When the cancer pain hit, my head was pressed against the head of the bed, my body was twisted, my hair and clothes were wet with sweat, and every minute seemed to be stretched infinitely.
This is the 43rd month since Xiao Mei was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer. At the beginning, some doctors concluded that she would not live for more than three months.
When the pain eased slightly, she would tutor the child's homework, help him organize his school bag, rack her brains to satisfy his desire to build Lego with a free trial class, and pay attention to the ** situation of her hemiplegic father. Her own work experience in a large factory has gradually become a distant memory.
Her battle with cancer is also far more than physical, after the interruption of income, many dead of nights, she will weigh what the high medical expenses mean for her family, children, and lovers. While experiencing the torture of illness, she is also experiencing the rebaptism of the concept of money and life and death.
The year before I got sick, my medical insurance account cost was 3,285 yuan, in 2020, it was 94,565 yuan, in 2021, it was 155,560 yuan, in 2022, my condition was relieved, it was 64,109 yuan, and the data for 2023 has not yet come out. ”
This is only the cost of medical insurance, not including self-financed drugs, equipment fees, nursing fees, transportation expenses, ......From 2020 to now, at least 1 million have been spent. As the numbers accumulated, Xiao Mei's voice became more and more excited.
Colorful invoices and bills are piled together, almost every one is a 5-digit number. "Some people say that what can be solved with money is not a problem, but when it comes to seeing a doctor, money is the problem. ”
An invoice for 12,020 yuan of drug expenses.
The watershed moment in Xiao Mei's life was on July 2, 2020, a week after the physical examination found an abnormality, and the MRI and puncture results both pointed to malignant tumors. Looking at the "34-year-old" on the test sheet, the doctor said: "At such a young age, it is suspected that it is the worst triple-negative breast cancer, locally advanced, with a 5-year survival rate of less than 30%. ”
Hearing the doctor's verdict, Xiao Mei felt like hitting a wall, unable to move, unable to push, thinking that the horizon of life was still far away, but unconsciously it had been forced in front of her.
The understanding of the process of fighting cancer comes from a cruel skill. Xiao Mei's mother was also a breast cancer patient who died of illness in 2010. When her mother had her first operation, Xiao Mei was in the first grade of primary school, and she accompanied her mother to see a doctor, undergo chemotherapy, and sign ...... since she was a child
After her diagnosis, she used all the experience of her first 34 years of life to make a quick decision, asking the doctor to minimize the risk** at the cost of removing not only the right breast, but also the prophylactic removal of both ovaries and appendages.
She decided to combine the breast and ovaries into one to save some money.
After the surgery, the doctor told her that the surgery was "worth it" because there was an early carcinoma in situ on her fallopian tube that was difficult to detect on imaging. "If that thing develops, I really won't be able to survive. ”
At the same time, her cancer cells had metastasized, and there were 47 lymph nodes in her armpits.
The doctor suggested that she try a new targeted drug, 4 weeks for a course of treatment, a course of 32,000 yuan, did not enter the medical insurance catalog, purely at her own expense. After applying for medical assistance, buy a course of treatment and get a course of treatment free, for a total of 1 year 2080,000 yuan, 1.02 million for 5 years.
Xiao Mei asked the doctor at the time, "How long do you want to eat?" ”
The doctor said, "Eat until you can't afford it." ”
When her colleague learned of her situation, she launched a fundraiser on the company's intranet. Xiao Mei said that standing on the edge of the cliff of fate, someone stretches out a hand to you, and it is an instinct to choose to hold that hand, and as for the sense of shame, there is no time to scruple.
Under this fundraising post, 1,225 colleagues cheered for Xiao Mei's message, and their donations supported her until June 2022. When Xiao Mei was worried about the ** expense again, the company's commercial insurance was upgraded to a million medical insurance, and special drugs began to be reimbursed, which made her see a glimmer of light in the dark.
During the more than 3 years she lived in the oncology ward, Xiao Mei repeatedly chewed on the impermanence of life and the complexity of human nature. Xiao Mei has met many people who give up because they have no money and accept the mercy of fate.
Family members of patients begging near the hospital Photo by Xiao Mei.
After a long conversation with me, she sent a report entitled "Patients with advanced tumors are saved, but one shot is 3.7 million yuan", saying: "You see, without money, it is really difficult to encounter diseases. The hospital won't save your life unconditionally because of love, that's the reality. ”
Taking January 2024 as an example, Xiao Mei's family of 6 people spent a total of 55,000 yuan, including her medical expenses, 8,000 yuan mortgage, her son's schooling, parents' pension, family daily expenses, etc.
