Half a life of ups and downs, half of life, half sober and half confused.
More than halfway through his life, he has become more and more aware of the truth that people don't have to seek perfection and life does not have to be fulfillment.
The flowers are half-opened, and the wine is slightly drunk.
Life should be like this, and the best state is to be half sober and be yourself, and half drunk to see the world.
Awake to be alone, drunk to get along.
When we are young, we tend to make friends and see the world with a clear black and white concept.
At that time, the world we saw as simple and pure, and we often chose to keep our distance from people with different views.
However, as the years go by, our minds mature and we begin to understand that a truly good relationship is not about being exactly the same, but about growing together on the basis of respecting differences.
Being too others is actually isolating oneself and narrowing one's mind.
With people, we need to maintain a delicate balance.
Leave three points drunk, hold two or two confused.
Neither too sober to be harsh, nor too intoxicated to lose oneself.
This way of getting along can make us comfortable in interpersonal relationships, not tiring or hurting.
Bai Hsien-yong, a Taiwanese literary giant, once devoted himself to the creation of the Kunqu opera "The Peony Pavilion", which was a work that was enough to shake the two sides of the Taiwan Strait.
Every note and every lyric is full of Bai Xianyong's love and dedication to art.
However, in the eyes of his closest friend, Chen Wenqian, it all seemed so inconsequential.
While Bai Xianyong was immersed in the glory of "The Peony Pavilion", Chen Wenqian stayed out of the matter like a bystander, as if it had nothing to do with her.
This is because Chen Wenqian's views on love are very different from Bai Xianyong's.
She believes that love is ephemeral and ever-changing, how can it be like the interpretation in "The Peony Pavilion", beyond life and death, eternal and unchanging?
In the face of Chen Wenqian's different views, Bai Xianyong did not feel angry or disappointed.
Instead, he chose understanding and respect. He understands that everyone has their own opinions and emotions, and there is no need to force agreement.
So, he tried not to mention "The Peony Pavilion" in front of Chen Wenqian, so as not to make each other feel uncomfortable.
This attitude of mutual respect and understanding has made the relationship between the two more harmonious and harmonious.
Instead of being conflicted by differences, they have learned to find common ground in their differences.
They supported and encouraged each other and became indispensable in each other's lives.
Regarding this relationship, Chen Wenqian said with gratitude: "I am very grateful for his understanding. He can be innovative, I can stand up to my opinions, and we don't have to change each other. ”
In the hall of Chinese culture at Tsinghua University, Liang Qichao and Chen Yinke, two masters, once taught side by side and served as teachers of Chinese culture.
Although the two are both masters of Chinese studies, in their work, they often have their own opinions due to academic differences.
Once, Liang Qichao's article on Tao Yuanming's motives for returning to seclusion attracted wide attention in the academic community.
However, Chen Yinke has a different view on this.
He did not choose to remain silent, but resolutely published his views in the journal and started a fierce academic debate with Liang Qichao.
Some people in the outside world speculated whether Chen Yinke's actions were motivated by provocation or competition against Liang Qichao.
However, Liang Qichao looked at all this with a gentleman's heart.
He smiled and said, "Don't live the belly of a gentleman with the heart of a villain. ”
In Liang's view, academic battles are only part of their quest for truth, and true friendship is far more important than these debates.
In this way, they are at loggerheads in academics, and you come and go, but the two have always maintained a good relationship in life and have become confidants who can't quarrel anymore.
In life, as long as you get along with others, there will inevitably be times when you have different opinions.
But this is often only due to different personalities and different positions, and does not represent who is right and who is wrong.
If you don't hold on to the contradictions, you can't rub a grain of sand into your eyes, and the result can only be a needle against the wheat, hurting others and yourself.
"Zengguang Xianwen" once said:"If a person is observant, there will be no fugitive, and when the water is clear, there will be no fish. ”
When we enter middle age and go through ups and downs, we should know how to manage relationships, and the key is to learn not to be serious.
Life is like a picture, and everyone has their own unique colors and lines.
Friends and companions, like the landscape in the painting, are flawed but also unique.
We don't need to find fault with their shortcomings, but appreciate them with understanding and respect.
Because, there is no perfect person in this world, just as there is no perfect painting.
We may regret the occasional mistakes or mistakes made by our family and partners, but what we need more at this time is tolerance and understanding.
-for-tat will only make each other's hearts more distancing, while tolerance and understanding can make love deeper and deeper over the years.
Life, after all, is a practice.
