Recently, I've been stuck in a troubling predicament that I would like to share with you and hope to get some advice. I am 32 years old, I have been married to my husband for five years and we have a lovely son. Outwardly, our family life looks harmonious, and there is a lot of love between husband and wife. But actually, there has always been a problem between my husband and me, and that is some "privacy" issues in our respective minds.
These "privacy" are not some shady secrets, but some corners of our hearts that we are not willing to share with each other. At first, we would try to understand each other's thoughts and feelings, but as time went on, we found that we seemed to be getting farther and farther apart.
I didn't think this could continue, so I started to reflect on whether we had a communication problem. After some thought, I found that the problem between us is actually very simple, that is, some of the topics we often talk about touch each other's "privacy", thus making the other party feel uncomfortable.
I'm sure many couples will encounter similar problems, so what exactly is the "privacy" that we should avoid when chatting with our significant other? I'm going to talk to you about it today.
Past emotional experiences.
In the process of getting along, some couples often talk about each other's past emotional experiences. Some people may think that it is not a big deal to know about the past of their other half, but in fact, this topic can easily lead to unnecessary conflicts.
My husband and I have encountered such a situation. He had been in a five-year relationship, and I didn't know they were connected at first. Once, when I accidentally mentioned the girl's name, he immediately became nervous and started arguing with me. Since then, I've learned that past emotional experiences are sensitive for everyone and should not be touched lightly.
Worries and uneasiness about the future.
It's normal for everyone to feel worried and uneasy about the future, but sharing too much with your significant other will only stress the other person. My husband and I sometimes talk about our plans for the future, but every time we talk about them, he always seems anxious. I know that he is worried that his career will not be going well and that he will not be able to give me and my children a better life. But I hope he understands that as his wife, I am willing to face the challenges ahead with him. Too much worry will only make us more anxious, and true happiness lies in enjoying the moment and cherishing the people in front of us.
Conflicts between family members.
Conflicts between family members are inevitable in every family. Some couples like to tell their partner about the conflicts in the family, hoping to get support and understanding. But doing so is often counterproductive and exacerbates the conflict. My husband and I sometimes get into arguments over family matters, but we both understand that too much blame and complaining will only complicate matters. Therefore, when faced with family conflicts, we should calmly analyze the problem and try to find a solution. If you really can't resolve the issue, you may want to seek professional help or put the dispute on hold for now.
I want every woman to understand all of this "privacy": try to avoid touching on these topics when chatting with men. Of course, this is not to say that we can't share our feelings and thoughts with our significant other, but we must learn to grasp the sense of proportion and method. Be more understanding and tolerant when communicating, and less blame and complain. Only in this way will our relationship be more stable and harmonious.
If you have similar troubles or ideas, please leave a message and communicate with me. Let's work together for a happy marriage!