In a small town in Heilongjiang, Li Xinyun's grain and oil store is the most conspicuous existence.
As high as the roof, stacked in stacks of rice and flour oil, Li Xinyun's figure was too thin when he was busy alone.
People around her who know her say that Li Xinyun is a "woman who doesn't want to die". In order to save money, she didn't spend money to hire a helper, and took on all the work of purchasing, accounting, receiving, and delivering the goods.
Without the help of his parents, let alone relatives to help, Li Xinyun is often busy.
Sometimes others can't bear to see her carrying more than a dozen catties of grain and oil, and she has to climb the stairs to deliver goods, and often persuade her to let go of her obsession, it is better to look forward, ask for more subsidies from **, and start her life again.
But in the face of the people who came to comfort, Li Xinyun's attitude was very resolute.
"I can't lose a penny of my money, I shouldn't take my money, I won't take a penny, I've done these things for so many years, not for money, just so that my husband can die clearly. ”
She said that if it was really because she did not meet the compensation, she would not have traveled back and forth to Beijing dozens of times in 14 years, owed 360,000 yuan to freeze her husband's body, and made a living by working as a coolie, and was even detained for this**, losing her personal freedom for nearly 3 years.
For Li Xinyun, from 2007 to the present, the truth of her husband's death is the only thing she cares about.
And her persistence can't help but make the people around her very puzzled: the accident in 07, the appraisal result was obviously an accident, but why did Li Xinyun never accept it?
After 14 years of stubborn verification, family members and friends have long been estranged from Li Xinyun. But she would rather owe 360,000 yuan in debt than cremate her husband's body, so what is Li Xinyun waiting for?
How can a good person be run over by a train? ”
During the time when her husband had just had an accident, Li Xinyun was always repeating this sentence.
In her opinion, everything came too quickly. Her husband, Lu Qiang, who had just said goodbye to him the night before, became a corpse lying next to the train tracks the next day.
And Li Xinyun, who was dragged over by her brother to mourn, looked at her husband whose face was bloodless, and couldn't calm down for a long time.
In 2002, Li Xinyun and her husband Lu Qiang just met. At that time, one of them was a clothing store owner with a pungent personality, and the other was an honest deli shopkeeper.
Perhaps it was the fate of heaven that pointed the way in the dark, so that Li Xinyun and Lu Qiang, who had only been together for half a year, were extremely sure of each other that the other party was the only one in their lives.
So, with the blessings of relatives and friends, the two couldn't wait to enter the palace of marriage.
is different from Li Xinyun's big grin, her husband Lu Qiang is honest and shy, not full of love words like other people's husbands, but does practical things in a down-to-earth manner, although there are not many words, but the truth cannot be concealed.
Under the backdrop of Lu Qiang, Li Xinyun's shrewdness and pungency are even more obvious. The two people are like complementing each other, tacitly coordinating and sharing the big and small affairs of the small family, and living a comfortable life.
Li Xinyun said: After getting married, he took over the task of buying and selling, and her husband didn't like to talk, so he retreated to the second line and single-handedly contracted the family's three meals a day and chores.
Near their place of residence, there is also a mining area. In his spare time, her husband Lu Qiang always likes to help sell goods in small shops, or go to the mining area to do odd jobs to supplement the family.
In the four years of married life, the couple with very different personalities sometimes stumbled, but after the dispute, the two would still hold hands and continue to walk on the road of life.
Li Xinyun once thought that the rest of his life would be the same as every day and night in the past four years, although he lived a noisy life, but fortunately, it was smooth and stable.
However, the accident happened on the inner railway, not far from the mining area.
At that time, the villagers who called the police after seeing her husband's body described to Li Xinyun what they saw as follows: They lived in a private house not far from the railway, and they had the habit of picking up fallen cinders along the railway. At around 3 a.m. on September 7, 2007, Lu Qiang's body was lying next to the railroad tracks.
Judging from the traces at the scene, Lu Qiang should have accidentally collided with an oncoming train on the way, and in the face of the strong momentum, Lu Qiang was thrown onto the path next to the tracks and died on the spot.
Subsequently, the ** personnel who rushed to hear the news also made a detailed investigation of the scene of the incident and the remains, and the results also confirmed the villagers' inference that Li Xinyun's husband did die because of an accidental collision with a train, which caused a rupture of the skull and heart, which caused massive hemorrhage.
But in the face of the explanation given by professionals, Li Xinyun, who suddenly suffered the pain of losing his husband, said that he would not accept such a statement at all.
In Li Xinyun's opinion, the body of her husband Lu Qiang has exposed too many suspicious points.
If he really died because of a collision with a train, there was not a trace of blood around her husband's body.
Moreover, judging from the scene, before she arrived, incense ashes and dark paper had been placed next to her husband's body, if it wasn't for the guilt of ** murder, how could passers-by be kind enough to spend money for a stranger?