We can only demand that we be better, not that others be perfect.
In the time you are alone, stay sober and self-disciplined, and constantly cultivate your heart.
When our pattern becomes broader and our minds become open-minded, we can naturally live in harmony with all things in the world and enjoy the beauty and tranquility of life.
Learn not to be more serious, and embrace everyone we meet with tolerance and understanding.
Because the world is beautiful because of tolerance, and warm because of understanding.
Awake to see clearly, drunk to look down. As the saying goes, human affection is as thin as paper.
As a man, as long as you have been down-and-out once, you can appreciate what it means to be warm and cold, and the world is hot and cold.
But if you see everything too thoroughly, you will often lose your happiness.
When you reach a certain age, the real wisdom is to know how to reconcile with reality, to understand that it is better to look down on what you see clearly, and it is better to look down on it than to see through it.
In a program, the host asked Huang Bo curiously:
Mr. Huang Bo, did you ever feel the taste of being left out before you became famous? ”
Huang Bo smiled lightly and said frankly
Of course, how could there not be? ”
He recalled that when he was an unknown young singer, he was always ignored when he walked in the crowd, and even often ridiculed and bullied.
In those days, he felt the coldness and ruthlessness of the world, but he also learned to be strong and independent from it.
Now, he has become the center of attention, and everyone around him is polite and respectful.
However, for these past events, Huang Bo can face them with a detached attitude.
There was a relief in his expression, as if he was telling a story that had nothing to do with him.
Huang Bo did not resent those people and things that had hurt him, but regarded them as a valuable experience in his life.
For him, the bad people and bad things are just an experience to witness the growth of life, and now that the times have changed, he has already turned the page.
In the TV series "I'm Good in Another Country", there is a clip that impresses me.
As the president, Ji Nanjia walked into a bustling shopping mall one day and planned to choose a pair of comfortable shoes for himself.
However, when she walked into the shoe store, the shopping guide's eyes revealed a disapproving contempt.
Looking at her simple dress, the shopping guide mistakenly thought that she was just an ordinary person with a shy pocket, so her attitude was extremely cold and even polite.
After a few perfunctory remarks, the shopping guide called a newly hired intern to replace him, while he hid aside and chatted with his colleagues.
Her actions were undoubtedly a contempt and insult to Ji Nanjia, but Ji Nanjia was not angry because of this, nor did she choose to leave the store angrily.
Although the intern is not skilled enough in business, he is enthusiastic and serves Ji Nanjia wholeheartedly.
Ji Nanjia felt his sincerity and hard work, so she decided to surprise the intern.
She tried on a few pairs of shoes and bought them all in one go.
When the shopping guide saw this scene, she was stunned, she realized that she had missed a big order, so she hurriedly stepped forward and wanted to snatch this performance.
However, Ji Nanjia only smiled faintly, she refused the shopping guide's request, and insisted that the intern settle the bill for her.
In this process, she always maintained peace and calmness, and did not reveal any unpleasant emotions.
She used her actions to give a vivid educational lesson to the shopping guide.
Psychologist Adler said:Maturity is not about understanding things, but about understanding human nature.
The world is very big, and it is normal to meet a lot of people, and it is normal to meet some selfish and hypocritical people.
If you are entangled with it endlessly, entangled in resentment, in the end, it will only be yourself who suffers.
Right and wrong, it's good to be clear, there is no need to debunk it; The state of the world and human feelings, it's good to know, there is no need to talk about it.
To let go of other people's mistakes is to free oneself from one's own heart.
When we enter middle age, it is like walking on a road that has accumulated countless experiences and stories.
At this time, we gradually realized a truth:
Life often requires us to turn a blind eye and embrace its imperfections with tolerance and wisdom.
Sometimes, we have to learn to play dumb at the right time.
It's not really stupid, it's about choosing a more mellow and inclusive attitude to face all things in life.
Because true wisdom does not lie in being careful in everything and being shrewd everywhere, but in being able to see through without saying anything, and to be able to understand without being harsh.
Look at everything simply, and leave some leeway for the people around you.
This is not only respect and tolerance for others, but also kindness and tolerance for oneself.
After all, life is like a long journey, and we need not only the destination, but also the scenery and companionship along the way.
Staying drunk is not really indulging in illusory dreams, but learning to maintain a sense of poetry and romance in real life.
This drunkenness allows us to maintain an optimistic heart in the face of difficulties and walk calmly through the rugged road of life.
