As the saying goes, "Don't think too highly of yourself unless you can't be replaced." But a lot of women don't think that way.
A few days ago, I received a fan consultation, and I was very worried about her.
The woman's own conditions are indeed good! After graduating from 985 college, she is very good and can make money, but she is very dissatisfied with her marriage.
By chance, she met a man who was in love with her, she thought she had met true love, so she cared about him very much, and hoped that this man could give him a positive answer, and after that, she divorced, but ......
Mei Niang, I have been reading your consultation answers, and I think they are very reasonable, so today I dare to tell you my story, don't laugh at me for being stupid, because this is really a knot in my heart.
I have a 985 master's degree, my husband and I are college classmates, I got married as soon as I graduated, everything was fine at the beginning of the marriage, and then he got an illness, and suddenly all kinds of slackness, after he got sick, he was soon admitted to a public institution, very easy idle job, although the housework is all-inclusive, but in my opinion, he is eating all day long and waiting for death.
With my annual salary reaching 500,000 yuan, my husband is still just an ordinary clerk in the unit, and I really look down on him more and more.
During a business dealing, I met K, who was 5 years older than me and was very mature and stylish. We gradually changed from ordinary partners to good friends who talked about everything, and then we began to have an ambiguous relationship, traveled together, and opened a house.
The affair lasted for more than a year, and at first, he was very infatuated with me, just for me, the kind of person who could give up the whole world.
A year later, he once told me that his wife had found out about his affair with me, and although he loved me very much, he had to reduce his relationship with me a little, and then he rarely took the initiative to invite me without waiting for my consent, let alone accepting my invitation.
Every time I asked him out, he didn't have time for a meeting, and his perfunctory attitude made me sad.
I remember, when we first got together, we chatted hotly in WeChat every day, and when we were on a business trip, every day would ** to the second half of the night, as long as I had time, he would send me messages, and I received up to 50 short messages from him a day.
And now? Almost once a week at most, and if I asked him what we were going to do, he told me to wait and not worry.
I've always wanted to divorce my husband and be able to marry him, but now obviously, I feel that his love for me has been shaken, but in fact, my conditions are much better than his wife, and it is worth it for him to marry me!
Later, I followed the advice of a girlfriend and stopped contacting him, who said that disconnection was the best way to test the relationship.
But now half a month has passed, and I live like a year, but he didn't take the initiative to contact me again, is it that we can only be okay and part ways in the future?
Thank you for your trust, but I think it would be a bit abusive if I came to help you recover him, so let's talk about how to save you today.
Is it useful to disconnect? Some. But it's not the disconnection itself that is useful, but the main thing is the person who disconnects.
Disconnection is not a panacea, it will have an effect on any relationship, and it will be useful for anyone.
Why are you disconnected? I know that you are waiting for him to come to you because of his thoughts, waiting for him to admit his mistakes, to coax you, to court, and to wait for him to hold on, so he can only come to you to get back together.
But is it possible?
It can't be, because his attitude towards you has already decided everything. You think that your conditions are better than his wife's, that's just what you think, but there are so many things to consider for a man to divorce, and he can't marry you just because your conditions are good.
What's more, for most men, he pursues two standards for love, men can spend their hearts, women can't betray, you betray your husband, in his heart, maybe it's not suitable to marry.
Women may be carried away by love, but men are not, they are very calculating, and if it is not in the best interest for him, he will not be able to choose you.
The most important thing for a woman is to be able to carry it clearly.
If you can carry it clearly, you will first be able to understand the value of your husband, although his annual salary is not as high as yours, but other people's housework is all covered! This frees up your time to think of something metaphysical!
My husband has been sick and may have a detached view of many things, but in this family, only one that can reflect his value is worthy of recognition.
Secondly, if you can carry it clearly, you will not be disconnected like this.
If you don't make it clear, it's an invalid disconnection, and if you can do it clearly, it's an effective disconnection.
Your disconnection is forcing the other party to change, but the other party is already tired of you, and you still expect him to stay awake at night and sleep alone because he misses you?
The biggest characteristic of ineffective disconnection is: counting on others to satisfy you, you count your needs, cause and effect on others, you have no control at all, not to mention that he has passed the "crazy period" of extramarital affairs?
The biggest characteristic of effective disconnection is that cause and effect are always in oneself.
Disconnection is a new beginning, not an attempt to get away with it.
Disconnection is to restore yourself to a state and no longer have internal friction with him.
Disconnection is a complete separation, reflecting on oneself, and may return to the family, or it may be divorced and choose again.
In short, you have to really understand what you really want? Also understand that what you want is not ethical and will not hurt others.
But the only thing you can do is to play tricks, or to fight for a breath, hoping that one day, you can question him to his face: "Do you know that you are wrong? ”
It's ridiculous, you've been ridiculously wrong.
Finally, men are not like women, and breaking up may be expecting the other party to give them more love; If a man reduces contact with you, it already shows his true attitude, and if you take the initiative, it will be self-inflicted.
In an extramarital affair, when a man does not contact you, it is recommended that you have four words: effective disconnection.