Coupled with the fact that her husband usually acts cautiously and carefully, Li Xinyun can't believe that her husband Lu Qiang really died in an accident.
And **After the on-site investigation was completed, Li Xinyun said that he was unwilling to send Lu Qiang to be cremated. She told her relatives and friends who came to her home to mourn that she felt that the cause of her husband's death was strange and would definitely investigate it to the end.
Seeing that Li Xinyun was so resolute, relatives and friends could not dissuade them more, so they could only leave after a little comfort, leaving room for Li Xinyun to release his emotions.
However, at this time, Li Xinyun didn't care about her grief at all, wiped away the tears on her face, and only one thought was left in her heart to find out the truth.
However, wanting to find out the truth about her husband's death with her own strength, Li Xinyun, who had never read any books since she was a child, felt at a loss for a while.
In desperation, she could only pin all her hopes on the autopsy.
After submitting the autopsy request, she began to wait anxiously. In October 2007, she finally waited for an autopsy notice. Li Xinyun hurriedly put on her clothes, and she had to be by her side the whole time.
However, her decision was immediately opposed by the staff. The other party explained to Li Xinyun: I understand the feelings of the family very well, but the work done by the forensic doctor is completely different from the simple few shots on TV, and there is no certain psychological preparation, so it is best not to **.
However, Li Xinyun begged hard, and in the end, the staff could only reluctantly agree, and let Li Xinyun stand aside to ** their dissection process.
Rao has gone through countless psychological constructions, and in the process of autopsy, Li Xinyun, who has never seen such a scene, still can't control his physiological reaction, and runs outside the house several times to vomit.
But just when the staff thought that she would not come in again, Li Xinyun, who had cleaned up the filth on her body, pushed the door in again, with a calm and resolute face, and stood beside them again.
However, the results of this autopsy did not bring any hope to Li Xinyun.
According to the inspection of the Jixi City Public Security Forensic Department, no residues of common pesticides and sedative drugs were found in the body of Li Xinyun's husband Lu Qiang, and there were no resistance injuries, sharp injuries or mechanical suffocation marks on the surface of the body.
And the organ damage to the head and abdomen and the complete severance of the bones of both forearms, thighs and other parts can prove that Lu Qiang did die from a super external impact, and no traces of his killing were found.
Faced with such a result, Li Xinyun could not accept it.
Since the death of her husband, all kinds of speculations about the cause of death have come to her, almost making her fall into a demon cave of doubt.
Now that the fog has finally been revealed, she has already thought about thousands of suspicious **, and she doesn't believe in such a bland ending.
"At that time, a medical examiner told me, and I remember it clearly, that he said that there were injuries to the deceased's skull and shoulder blades, which were caused by external blows while standing. ”
Based on this, Li Xinyun believes that if her husband really died from the train impact, then there should not be a standing wound on the shoulder blade, and the characteristics of today's body are likely to be caused by the husband's argument with someone before his death, and he was thrown near the railroad tracks after being injured.
Therefore, after the forensic autopsy was completed, Li Xinyun submitted another application for an autopsy to the Heilongjiang Provincial Public Security Department, requesting a second autopsy.
In order to give an explanation to the family of the deceased as soon as possible, after receiving the autopsy application, the Provincial Public Security Criminal Technology Corps informed Li Xinyun that the team would arrange staff to be responsible for Lu Qiang's autopsy.
On February 21, 2008, the Heilongjiang Provincial Public Security Department released the results of the second autopsy. The opinion of the medical examiner was the same as the results of the first autopsy, which was that Lu Qiang met the characteristics of the autopsy that caused the rupture of multiple organs caused by the action of the train before his death.
However, even if the results of the two autopsies were exactly the same, it did not shake the suspicion in Li Xinyun's heart at all! Immediately, based on the results of the forensic examination's examination of the shoulder blade, Li Xinyun filed a third autopsy application, requesting a comprehensive autopsy of the body.
However, her move attracted the opposition of both relatives and **.
In the opinion of **, the results of the two autopsies are exactly the same, which excludes the subjectivity of the forensic doctor's personal ability, so there will be no second interpretation of the cause of Lu Qiang's death.
And Lu Qiang's family, who has been immersed in grief, cannot afford to suffer the pain of repeated autopsies of their relatives' bodies, and strongly ask Li Xinyun to stop his actions and cremate Lu Qiang's body as quickly as possible, so that he can be buried in peace.
However, Li Xinyun's stubbornness exceeded everyone's expectations. She said:
"I feel that Lu Qiang is the only person in the world who is good to me, and I have the obligation to find out the truth for him. ”
In order to ensure that the body was not damaged, Li Xinyun reached an agreement with the funeral home, she paid for the freezing, and the funeral home was responsible for preserving her husband's body.
