I'm 54 years old and will retire next year
My name is Li Chunzhi and I am 54 years old.
I often count the days and look forward to retirement, and after all, I will be able to enjoy my retirement in April next year.
I work for a county-level agency where the discipline is very strict, with facial recognition punching in and out four times a day, and the leave rules are particularly strict.
Decades of working life have made me look forward to retirement, imagining how comfortable it would be to be able to freely visit famous places, go shopping, or hang out with old friends.
Sister Zhang and Sister Li in the office, both of them are older than me, Sister Zhang started to enjoy retirement last year, and Sister Li entered retirement in May this year.
Their retirement life looks very comfortable, often showing their leisurely daily life on social **, sometimes taking their children out, sometimes dining out with the whole family, or enjoying happy times with grandchildren, and life seems extraordinarily happy.
Although I have a deputy senior title and can theoretically work until the age of 60, there are also some female colleagues in our unit who have not chosen to retire at the age of 55 and plan to work until the age of 60.
I don't agree with their choice, believing that life is too short and that the five years between the ages of 55 and 60 are extremely precious for women, and that they should enjoy family life while they are healthy.
Although it is possible to earn more money if you continue to work for these 5 years, money is always earned, and people's desires are endless.
Therefore, I chose not to be burdened by money and enter retirement as soon as possible.
My significant other is the same age as me, and he has five years to work before he retires. In the past five years, I have been able to take care of the housework, take care of his health, and live a warm life, which is also a contribution to my family.
My daughter-in-law insisted that I not retire at the age of 60, and she was already thinking about having a second baby, and she planned to start preparing for a new baby when I retired.
When the first child was born, the other party's parents were mainly responsible for taking care of it, and even though they were taking care of it, I still gave 3,000 yuan a month as a thank you money.
To be honest, at that time, my income was only a little more than 5,000, and after taking out 3,000 yuan, there was not much left in my hand.
Personally, I think it's the same whether it's a grandmother or a grandmother with a child, after all, the daughter-in-law will also be responsible for taking care of her parents in the future.
But the daughter-in-law had a different opinion, insisting that since the grandson has our family name, then it should be taken care of by our family.
With that, I decided to support my daughter-in-law and take care of my upcoming second child.
Considering these practical circumstances, my desire for retirement is even stronger, and I literally think about it day and night.
I plan to submit a retirement application directly at that time, which is considered an early retirement, after all, according to the regulations, women with deputy senior titles can only retire until they are 60 years old.
My health is very good, and the results of the physical examination show that I have no high blood pressure, high blood sugar, high blood lipids, and I am free from those common problems of menopause.
Many of my colleagues saw that I was full of energy and thought that I would work until I was 60 years old and officially retired.
But when they knew that I was determined to retire, they all sighed that I had seen through life and understood how to truly relax.
Because of the late retirement of five years, the difference in pension is not only three or five hundred yuan.
There is an eldest sister in our unit who waited until she retired at the age of 60, and her pension was nearly 1,000 yuan more than those employees with the same title who retired at the age of 55, mainly because her salary in the last few years was relatively high, and she paid more pension insurance, and her natural pension increased accordingly.
In the past, in the office, my relationship with Sister Zhang and Sister Li was as close as family, we often chatted, talked about everything like sisters, and even went out on weekends to enjoy leisure time.
Since their retirement, everyone has been busy with their own work, and they have not been able to seize a face-to-face opportunity.
Once, Sister Zhang proposed the idea of getting together in our chat group. This offer immediately piqued my interest, and I offered to treat me to a treat, after all, in their eyes, I was still the same little sister, and they wanted to treat the two sisters well and relive the old friendship.
After all, since their retirement, our contact has been limited to lively exchanges on WeChat, and the actual meeting has not been possible for a long time.
I carefully selected a quiet and elegant restaurant, booked a table in advance, ordered six courses according to their preferences, and brought a bottle of treasured red wine from home, which my husband had bought on a business trip and had never opened.
I arrived at the restaurant early, and as a courtesy, as the host, of course, I arrived a little earlier, looking at my phone from time to time, looking at the door, expecting their arrival.
Both sisters were late, and we agreed to meet at 6 p.m., but Sister Zhang didn't arrive until 6:40 a.m., and Sister Li didn't arrive until 7:30.
As soon as they walked into the restaurant, they began to apologize in quick succession, expressing deep apologies for keeping me waiting.
I was a little surprised, I remember that when I was in the unit, we often had parties, and they were never late, especially Sister Zhang, who was always the first to arrive.
What surprised me even more was the change in the appearance of Sister Zhang and Sister Li, Sister Zhang used to be a tall and meticulous beauty, always paying great attention to appearance. Her hairstyle is always neat and meticulous, and she always uses certain hair care products that I don't know about every day, which always makes her smell smelly.
