After I retired, I often got together with my old colleagues
Retirement has given me more free time to catch up with my old friends and have fun. But in reality, because of the different economic and family circumstances of each person, the old party can no longer be as worry-free as when he was young.
Aunt Li and her two decades-old friends, who are also close friends, have a close relationship, have no secrets with each other, and get along very happily. Soon after they retired, they often met to go out for dinner and tea. Last year, they went on a trip to the south together, but after this trip, Aunt Li decided not to participate in the activities of this small circle anymore.
The following is an account from Aunt Li's own:
I am 59 years old this year and have been retired for four years.
I retired from a township unit, and my monthly pension was 7,800 yuan.
After I retired, I was freed from the 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. work model I used to have, and my life was much easier.
The place where I work is about 30 kilometers from the county seat, and it can be reached in about half an hour by car. Although the distance is not too far, it is not easy to insist on commuting to work every day, regardless of the wind or rain.
During my time at work, I had two very close sisters of my age.
After graduating from secondary school, I was assigned to work in this township and lived in a dormitory. This dormitory is a large house with three beds in it.
When I moved in, Gao Hui had been living here for a year. Later, Zhang Yuxia was also assigned to work with us, and we became roommates and close friends.
At that time, the three of us went to the cafeteria to eat together, and we would also go to the nearby farmer's house to buy apples to eat.
When we entered the palace of marriage, the other half of our choice worked in a rural agency, and our home was in the staff dormitory there.
On the days when the three of us were close together, we would often get together to prepare a few delicious dishes, bring a full case of beer, and have a good time.
Of the three of us, I had the most privileged family background, my parents-in-law were both retired bank clerks and received relatively generous pensions, and they often supported us financially, so that my partner and I were able to save most of our salaries.
The other two families come from rural areas and are not only unable to provide financial assistance, but also need to contribute to financial expenses in their hometowns, such as buying fertilizers, seeds, or dealing with human relations.
They often praise me with envy for being lucky enough to marry into such a family.
Frankly speaking, our family's economic conditions are indeed far better than those of the two families, whether it is food or daily necessities, our family is more superior.
However, fate is always full of uncertainties, and it is inevitable that there will be various challenges and difficulties on the road of life.
When I was 35 years old, I experienced one of the most painful blows in my life, when my partner suddenly changed his heart and left me and our children behind.
Faced with the reality of divorce, although my life was not lacking in material things, my soul fell to the bottom, and I felt unprecedented emptiness and loss.
Nevertheless, when he left, he left us with a spacious new property in the county seat, as well as a portion of our savings. Coupled with my stable income, our financial life is not too troubled.
As time went on, I gradually let go. Although my husband left us, life did not give up on me. I'm in good health, I have a career I love, and I have a family and a bright son who loves me dearly, and there's no reason to continue to wallow in grief.
In this process, Gao Hui and Zhang Yuxia also often gave me comfort and encouragement, helping me gradually regain the rhythm of life.
Whenever they hold a meeting, they don't forget to invite me to join them. Although I inevitably feel a little lonely and sour every time I see the loving scenes of the couple, I still try to participate in their parties when I think of creating a happy atmosphere for my children.
For the sake of my children's education, I moved to the county seat and started a daily life of driving to work.
Although I left the township, the connection between us did not diminish. Soon after, they also bought a property in the county through a loan, and still maintain a lifestyle of commuting to work every day.
Time passed quickly, and in the blink of an eye, the days flew by.
When my son was admitted to the university, I met Lao Li. Lao Li is also a person who works in the system, and he has also experienced divorce like me, and has not looked for a partner for many years, just for his daughter.
I greatly admired his gentleness and humility.
After half a year of acquaintance and dating, we both felt that each other was very suitable, so I decided to introduce Lao Li to Gao Hui and Zhang Yuxia, hoping that they could give me some advice.
Gao Hui didn't say much, but unexpectedly, Zhang Yuxia secretly said to me: "Lao Li feels a little unsteady, seeing that he is so well-dressed, can he really share the ups and downs with you?" ”
Zhang Yuxia's evaluation made me feel uncomfortable. Frankly speaking, Lao Li has a down-to-earth personality, he was born in a rural background, it is not easy for him to be admitted to university, I have always thought that he is very practical, frugal in life, simple in family circle, and is a good man who takes care of his family wholeheartedly. Why would anyone think he wasn't grounded enough?