After determining the whereabouts of the body, Li Xinyun decided to be self-reliant, no longer relying on professionals, but instead teaching himself anatomical knowledge to solve the mystery of the cause of her husband's death.
For this reason, she deliberately bought one thick medical book after another, learned from scratch, and gnawed the hard bone of human anatomy little by little.
When she couldn't learn, Li Xinyun came to the scene of her husband's accident again, repeating and simulating all the trajectories that might have happened at the time of the incident, hoping to have a flash of inspiration in practice and find the clues left by the real murderer.
And when she has a little knowledge, she will constantly compare the traces on her husband's body with the examples in the book, and not let go of any suspicious small wounds.
Even, in order to understand the injury more intuitively, Li Xinyun also returned to the funeral home, pulled her husband's clothes, and experimented on her own despite the dissuasion of the staff.
As her anatomical knowledge continued to improve, Li Xinyun found that some of the wounds on her husband Lu Qiang's body were indeed not caused by impact, but more similar to those left by intentional injuries.
As if to confirm her conjecture, when Li Xinyun was running around for the cause of her husband's death, there were several miner leaders who claimed that Lu Qiang's death was due to malicious retaliation from the rival's mining area, and they were the insiders.
But when Li Xinyun went to the train driver who caused the accident for verification, the other party was sincere and positive, took her husband's death on her head, and expressed her willingness to pay a sum of compensation.
However, Li Xinyunzhi is not here, she just wants to find out the cause of her husband's death! But when all kinds of specious so-called truths continued to enter her ears, Li Xinyun's already weak medical judgment completely collapsed.
In the face of four years of mutual support, she found that she couldn't calm down in front of the fog at all, and it was too difficult to find the truth by relying on her own judgment.
At this time, Li Xinyun understood that his only choice at present was to go to a higher-level place and let the forensic doctor there re-examine the autopsy.
But when she was about to leave for Beijing, the person in charge of the funeral home came to the door.
The cost of freezing the body is not low, and when Li Xinyun was busy checking in the field, the cost of keeping her husband Lu Qiang's body was also constantly superimposing. Li Xinyun's prepaid fees were simply not enough for him to stay in the freezer.
The person in charge of the funeral home said that if you want to continue to freeze the body, you must settle the arrears.
But since the husband's accident, the couple's small shop has been closed and has never been opened to the public.
Without a continuous income, coupled with the living expenses of the elderly and children at home, Li Xinyun's wallet was already empty, and he could not pay off the arrears at all.
In desperation, she had to negotiate with the person in charge of the funeral home, saying that she would find some odd jobs while going to Beijing to find experts, settle the arrears as soon as possible, and hope that the other party would not stop freezing her husband's body.
After obtaining the consent of the funeral home, Li Xinyun sent his son to a relative's house and went to Beijing alone.
During her days in Beijing, Li Xinyun visited countless experts and restated the situation of her husband's body again and again, in the hope of getting a completely different judgment from that of the provincial public security department.
As she had hoped, some experts in Beijing did disagree, believing that there might be another cause for Mr. Lu's death and asking Mr. Li to send the body for further examination.
Things seem to have taken a turn for the better at this point.
Li Xinyun, who saw hope, was even more sure that her husband died of his murder. So while visiting experts everywhere, she also started the road of petitioning by herself, claiming to find the truth for her husband.
However, her efforts have unwittingly gone to the other extreme.
In order to survive in Beijing, Li Xinyun lived in a rented house, found a heavy physical job, and kept only a small part of the money he earned for his own life, and used the rest for transportation expenses and visiting expenses.
Perhaps due to the pressure of life, Li Xinyun's journey to seek the truth has evolved more and more eagerly, from the beginning of the rational waiting for the truth, to the end of sparing no effort to prove that her husband died of homicide, Li Xinyun's petitions are becoming more and more frequent.
In the absence of tangible evidence, Li Xinyun, who was too impatient, had to pay the price for his recklessness.
In the 14 years of chasing the murderer, Li Xinyun was detained 6 times just because of letters and visits, and there were 2 ** records, and for nearly 923 days, she had no personal freedom at all.
"Neither my mother's family nor my mother-in-law's family supported me in doing this, and they all felt that I should give up. ”
Li Xinyun said frankly that after her husband's accident, the attitudes of relatives and friends around her continued to change with her career of chasing the murderer.
From the silent support at the beginning to the clear opposition at the end, in the past ten years of finding out the truth for her husband, she seems to have lost all her relatives.
On January 23, 2011, Li Xinyun, who was released from the ** center again, did not wait for any relatives to come to greet him.
At that time, it was the end of the year, and there was no one around her, even the staff of the ** office couldn't help but be curious, and politely asked why she didn't have relatives to pick her up.
