go back to your hometown to live by yourself when the time comes. ”
With a snap, the mother angrily threw the remote control on the ground, and then began to cry loudly: "I said a long time ago, my children are useless, they are old and helpless, they are all disgusted with me, and they don't want to see me." What's the point of my life, it's better to go with your dad. ”
I looked distressed, and thought to myself: my mother lived in my house for 3 days, and I couldn't stand it anymore, how did they persevere when she lived at my brother's and sister-in-law's house for 6 years?
Suddenly, a sentence from my sister-in-law came to my mind: "If you don't complain for a month and can put up with her, I really admire you." ”
Now it seems that I may have misunderstood her, not that she was not good enough, but that my mother was really difficult to serve.
Thinking of this, I picked up my phone and sent a text message to my sister-in-law: "Mom has lived with me for 3 days, I have a splitting headache now, I blame you, my mother has lived with me for a while, you and my brother have a good rest, and when we calm down, we will take turns." ”
Elderly people are really difficult to deal with, have you ever encountered a similar situation in your family?