I am very touched by such a sentence: "When a person reaches middle age, when he opens his eyes, he is surrounded by people who have to rely on him, but there is no one he can rely on." ”
It is true that everyone wants to find something to rely on, and if they can't give money and material help, they can give comfort to the soul, and they are also happy.
When I was a child, I went to relatives with my parents, ate at relatives' houses, and could also get red envelopes; When you are playing, you can call friends and invite companions, so it is not lively.
When I grew up, I realized that there are fewer and fewer real friends, and relatives are also up to the point, and everyone gets together politely, and they don't have deep friendships.
Over time, we get used to everything and take social interaction lightly. In other words, if you don't trouble me, I won't trouble you, so it's comfortable.
Generally speaking, people who don't have many friends and are very realistic in their interactions with relatives are likely to see through the following points.
Seeking profit and avoiding relatives, emotional indifference.
Singer Li Zongsheng sang: "You and I are mortals, and it is inevitable that there will be distracting thoughts. Put morality on both sides, and put the word in the middle. ”When people are middle-aged, houses, cars, children's education, parents' pension, eating, drinking, and Lazar all cost money. If you don't care about profits, how can you live?
No matter what kind of social interaction, the first thing you will think about is whether the other party has any use value, and whether there will be a consensus on the exchange of interests in the social field.
Even if it's a dinner with a cup and a lamp, I will think like this - leave a favor, maybe I can use it in the future.
Su Qin, a diplomat during the Warring States Period, went to the Qin State when he was not famous, and Mao recommended himself. King Qin said, how can a fledgling person be reused?
Going around in circles, Su Qin found nothing, and when he went home, he looked very shabby. His family laughed at him.
Later, Su Qin studied hard and was appreciated by Yan Wengong.
When Su Qin returned to his hometown, his family was prostrate on the ground and respectful to him.
Su Qin's sister-in-law said"You have a seat and a lot of money now.
A lot of social situations, yes"Money" is greater than "love"., the real situation, everyone understands, just don't say it.
As the saying goes, "The way of others, the body of others is also treated." ”If you are like this to me, then I am so to you. A group of people who gather because of interests will also break up unhappily because of interests. Everyone is a realistic person, so the emotion is very humble, like chicken ribs.
Work is busy, everyone is fine.
If you look closely, you will find that more and more people are working in other places for many years and rarely return to their hometowns. There are also some people who have a fixed place to work, and they have to change places every year or two.
During the Chinese New Year, I spent two or three days on the road during the seven-day holiday, and one day off at home. The rest of the holiday is obviously insufficient balance. Therefore, visiting relatives and friends is all "a little bit of water" - one morning, I visit five or six households, and I even sit down and talk a few words, which seems impatient.
What's more, I don't leave my relatives during the New Year.
In some remote rural areas, the Chinese New Year is not lively. My childhood friends really want to get together, but I can't get together. Therefore, the emotions of the past are cut off with a click from a certain day.
We are all on the flow and always on the flow. Relatives and friends, also throwing while walking. "Meet new friends, don't forget old friends" is just an idealized state, reality tells us that new friends are difficult to get acquainted, and old friends are drifting apart.
Although, with the help of WeChat, we can start a group chat to talk about our respective living conditions and reminisce about our past lives.
But we all ignore the fact that memories are limited and feelings need to be renewed. Repeat the same old topic once, and then, "there is nothing to say". Therefore, the group of relatives and friends is becoming quieter and quieter. Feelings, in the end, are diluted.
Good feelings come out of trouble. Since everyone doesn't want trouble, let's be okay with each other.
Socially chilling, relying on yourself.
When we were children, we learned the story of "Sima Guang smashing the cylinder".
During the Northern Song Dynasty, Sima Guang smashed the water tank without hesitation in order to save his playmate who fell into the water tank. It can be seen that he cherishes his friends very much.
In the sixth year of Qingli, Sima Guang was transferred from the magistrate to the capital, serving as a Dali commentator and a direct speaker of the country. The staff all went out to practice for him. After a few glasses of wine, he wrote a poem:"Don't hesitate to get drunk, tomorrow is so happy? I can't bear to say goodbye lightly, and I look back at the city tower and there is no evening smoke. ”
During the reign of Song Shenzong, Wang Anshi served as the prime minister and advocated changing the law. Sima Guang raised objections, and his friend Fan Zhen was dismissed for his advice, and he expressed his grievances, so he was ostracized. At this time, the ** people avoided him, and only his friend Liu Qizhi could accompany him to have a glass of wine.
A person's definition of relatives and friends is changing.
When socializing causes chills, socialization becomes dispensable. In other words, at any occasion, it is just present, and it will not be heart-to-heart.Su Shi praised Sima Guang: "Loyalty, filial piety, frugality, integrity, out of nature." ”
Relatives and friends were originally birds in the same forest, and they flew separately when the disaster came. Originally, the more difficult the time, the more we must unite as one, but everyone is very realistic and often chooses to protect themselves.
Someone said: "We once longed for the waves of fate, but in the end we found that the most beautiful scenery in life is actually the calmness and calmness of the heart."Since no one can be relied on, then rely on yourself, even if you feel very uncomfortable in your heart, you don't want to talk to someone. Whether it's relatives or friends, it's better to miss each other.
Seen the saying: "God determines who your relatives are, and luckily He leaves room for you when it comes to choosing friends." ”When people reach middle age, they have experienced too many things, and then they see through society. No matter who you associate with, you will gather and scatter at will, and come and go as you like.
The ancients said well: "No one asks about the poor on the street, but the rich have distant relatives in the mountains." "If social interaction in real life is like this, then there is no point.
Of course, we don't like to be alone, we just worry about disappointment. If you have sincere relatives and friends, you will still be grateful.
May you and I, from now on, not bury every favor, and do not please every indifference.