Romantic love causes the brain to release dopamine, and these chemicals create feelings that can make people ignore logical thinking.
These good feelings can be very strong and can "persuade" people to maintain unhealthy, unsatisfying, and unhappy relationships.
While feelings of love are good for health, they don't make for strong, long-lasting romantic relationships.
This is also why people with "love brains" will always unconsciously push the relationship to break up.
Because they are too focused on the feeling of being in love, and lack rational thinking about individuals or relationships.
They will ignore what is most important to them in a relationship and what type of partner is best for them.
Therefore, it is important to think rationally about the compatibility with your partner and accurately analyze and judge whether the two are suitable.
This requires you to understand your expectations and whether the status quo will meet your reasonable expectations.
I think when there is a big gap between expectations and reality, you need to realize that it's time to break up.
The following two lists are provided for your reference, and you can customize your own ** according to your own situation.
**Fans Incentive Plan expects me to be able to feel comfortable talking to my partner about any issues (including our relationship, work, life, etc.).
I needed a partner who would motivate me through my actions and thoughts.
I value peace and quiet in my life and don't like arguments and stress.
I have a clear preference for where I want to live in the future (due to personal preference or dependency, e.g. parents, family, friends).
I want to be with someone who can maintain good chemistry.
I want to be with someone who is very attractive on the outside.
I want to be with someone I truly love and care about.
I want to be with someone who has a similar travel preference.
I want to be with someone who has similar ideas about daily life and the future to me (e.g. how to spend time at home together, how to decorate our home, how to raise children if I want).
For me, it's important that my partner challenges my ideas and creativity.
It is important to me that I can express any emotion (e.g. sadness, happiness, distress) in front of my partner and that I feel comfortable about it.
For me, it's important for my partner to have healthy habits.
It's important to me that my partner makes me smile every day.
For me, it's important that the partner has their own spiritual beliefs.
It's important for me to be able to participate in activities that we both enjoy with my partner.
What is important to me is that my partner is curious about the world and eager to learn new things.
It was important for me to get along well with my partner's family and that they accepted me.
For me, the important thing is that I love him, and whether it is reasonable to be with him is secondary.
It's important for me that my partner is aligned with me on how I spend my money and our financial beliefs.
My best friend's recognition of my partner is crucial to me and vice versa.
In a relationship, it is very important for me to be able to accept each other's interests and hobbies.
Being able to feel special and excited about my partner is crucial for me (e.g., occasionally being "crazy" in front of my partner).
In a relationship, it is essential for me to be passionate and beautiful.
My partner gets along well with my family, and it's important for my family to accept my partner.
Status quo
I felt safe and able to express my thoughts and feelings, and my partner accepted me as I was.
My partner often gives me affirmation and motivation through thoughts and actions.
My partner is genuinely interested in my life and he listens quietly and attentively when I speak.
My partner and I are in agreement in places where we want to live together in a city or country.
I experience strong feelings of attachment, affection, and love (e.g., intensely missing my partner when separated).
When a friend talks about a beautiful woman or man, I think of my partner and feel very proud.
I felt a very deep connection with my partner and saw myself spending the rest of my life with my partner.
My partner and I have similar travel preferences.
My partner and I have similar preferences for our daily lives and the future (e.g. we both like to stay home and watch projection movies).
My partner would challenge my creativity and ideas with her unique creativity.
When I'm sad, emotional, or having a bad day, my partner is compassionate and knows when I need a big hug.
My partner's healthy habits align with my beliefs (e.g. exercising regularly, eating healthy, staying in shape, not smoking).
My partner will often make me laugh and have a sense of humor that I appreciate.
My partner's spiritual beliefs are acceptable to me.
My partner and I share common interests and things we like to do together.
The partner is very inquisitive and always strives to learn new things.
I get along well with my partner's family and they recognize our relationship.
I often express love to my partner, genuinely want to make her happy, and put in the effort to achieve this goal (e.g., thoughtful gifts, surprises, help when my partner is sick or in need).
My partner and I have similar views on spending money, and our financial outlook and values complement each other.
My partner and my friend love each other and they get along very well.
My partner and I accept each other's interests and hobbies and that we will devote time to them.
When I'm around my partner, I often suddenly feel attracted and respected, and feel intense, indescribable happiness.
I am very happy with our sex life and he will respect and take care of my feelings.
My family accepts my partner and they always get along harmoniously.
Summary
Whether it's in love or marriage, the first thing to remember is not to lose yourself.
So we will have our own expectations, we will have our own ideas and standards.
When did you realize it was time to break up?
I think it was at a time when there was a big gap between reality and expectations, too big to make up for and salvage.
If the status quo meets your reasonable expectations, then it is possible for your relationship to grow healthily.
People are willing to fall in love because it makes us feel happy and happy.
But dopamine alone won't sustain a relationship for a long time, so we need to think rationally about whether it's good for our growth.
We should be looking for healthy, satisfying, happy relationships, not just "feelings."