I chose Lao Li without hesitation and decided to spend the rest of my life with him.
By the time we were 55, the three of us were almost retired.
After retiring, we suddenly found ourselves with a lot of free time and no longer had to rush to work in the countryside every day.
We both live in the east of the county, not far from each other's homes.
Sometimes, we'd go out to dinner or go for a walk in the park together, about once every other week.
Occasionally, we would find a yoga class together and take a yoga class to keep our bodies healthy.
When we get together, we talk about our family life, about our children, and about our pensions.
Although we both retired in the same township, but the amount of pension is different, because I am a professional and technical position, I retired with a deputy senior title, I can receive 7,800 yuan a month.
As administrators, they do not have professional titles, so their pensions are relatively low, about 5,000 yuan.
Whenever the topic of pension is discussed, the two of them always seem a little unwilling.
I can only smile awkwardly, and every time we go out to eat together, I try to take on as much as possible.
After all, my pension is relatively high, and I feel like I should have a little more.
When we talked about family life, I confessed to them that my life with Lao Li was also quite sweet. Although we were married later, we got along very harmoniously because the economic conditions of both parties were quite compatible, and we were both kind-hearted people.
Whenever there is a party without Lao Li's company, I always feel empty in my heart and feel lonely. Since Lao Li came into my life, I feel confident that I can once again sit confidently among my friends.
Zhang Yuxia said slowly: "In your life, everything else is quite smooth, but the road to marriage is bumpy." ”
Hearing her say this, I was stunned for a while, wondering what she meant. When I got home, I told Lao Li about it, but he just smiled lightly and didn't answer my words.
During that time, several of us discussed going on a long trip together.
In the end, we chose a tour group in the south, traveling for five days and six nights, and the cost per person was 5,800 yuan, which was quite high-end in the tour group.
The arrangement of the tour group is that breakfast is solved in the hotel, lunch is in charge of the tour group in the scenic area, and the afternoon is free time, and everyone can find a place for dinner.
On the afternoon of the first day of the trip, we set off together to discover the local cuisine. Lao Li and I thought that since we came, we should enjoy ourselves and give priority to those restaurants with better environments, after all, the sanitary conditions there are more reassuring.
But Gao Hui and Ma Yuxia's idea is that if they can save, they will save, and they would rather choose roadside stalls than go to big hotels.
In the end, I had no choice but to agree with them and settle dinner at a roadside stall. However, in the middle of the night, I suddenly felt a stomachache and suffered from a severe diarrhea that made me feel like a river in my stomach, and at that moment I really regretted my decision to go to a roadside stall to eat.
I tried the spicy spicy crayfish yesterday afternoon, and now I suspect it's upsetting my stomach, and maybe a little bit of adaptation.
The next day I was weak and lacklustre, and my face was so pale that it looked like no blood, but I gritted my teeth and continued with the tour group.
After all, it's not easy to find time to come out to play, and if I don't visit, Lao Li can only stay in the hotel to accompany me, which is a pity.
When it was noon, when everyone was discussing what to eat, I immediately refused the street stall and offered to eat at the hotel, and we invited it, thinking that since everyone came, we should enjoy it, especially at our age, and we should pay more attention to health.
As soon as they heard that we were paying, they happily followed us to the hotel.
As soon as everyone was seated, I asked them to order whatever they wanted. They were not polite and immediately ordered 12 dishes, including fragrant braised lion's head and half-pound lobster, as well as sea cucumber soup per person.
I secretly calculated in my heart that this meal would cost 1,000 yuan, but when Lao Li secretly told me that we spent 1,600 yuan, I was really surprised.
I sighed in my heart that this meal was so extravagant that we didn't need to order so much at all.
There were still a lot of dishes left on the table after the meal, but we couldn't take them back to the hotel to eat.
Although I am not the kind of meticulous person in my life, it really hurts me to look at the food that is being wasted.
On that day, we planned to take a boat ride to enjoy the beautiful view of the riverside. But unexpectedly, I didn't feel cold when I stood on the shore, but as soon as I stepped on the boat, the wind by the river was biting, and I couldn't help but hug my shoulders.