However, now Sister Zhang's hair is messy, her face is haggard, and her eyes are even slightly puffy.
Sister Li has changed and become surprising. In the past, when she went to work, her back was like a knife, and she walked in the wind, but now, her back is bent, the corners of her eyes are covered with traces of time, and her smile is full of the tiredness of the world.
I was silently amazed in my heart. I thought they would pay more attention to self-care after retirement, after all, they have more time to take care of themselves, but I didn't expect that after only one year, they will look older.
In the past, my sisters would wear the kind of mid-heeled shoes that were both beautiful and suitable when they went out, but that day, the two of them switched to comfortable flat sneakers.
After everyone sat down, they chatted casually, and Sister Zhang said with some embarrassment: "I proposed to get together, but I was late, I'm really embarrassed, I just came back from my hometown." ”
Sister Zhang didn't stop as soon as she spoke. She said: "Chunzhi, look at me, I'm too old to speak. Alas, don't expect retirement, retirement isn't as good as we think. My life now, hey, is full of tears when I say it, and I'm more tired than when I went to work. ”
It turned out that Sister Zhang still had to take care of her mother, who was nearly ninety years old. In the past, Sister Zhang and her younger brothers took turns to be in charge, each family was responsible for a month, and they would accompany the elderly when it was their turn.
When she was not retired, Sister Zhang would go home for the night after work every day and come back early the next day.
But after retiring, seeing that Sister Zhang seemed to be idle at home, the younger brothers were not very balanced.
In the days when she didn't need to take care of her mother, Sister Zhang traveled around, which made her two younger brothers and daughters-in-law who lived in the countryside and had no fixed income very envious.
After some discussion, the two younger brothers decided to let Sister Zhang take care of their mother, and they would not take over unless Sister Zhang had an urgent matter at home.
They explained openly that they needed to work to earn money to support their family, and that Sister Zhang's pension was relatively abundant enough for her to take care of her mother at home.
In fact, the financial pressure faced by the two younger brothers is indeed not small, they both have children in school, and the cost of education is also a big burden.
As the eldest daughter in the family, Sister Zhang also took into account the practical difficulties of her younger brothers.
So, she decided to return to her hometown to take care of her elderly mother, while her two younger daughters-in-law went to a nearby factory to find a job.
It is not easy to take care of the elderly family, especially for the mother who is almost 90 years old, in the past two years, she has not even been able to take care of herself in basic life, and she has frequently woken up at night, or to drink water or massage her legs, which makes Sister Zhang physically and mentally exhausted.
Sister Zhang mentioned that she had an illness not long ago, and then her two younger daughters-in-law had to come back to take care of their mother. They complained that it delayed the opportunity to make money. Once Sister Zhang recovered, she immediately went home to continue to take care of her mother.
Sister Zhang smiled helplessly and said that if she hadn't retired, her younger brothers might not have thought of using her to take care of their mother all year round. Although it was her responsibility to take care of her mother, she was too busy to do it alone.
Hearing Sister Zhang say this, we all deeply sympathize. The mother needs to be taken care of, and the two younger brothers are also working to make ends meet for the family, and they also need to work to earn money.
Sister Zhang said that for the sake of family harmony and unity, she had to endure silently and continue to take on this responsibility.
Listening to Sister Zhang's narration, I couldn't help but think of my family situation. Both of my parents are in their eighties, and my mother's health is not ideal, and she often needs to be hospitalized**.
I have an older brother and an older sister, and my sister only goes home once or twice a year to visit her parents because she lives out of town.
My brother and sister-in-law have moved to live with my son, and it is rare to come back to see them all year round, and I basically have to worry about everything at home. When I retired, I naturally had to take care of my parents.
If I continue to work and there is an emergency at home, my brother and sister will definitely rush back to help.
Every time I see Sister Zhang's exhausted appearance, I feel a chill in my heart. I'm not very good at staying up late, and once I don't get enough sleep, my whole body will be sore the next day, and my legs will feel weak even when I walk.
The thought of taking care of my parents alone scared me so much that I felt like I couldn't afford it.
At this time, Sister Li began to pour out her feelings. She sighed: "Hey, when we haven't retired yet, we look forward to retiring as soon as possible every day, thinking that retirement life will be happy and happy, with a pension every month, no longer having to go to work to be controlled, no longer having to clock in and out on time every day, but I didn't expect that the days after retirement are not as good as we imagined." ”
Sister Li's family environment is quite similar to ours, and she also has only one son.
After graduating from graduate school, Sister Li's son worked in a big city for several years, but he never settled. It turned out that he had been keeping a correspondence with a female classmate in high school.
