When his father died, the eldest brother talked and laughed, but when the mother left, the eldest brother did not say a word
My eldest brother and I are both working far away from home, many years ago, we basically only go home once during the Chinese New Year, when we get home, my father may be chopping wood in the yard, my mother may be cooking in the kitchen, whether it is me or my eldest brother, she will be very excited, ask us if we have eaten, and start making dumplings without waiting for us to finish. At that time, I felt young, and every time I came back, someone cooked for me, but it hasn't worked for a few yearsMy eldest brother and I, if time is convenient, will think about going home and having a look.
A few years ago, my father left, suddenly, without any warning, without leaving any of us with any chance to react, not at all a chance to react. I was the last to receive **, so I hurried back from the field, and when I got home, it was already more than eleven o'clock at night, and I saw a scene I didn't want to see when I entered the yard, next to my two sisters kneeling. This is the second time our family has held a funeral, and the eldest brother is obviously panicked, but at the banquet, the eldest brother still talked and laughed. However, a few years later, my mother also left, and when my mother left, the eldest brother didn't say a word, and even "hid" directly.
Why is my father's funeral the second time our family has held a funeral?
Because before that, a few decades ago, my second brother left, and at that time I had just started working, and my second brother's child was still a little bit, and now I look at it, the little one has grown up**, and I suddenly feel that time flies so fast.
My parents have been living in my second brother's house, and after my second sister-in-law remarried, I kept Jiaming, and my parents have been taking care of me, of course, my eldest brother and I will do our best to help Jiaming. In the first few years of my part-time job, I didn't get married, although the three of us brothers had our own houses, but many times when I went home for the Chinese New Year, I went directly to my second brother's house to live, because my parents were there, and I followed.
His parents were lifelong farmers, had farmed all their lives, and had never left the village, but they finally sent Jia Ming out and went to college in other places. After graduating from college, Jia Ming stayed in the field, his hometown, and now he is completely left with his parents and two old people.
One year, when I went home for the New Year, I saw that my mother's hair was much whiter, her waist began to bend, and my father's leg hurt worse than in previous years. That year, it was the first time we communicated about our parents' old age, and we told my eldest brother whether it was time to consider the possibility of returning to his hometown for development.
But it's easy to say, but it's actually very difficult.
My eldest brother and I have been working outside for decades, and we have long been rooted in the field 365 days a year, and I can't wait to live in the field for 360 days.
Unexpectedly, when we were worried, Jia Ming expressed his willingness to return to his hometown, find a job in his hometown, and buy a house when he has money in the future, so that it is convenient to go home, or it is good to let his parents go to live in his house.
However, Jia Ming is under a lot of pressure, which each of us knows, he does not have a car, although he has returned to the city to work, but the city is 200 miles away from our hometown, every time I take the bus back, I get up at more than four o'clock in the morning, and I can't get home until one o'clock in the afternoon, and Jia Ming has serious motion sickness, every time I go back, I have to rest for a long time to be able to ease up.
So, my mother felt sorry for Jiaming and didn't let him go home often, and said that everything was fine at home, so there was no need to worry about it.
This seems to be true, although the parents are old, seventy or eighty years old, but they are still very strong, and only in the past few years have they begun to stop farming, but the mother is not idle, but grows a lot of vegetables in the yard, and they can't eat them all, so they give them to the neighbors to eat, and sometimes they can give out a basket.
My mother always said that as long as you are not lazy, you will definitely have enough to eat.
It's true, my parents have been very diligent all their lives, and they have taken care of all 5 of our brothers and sisters, but I didn't expect that in my old age, there was no one around, and until the day my father died, there was no one around.
What are you afraid of when you're away from home?
It's not that I don't pay my salary, it's not that I have to pay rent, and it's not that my children have to pay living expenses with me, what I'm most afraid of is receiving ** from home in the middle of the night or early in the morning, even if it's a friend who brings the deceased to call**, I will be nervous and dare not pick it up.
Because the family knows that it is not easy for us to go out, they are reluctant to call in the middle of the night or early in the morning**, unless it is a last resort.