Zhang Yuxia wore a heavy coat and carried an extra large shawl. Her husband was very attentive and offered to lend me the shawl.
However, Zhang Yuxia didn't seem to agree, and she responded lightly: "Lao Li spoils her so much, just let Lao Li take off his coat and give her to wear." ”
I hurriedly waved my hand to refuse, indicating that I could still bear the slightest cold.
But Lao Li did not hesitate, immediately took off his coat and gently draped it over my shoulders, and he was wearing only a short-sleeved shirt.
After a few moments, I noticed that his arm was already holding goosebumps, and I immediately gave him back the coat and insisted that he put it back on.
This experience caused quite a ripple in my heart. Zhang Yuxia and I have always had a good relationship, why does she seem so calculating in such a trivial matter?
After the trip by the river, it was time for lunch. Considering that we had already spent 1,600 yuan on dining in the morning, this time we chose to remain silent to see what the two of them would handle. After all, we can't afford to pay for it all the time.
Gao Hui's husband suggested that he go to a high-quality restaurant. He mentioned that he felt an upset stomach after eating at a roadside stall the day before, and he no longer wanted to visit those roadside stalls since he tried the food of the big restaurants.
Our group chose a hotel that looked good and walked in, Gao Hui didn't wait long and began to complain to me: "It's all because of you, you dragged us to that luxury restaurant yesterday, and now they even dislike the roadside stalls." It doesn't matter if you have a large pension and spend a lot of money, but we have a small pension and we have to be careful with our budgets. ”
Hearing Gao Hui say this, my face was hot, and I felt embarrassed, but I didn't know how to refute it.
At this moment, Zhang Yuxia put forward an idea: "Let's share the expenses today, AA system, no matter how much money is spent, everyone will share it equally." ”
I was a little unhappy in my heart, after all, we took the initiative to treat yesterday, but they ordered a dish of 1,600 yuan was too much. Why didn't she bring it up at that time?
What if my pension is a little more? After all, the money didn't come out of their pockets. But for the sake of superficial harmony, I didn't say much.
Because we had agreed in advance that we would share the cost, they were very cautious when ordering food, lest it be too expensive.
The meal cost a total of 600 yuan, and each household paid 200 yuan. Although this is not a lot of money, the more I think about it, the more I feel that it is not a good feeling in my heart.
After telling Lao Li about this, he was silent for a while.
When he returned to the hotel, Lao Li said: "Since you have come out to play, you should be open-minded and don't worry about it." Always thinking about small things, friends can't do it for long. ”
The days of the tour passed in the blink of an eye, and on the last day, the tour guide took us to a shopping place. He said it doesn't matter if we buy it or not, if we buy it, it helps him, and it doesn't matter if we don't buy it.
Everyone appreciated the tour guide's behavior because he didn't force us to shop.
During those days, the tour guide was always by our side, with great effort and toil. As a token of our appreciation for him, we all bought small things.
There is a stall selling salted duck in the market, which can seal the packaging for customers on the spot.
I don't really like the taste of salted duck, so I didn't buy it.
I don't think it's necessary to buy too many things when traveling, and it is really not necessary to spend so much money.
At this time, I noticed that Zhang Yuxia had bought four saltwater ducks. When she made the payment, she found that she didn't have enough money, so she asked me to borrow 1,000 yuan.
But I don't have much money in my pocket, less than $300. I'm a bit forgetful, and most of my family's finances are managed by Lao Li, and I always ask him for money when I need it.
I told Zhang Yuxia that I could lend her all the money I had, and if it wasn't enough, I would go to Lao Li and lend her again.
But Ms. Zhang was clearly not interested in my offer, saying, "Don't think I won't pay back the money I borrowed from you." I'll definitely pay you back when I go back. No need to make excuses, you have a pension of 8,000 yuan a month, and you don't have 1,000 yuan on you, is this reasonable? If you don't want to borrow it, forget it. ”
She turned away angrily and ignored me. I could only stand there helplessly, feeling helpless.
The next day we were on our way back, and we decided to get together the night before.
This party is the hotel chosen by Zhang Yuxia's husband, and as for the way to pay, everyone doesn't seem to discuss much, I guess it should be paid separately.