Eventually, Sister Li's son returned to the county seat, passed the exam and became a civil servant, and settled here.
At that time, Sister Li was quite happy and felt that everyone could take care of each other in this way. But now, Sister Li said with a sad face that the rest of her life seems to be devoted to the life of her son's family.
Soon after Sister Li's grandson was born, she originally hired a nanny to take care of the children, but when Sister Li retired a few months later, she took over the duties of a nanny.
Sister Li's daughter-in-law is the only child in the family, and she has never suffered anything in her life, let alone worked. In her mother's time, she didn't need to do anything by herself, and all her needs were met, which was really a typical spoiled girl. Even after becoming a mother and joining the Li family as a daughter-in-law, she still didn't want to make more effort.
Sister Li complained that her daughter-in-law was too troublesome to even hold her own child, so at night, she had to share a bed with her grandson.
In the dead of night, Sister Li always leaves the warm quilt twice, once at midnight and the other at 4 o'clock in the morning, when she has to prepare two night milk powder for her grandson.
As soon as the weather warmed up slightly, the daughter-in-law insisted on not wearing diapers for her grandson, on the grounds that she was worried that diapers would make the child's ** not breathable.
Therefore, Sister Li must get up frequently at night to change the urine for her grandson, because the child has to drink milk twice at night, the amount of urine is naturally more, causing her to work many times at night.
Sister Li described that when she got up at night to make milk powder, her feet were weak, as if she was walking on slippery garlic, and she could fall down at any time. Once, she was so sleepy that she couldn't open her eyes, and when she was making milk powder for her grandson in a daze, she accidentally knocked over the hot water bottle and burned her foot, and finally recovered after more than a month.
Despite the injury to her foot, Sister Li is still not idle. Although her in-laws came to help take care of the children, she still had to drag her injured leg and busy cooking at home.
Although Sister Li's daughter-in-law did not quarrel with her, she was inconsiderate of her hard work. No matter how tired and sleepy Sister Li is, her daughter-in-law will still play with her mobile phone and go shopping, and never take the initiative to help take care of the children, so that Sister Li has a chance to take a break.
Sister Li is responsible for taking care of her grandson at her son's house, and all the living expenses are also paid by her, and her son and daughter-in-law have never offered to give her a penny.
They believe that since Sister Li has a pension, then this money should naturally be used to support the family.
Sometimes, even when the grandson's milk powder is drunk, the daughter-in-law will not ask to buy it. Sister Li had to write down the brand of milk powder that her grandson needed, and went to the supermarket to buy what her grandson needed.
Sister Li contributed all her pension to her son's family, and as a result, she even had the luxury of buying a new dress or a bottle of skin oil.
While taking care of her grandson, Sister Li also has to take care of the housework for her son's family, including washing clothes and cooking. She said that this life has left her physically and mentally exhausted, and that she used to be in good health, but since she started taking care of her grandchildren full-time, she has found that her blood pressure and blood sugar have increased, and she often feels tired and her head is always buzzing.
She misses those days when the workday was regular and organized, and although the work was stressful, at least she could have a good rest after work.
Now at her son's house, she seems to have no time to rest, and she has to get up at night to take care of her grandson, including making milk powder and changing diapers.
Sister Li sighed that at this age, it is really unbearable to work so hard every day.
Looking at the tired and vicissitudes of life on the faces of Sister Zhang and Sister Li, my mood also fluctuated, and I couldn't stay calm anymore.
I was thinking that if I retired next year, maybe what happened to them would happen to me, and it made me feel very scared and worried that I would live like that.
Before I could speak, Sister Zhang and Sister Li suggested that I think about it again and see if I could wait until I was 60 years old to retire.
They persuaded me, not only to make more money, but also to enjoy a quiet time.
I pondered for a while and finally made the decision that I would not retire until I was 60 years old.
As a woman, it is not easy to enjoy comfort when you reach retirement age, but you also have to face the burden of taking care of your family.
The next day, I revealed my decision to my daughter-in-law that I wanted to delay my retirement until I was 60 years old. My daughter-in-law didn't react for a moment and asked me why I suddenly changed my mind. I replied with a smile that it was made after having dinner with Sister Zhang and Sister Li, and they made me realize the benefits of continuing to work. I also told her that even if she gave birth to a second child in the future, I was ready to contribute 3,000 yuan a month and ask my in-laws for help, instead of working myself.
My daughter-in-law tried to convince me, but I waved my hand firmly and signaled that I didn't need to say anything more.
I've decided that I'd rather pay a little extra money every month to help someone out in order not to overwork myself.
As for the responsibility of caring for my parents, my siblings and I can take turns taking the responsibility. I'm willing to take on more days of caregiving, but I can't let that burden fall on my own.
Friends, do you think I'm doing the right thing?