And at five o'clock that morning, before I woke up, I was woken up by my mobile phone.
At first glance, it was the ** at home, but on the other end, it was not my father's voice, nor my mother's voice, but it was very urgent, and I was asked to come back quickly, saying that my father was no longer good.
Can't do it anymore? What does it mean if it's not good?
Is it a sudden illness? Or do you need money for hospitalization? Or was it hit by a car? Why the hell is it not working?
As soon as I hung up, my eldest brother called.
"Our dad is gone, come back quickly. ”
Big brother's words directly made me stupid.
What's gone?
Why is it gone?
Yesterday, just yesterday, I also called the family **, saying that I would take the child home to live for a few days after the holiday, and the person was fine yesterday, and even the mother said that yesterday afternoon my father ate 2 steamed buns, drank a bowl of porridge, and rode a bicycle to the field at the entrance of the village to see the crops, how could he be gone?
However, even if it's 10,000 I don't believe you, as long as one is sure.
That's OK.
I found a private car and went straight back to my home.
It was late at night when I got home, there was a light in the yard that was not too bright, and there were white candles flashing at the door, and the two older sisters were kneeling at the door, and the eldest brother saw me, raised his head, looked into the house again, and let me in.
"Go see our father, take another look, you won't see it again. ”
When I entered the house, my eldest sister told me not to cry, saying that my mother had just fallen asleep.
My mother hasn't eaten for a day, she is already old, and she can't bear this blow after experiencing it, plus if she doesn't eat, people are really dying.
I kowtowed to my father and stood up to see my mother.
Mother slept in the Westinghouse, the door was not closed. The room was pitch black, I couldn't see anything, I just stood at the door and looked at my mother, I didn't go in, I don't know how my mother survived this day, but it must have been very painful.
When her father died, she had no one around. She obviously has 5 children, but none of them are around, perhaps, she found a neighbor to call my eldest brother, or my eldest sister, and then she waited in the yard and waited, waited.
Maybe wait until the eldest sister came over first, and she cried once.
When the second sister came over, she cried again.
Until late at night, my mother went to bed and didn't wait for me to come back, I guess she was always worried about me on the road, whether I was safe, whether I had eaten, and when I got home, whether I was hungry or not.
In the past every winter, my eldest brother and I came back from the field, and since we got in the car, my mother has been worried and worried, ** kept fighting, asking where it was, asking if it had eaten, and asking when it would be home. Asked all the way.
This time, Mother didn't ask any of us where we were, nor when we got home.
The funeral took place as scheduled, and now everything is mechanized, and no one is needed at all.
I remember that when the second brother left, all the old and young masters in the village came over, and everyone was carried from home to the outside of the village step by step, and every time he changed hands, Jia Ming had to turn around and kneel, which was to thank the big guy for helping him. Every time he changed hands, he would kneel down and kowtow, and after the change of hands was over, the person in charge would shout, and then Garmin would continue to move forward.
Now, after many years, who would have thought that everything was mechanically operated and no people were needed at all, so soon and quickly, the funeral was over.
The banquet was held at the eldest brother's house.
The eldest brother is more likely to be open-minded, busy before and after, greet this person, greet that person. Almost all of these relatives in the family were invited by the eldest brother door-to-door, and although my eldest brother and I didn't understand all the procedures at the funeral, we also asked people one by one and went through them one by one. The eldest brother was also busy in those days.
The mother was alone, sitting at the second brother's house, and everyone went to the eldest brother's house for dinner.
I wanted to stay with my mother, but the eldest sister said that she could stay, and asked me to hurry to the eldest brother's house to help greet these relatives who came to the banquet, and I couldn't let the eldest brother work alone, he couldn't be busy.
My eldest brother and I have been playing Luo.
I have also participated in the funeral in the village before, to be honest, the funeral banquet in the village is more laughter, more talk, even if the suona at the door is sad, it seems that no one else is sad except for the people of the main family.
Even, some people will complain that they lost a day's income because they came back to attend the funeral.
In the village, funeral feasts, to put it bluntly, are for the living. No one is sad, they all talk and laugh.