Such a scene made Li Xinyun's heart feel very painful.
I am not highly educated, and it is not easy to survive in Beijing. She was desperately busy, but the wages she earned were far from being able to cover her husband's freezing expenses in the funeral home, and the arrears were as high as 360,000.
Not only that, due to the lack of timely guidance and education, coupled with his own ** experience, the son who was fostered in a relative's house also began to have a series of problems, and his grades plummeted.
At this moment, Li Xinyun's originally rock-solid heart gradually loosened a little.
From the age of 31 to 45, she dedicated all her good time to petition verification, which not only ended up empty, but also indirectly affected the child's life.
Now that relatives and friends have also drawn a line with him, Li Xinyun can't help but start to reflect, is the root of the problem really appearing in himself?
Forced to make ends meet, Li Xinyun returned to her hometown in Heilongjiang, where she opened a grain and oil store, and the money she earned tried to retrain her son while paying off the funeral home's arrears.
Without the help of relatives and friends, Li Xinyun lived himself into an all-round superman. Not only did she take care of the big and small affairs of the grain and oil store, but also started the door-to-door delivery service, and she gritted her teeth and delivered it in one day with more than 10,000 catties of grain.
"I don't think of myself as a woman, I just do it as a woman and an iron man. ”
When she is free, Li Xinyun will still habitually go to the place where her husband had an accident to sit, and constantly assume various situations that may arise at that time in her mind. Then close your eyes and imagine yourself and your husband meeting in a different time and space.
When asked if she still felt that her husband's death was strange, the woman who had always been stubborn and firm was relieved, saying that she had already thought about it and would no longer try to get others to agree with her point of view with trivial details as before.
When mentioning his son, Li Xinyun's tone was a little choked.
She said frankly that after so many years of running for her husband, the most sorry thing is her son, and now that she has been tossing for so long, she only hopes for two things: one is that her son, who is 16 years old this year, can be successfully admitted to university, and the other is that she hopes to be able to take a second look at all the information of the public security after her husband's accident.
If her husband really dies in a car accident, she will let him be buried as soon as possible and give an explanation to herself and her family.
On January 31, 2021, the Jixi City Public Security Bureau sent a message: all the case materials after the 2007 Lu Qiang case have been prepared, and I hope Li Xinyun can go to check it as scheduled.
Li Xinyun has been waiting for this day for a long time.
Unlike when she first stepped into the Jixi City Public Security Bureau, Li Xinyun, who had reached the age of not being confused, no longer had the paranoia of the year in her eyes, but was replaced by a relieved softness.
Under the guidance of the staff, she checked all the case materials one by one, carefully confirmed every line on it, and sighed almost inaudibly when she saw that her husband Lu Qiang had indeed died in a train collision.
In order to make Li Xinyun feel more at ease, the staff of the Public Security Bureau specially showed her the previously rumored investigation results of "the miner leader caused death": there is no evidence that the people involved in the case are related to Lu Qiang's death.
After listening to the staff's explanation, Li Xinyun's inner obsession, who had read the case handling materials, finally fell to the ground.
When she came to the funeral home, she signed her name with her own hands, and fourteen years later, completed her husband's cremation ceremony.
After all the things were dealt with, Li Xinyun came to the section of the railway where her husband had an accident alone. Only this time she didn't look for clues as usual, but slowly lay down on the snow, her expression relieved and sad.
"I've been to this place countless times over the years, and I remember the location of every stone here. ”
Wearing the cotton clothes of fourteen years ago, Li Xinyun, who was lying on the ground, was not hysterical, gave up her inner obsession, she opened her arms and lay down without any scruples, letting the tears in her eyes wet and scattering on the scarf on the side, in order to make a final farewell.
The people have passed away, and the grief will remain in my heart forever. But for today's Li Xinyun, accepting goodbye means being reborn.
Later, with the help of **, Li Xinyun applied for the subsistence allowance and found a cleaning job with a monthly salary of 3,000 yuan, plus the profit of the grain and oil store, her life became secure.
The son, who returned to his mother's arms, has a correct learning attitude at a speed that is visible to the naked eye, and the relevant staff are still actively helping him to transfer to another school, so as to change the environment and rediscover his own rhythm of life.
Li Xinyun, who let go of his obsession, has added a few traces of time to his face, but his eyebrows are stretched, and his eyes are no longer as sharp as they used to be.
Nowadays, she is more often sitting at the door of her own grain and oil store, smiling at the crowd without saying a word.
From 2007 to the present, Li Xinyun has been too much for his obsession, and now that the clouds have opened and seen the moon, Li Xinyun, who has woken up, has reached the age when he should live for himself.
Half a life of twists and turns, we also hope that she can enjoy the rest of her life after letting go of her obsession.