Our table was full of all kinds of delicious food, and since we were all going back tomorrow, we decided to enjoy a good meal tonight to round off the trip.
Zhang Yuxia's other half picked two bottles of fine wine, and Gao Hui's spouse brought a whole case of cold beer, but our Lao Li is an absolute sake person.
He really has no resistance to alcohol, and when he drinks it lightly, his face is as red as cooked shrimp, and he even has small red spots all over his body, which is obviously an allergy to alcohol, so he prefers to stay away from alcohol.
We all know in our hearts that the price of alcohol in the hotel is usually much more expensive than outside. Seeing that the wines they ordered were all good varieties, I thought to myself that this meal would cost more than 2,000 to say the least.
The dinner that night was indeed very good, and everyone ate with relish, especially Gao Hui and Zhang Yuxia's husband, who drank non-stop and had a warm atmosphere.
It was half past ten, and it was time to go back to the hotel to rest.
But as we passed by the bar area, no one stopped, and Gao Hui and Zhang Yuxia just walked briskly outside the hotel.
Their husbands looked normal when they came downstairs, but when they got to the checkout, they started staggering, and I couldn't tell if they were really drunk or pretending to be drunk. In short, no one took the initiative to stop and check out.
Lao Li and I looked at each other, and we didn't know what to do.
At this point, the cashier urged us to hurry up and check out because they were closing their doors too.
Lao Li had no choice but to step forward and take out his mobile phone to scan the code to pay. I hurriedly followed to take a look, and it turned out that the dinner actually cost us 2,800 yuan.
I had expected the two of them to offer to share the cost.
I quickly caught up with Gao Hui and Zhang Yuxia and said to them, "Our expenses tonight are not small, guess how much it spent?" ”
Zhang Yuxia responded lightly: "Isn't that probably less than two thousand?" ”
I replied, "We actually spent 2,800 yuan, almost 3,000." Mainly because the wine is expensive tonight, so the expenditure is too much. ”
Gao Hui immediately took over the conversation: "That's right, eating out is already expensive, and we really spent a lot of money in the past five days." These two love to drink, who told them to order such expensive wine. You can't just buy a bottle of wine from outside and bring it to drink. ”
While constantly complaining about their husbands, neither Gao Hui nor Zhang Yuxia offered to share the cost.
By the time we were ready to return the next day, the cost of last night's meal seemed to have been forgotten, and it was clear that we had paid for the meal again.
Lao Li and I carefully calculated, in addition to the cost of travel in the past few days, the cost of catering alone has reached six or seven thousand yuan.
If Gao Hui and Zhang Yuxia can be content, it will be fine, but in their eyes, it seems that it is natural for our family to pay, which is unacceptable.
I was getting angrier, but given our years of friendship, I didn't want to get angry or ask them for the money.
After returning home, Lao Li and I had an in-depth discussion on this matter. Lao Li said: "Actually, I have noticed it a long time ago, but I am embarrassed to say it clearly. Although the three of you have been friends for many years and former colleagues, it was very fun to hang out together at that time, because everyone was very simple. But now the situation is very different. ”
Over time, the living conditions of all three of you have changed dramatically, and your pension is higher than both of them, and they are unhappy because of it. In addition, there are not many people who really hope you are good, since the two of us have been together, Zhang Yuxia has always been not very optimistic about me, and she once sarcastically said that you are going well in other aspects, but marriage is not good, doesn't this explain her attitude? ”
Usually everyone has a dinner, and everyone doesn't care about spending one or two hundred yuan, so it doesn't matter if it's a little money. This trip is expensive, and the phenomenon is obvious, right? They all want to back down and don't want to pay for it. ”
In fact, when we are old and do not fit into the circle, we should not force ourselves. Wouldn't it be nice for us to have fun by ourselves in the future? ”
After that, I took Li's advice and stopped attending their meetings. There is no such thing as a feast that lasts forever, and when I feel unhappy, there is no need to force myself to continue.
After retirement, we maintain a peaceful mind, exercise actively, get along with our families, and live our lives well. If you can have a true friend, it is naturally a beautiful thing, and even if you don't, there is no need to regret it.