What about the big brother? The same is true.
He went to toast one by one, talking and laughing, and asking the family to eat more, and talking all kinds of things, and the smile on his face never broke.
Actually, I didn't understand it before, at least, the main family should be sad.
However, Mother arranged for us not to cry too much, and even if we were, we only had to cry at the grave, and at the feast, we had to greet the guests, and not to cry. When people cry, you have to stop them from crying.
I don't understand and I don't understand.
The eldest brother smiled. He said, if we don't cry, people will know that in our family, someone is holding up the façade.
The village will always be like this, your family is big, people look at you more, you live well, and people respect you, but if your family is small, it may be a small family of three or five people, and that person has the confidence to occupy a few acres of land for you, because they feel that no one will support you.
The old man died, and the sophistication of his life's business ended at this moment. Will this family collapse in the future? Isn't it okay?
Of course not. When my father left, my eldest brother was the face of our family, and he said that he couldn't cry, but he had to laugh at the people who came to the banquet, and told them that even if my father was gone, our family would not collapse, and the eldest brother would stand up.
Of course, these are all things that I slowly learned later.
It's just that a few years later, his mother also died, but at his mother's funeral, the eldest brother was a different look, and he couldn't even see him.
A few years after my father's death, my mother's health deteriorated year by year.
I never believed in the saying that after one person leaves first, the other person is suffering.
Who knows, when this happened to me, I didn't believe it, but I also believed it.
After my father left, my mother seemed to have turned on the "accelerator", not to mention that it was the same every year, but it was the same every month.
A few years later, my mother also died.
We all came back from out of town for the funeral.
This time, it was obviously much smoother than my father's funeral, and my eldest brother and I were not panicked or nervous, and everything went smoothly.
The banquet was also held at the eldest brother's house. Even the chef who cooks is still the same master back then.
At the banquet, I kept toasting or talking to my relatives, but my eldest brother was nowhere to be seen.
I think he's tired, after all, the eldest brother has been busy these days, he has stayed up a few big nights, and he really has no energy, but I'm thinking, it's not that I can't show up, right?
Where did you go?
I haven't seen anyone at his house for a long time, so I'm very confused, but my eldest brother is not there, so I have to stabilize all the scenes, and I can't let people think that our family is really collapsed.
I have been toasting, talking, and chatting with all the guests.
At about two o'clock in the afternoon, the guests were gone. In the yard, there was a mess.
The master who cooks is cooking his own food at this time, and as soon as they settle the bill after eating, it's time to leave.
I'll go check out. The master knew me, after all, my father and mother had passed away a few years ago, and he was the one who cooked.
He took the money and took out 200 and gave it to me, "Mourning, big brother." ”
After I was busy, I didn't see my eldest brother, and I muttered in my heart, what is he doing?I was drinking and chatting just now, and he didn't come out to help me block it.
I went back to my second brother's house, where my parents lived before they died.
When I got home, I went straight to the Westinghouse, where my mother lived.
As soon as I arrived at the door, I saw the eldest brother holding the portrait of his mother, sitting on the bed where his mother died, occasionally humming a small song in his mouth, occasionally muttering a word to himself, and occasionally swinging his feet.
Look at his feet, there are cigarette handles.
I don't know when the eldest brother came over, and I don't know how long the eldest brother has been sitting here, but I know that after the last time he saw off the guests, the eldest brother hid in the house alone, and it was like this.
He said he wanted to cry, but he couldn't hold back and couldn't let the family see it.
So, he's humming, swinging his legs, perhaps, distracting.
I sat next to my eldest brother and took the portrait from his hand, only to realize that water was beginning to drip on the frame.
The eldest brother still cried.
I cried too. Compared with the death of our father, the loss of our mother makes us sad even more.
I used to think that I should go home early, go home early to see my mother, and I couldn't let her be so lonely.
But my mother is also gone, and in the future, there will be no one in this family, and when we go home, no one will ask us if the road is blocked, and no one will give us dumplings after we get home.
Never again.
After my father left, we still had thoughts, and after my mother left, we only had thoughts left.