Awake to fight, drunk with fate. Everyone has a competitive heart, especially when they are not deeply involved in the world, they always feel that as long as they are willing to work hard, there is nothing they can't get.
But after repeated setbacks, you will find that many things cannot be done with enthusiasm alone.
The mature way of life is to have the attitude of striving for it, and the indifference of adapting to the situation.
I met a friend who worked for a research institute after graduating with a PhD.
He is full of longing and looking forward to shining on this fertile soil of scientific research.
However, the reality is not what he wanted.
In this organization, interpersonal relationships are like an invisible web that binds everyone's path to advancement.
As a Ph.D. from a different place, although he has outstanding work ability, he has not been able to get the promotion he deserves.
On the contrary, he often feels excluded and indifferent from his surroundings.
Faced with such a predicament, he did not indulge in self-pity.
Instead, he chose to face reality bravely and use his spare time to rechart his career path.
He knew that instead of struggling on a road that didn't work, it was better to turn around in time and find a new way out.
After a year of hard work, he successfully moved to a university and became a respected associate professor.
The news came back to his original unit, shocking his superiors.
In the eyes of his boss, he has always been the obscure, down-to-earth and hard-working employee, and never thought that he would choose to leave one day.
Now, when his friend talks about this choice, he admits that he still has some regrets in his heart.
After all, it has always been his dream to pursue a career in scientific research.
However, he also understands that life sometimes requires compromises and choices.
There are some paths that you can't get along even with your best efforts, so you should be brave enough to turn around and find a new direction.
As the old saying goes:Do what you should do, stop what you can't do.
We must do what we can to do our best. But when it comes to what is beyond its reach, it is even more rare to know how to stop when it is done.
In 1972, Mr. Jin Yong completed his masterpiece "The Legend of Deer and Ding", and then announced the closure of his pen, a decision that shocked countless readers who loved his works.
People are puzzled as to why he chose to retire at the peak of his career, and some people even speculate whether there is anything hidden in it.
However, Mr. Jin Yong's answer was beyond everyone's expectations.
He said frankly that he has always paid attention to depicting human nature and character.
In all his works, almost every character is unique, with no repetitive character traits.
This kind of in-depth exploration and portrayal of the character's character requires him to pay a lot of effort and energy.
After completing "The Legend of Deer and Ding", Mr. Jin Yong realized that it would be difficult for him to innovate if he continued to write.
He knows that the most precious quality of a writer is to constantly innovate and explore unknown areas.
So he decided to take advantage of the trend and stop writing.
When the water is full, it overflows, and the full moon is lacking, which is the way of nature and the normal way of life.
When a person's achievements reach their peak, no matter which direction he chooses next, it is inevitable that he will start to go downhill.
This is not a harbinger of decay, but a hint that life has given us - to give up and let go at the right time in order to better embrace the future.
Mr. Jin Yong, with his outstanding literary talent and profound wisdom of life, shows us the freedom of retreating from the rapids.
He understands that a person's strength does not lie in how much he has, but in his ability to give up and let go at the right time.
This kind of freedom is not only a clear understanding of one's own ability, but also a deep understanding of life attitude.
When we enter middle age and read all the world, we should recognize the boundaries of our abilities and understand our own weights.
As Yishu said: "No matter what you do, there is a limit to what you do, you can only do this, if it is not good enough, you have to give up." ”
We don't have to push ourselves to be perfect, and we don't have to work too hard to meet the expectations of others.
We must learn to accept our imperfections, learn to let go when appropriate, and let our hearts be truly liberated.
When people reach middle age, the best practice is to know what they can't do and look at the ups and downs of life with a natural attitude.
We need to learn to find balance in our busy lives and pursue our dreams without forgetting inner peace.
Only in this way can we go wider and wider on the road of life, and more and more calmly.
The world is impermanent, and people's hearts go back and forth.
We are always obsessed with finding the truth of everything, and we want to see everything clearly.
However, such pursuits often leave us with a heavy burden, making life complicated and exhausting.
Mai Jia once wrote in his "Sea of Life":
"The height of life is not how many things you see, but how many things you look down on. ”
Sometimes, seeing too clearly can lead us into a whirlpool of troubles.
Too shrewd calculations can make us physically and mentally exhausted.
Life should be like that half-awake and half-drunk state, just right to maintain a state of confusion.
This kind of confusion is not real stupidity, but a kind of wisdom, a deep understanding of life.
Truly intelligent people, they know how to keep a confused heart at the right time.
ClickThumbs up, leave half sober and half drunk, and live your own joy.
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