After Xiao Mei fell ill, her husband's salary of 11,000 yuan was the only income for the family**, and after the company's commercial insurance reimbursed a certain amount of medical expenses, there was a gap of nearly 30,000 yuan, staring at her like an abyss.
Relatives and friends with better economic conditions were borrowed by her. "Everyone has to live, and it can't always lend you. ”
Her physical condition did not allow her to return to work in a large factory, and she also considered doing some part-time jobs at home to support her family, but repeated chemotherapy, deterioration, and cancer pain dragged her feet hard.
In 2022, 3 years after receiving stent surgery for myocardial infarction, my father suddenly had a cerebral infarction and needed a craniotomy. When she rushed to the hospital to hold her father's hand, he was shaking, and so was she.
In 2022, Xiao Mei's father suffered two strokes.
After the operation, my father was hemiplegic and lost his ability to take care of himself. She had tried to wipe him up, but she had already exhausted herself just by supporting herself to sit in front of the hospital bed. "There's no way, you have to hire a nurse to borrow money. ”
The pension insurance for urban and rural residents reimburses part of the medical expenses, but the nursing fee, the first fee, and the nutrition fee can only be paid by themselves, "about 50,000 yuan".
The following year, Xiao Mei stopped her son's biologics.
My son is 10 years old this year, has a serious allergy, and has been seeking medical treatment to no avail, and has relied on biological agents to maintain his health since he was six or seven years old. "A shot is 3,600 yuan, and more than a dozen injections are required a year, and adults can take medical insurance, and children pay for themselves. ”
The biological agents needed by Xiao Mei's son exceeded 3,600 yuan per injection.
Soon after the drug was stopped, my son's hand returned to its former state, ulcerating, red and swollen like chilblains. "I also don't want to save money on my children, but reality will slap you in the face. She very much agrees with the famous line in the movie "I Am Not the God of Medicine":
There is only one disease in the world, and that is the disease of poverty. ”
She had read "Patient Without Borders" written by cancer patient Shi Yonggang, which detailed his experience of seeking medical treatment overseas. "I'm so envious, but I can't drag the family into hell. ”
Xiao Mei was taking stock of her family's expenses all the time, and she couldn't open source, so she could only try her best to save money.
She imagined countless times that if she could have had a critical illness insurance in the first place, she would have been more confident even if her income was interrupted. "At least, for a long time, don't worry about money. ”
Since July 2020, Xiao Mei has been on leave for 43 months.
According to the law, an employee of an enterprise shall not be terminated from a labor contract for a period of time when he or she is suspended from work due to illness. This period is called the "employee medical period", and the medical period is calculated according to the length of service, which generally does not exceed 24 months. But out of humanitarianism, the company has reserved a position for Xiao Mei to this day.
She clung to this straw, and the commercial insurance paid by the company for her was the only commercial insurance she owned, which reimbursed a large part of the medical expenses and claimed a total of 280,000 yuan.
However, 3 months ago, Xiao Mei was diagnosed with bone metastasis of cancer cells and advanced systemic cancer. In the complex data model of cancer, in addition to the complex numbers of survival, complications, and white blood cells, money is the more direct variable.
After falling ill, Xiao Mei often regretted not buying additional insurance. This is also a sore spot for most cancer patients.
In Xiao Mei's patient group, in addition to the ** plan, everyone also often shares new types of insurance that can be insured with illness. Patients, who flocked to it, were often disappointed that "no insurance company was willing to insure me".
In 2021, Hangzhou launched a very relaxed Huimin insurance, which can be insured with illness, although the reimbursement ratio is only 30%, Xiao Mei still bought it as soon as possible.
In the past three years, when she met close relatives and friends, she would take the initiative to come up and say that if she didn't buy insurance, she would buy one as soon as possible. In this way, when encountering fate, you can at least have the right to choose the best plan.
After some words, she could easily read the indifference and even resistance in the other party's eyes, just like her former self. "When I wasn't sick, I felt that I was in good health, and I never thought that I would collapse all of a sudden, let alone buy insurance. ”
Before the illness fell on her, she always thought that insurance was a fraud. The stereotype of insurance made her miss the flash of buying insurance countless times, but fortunately, the million-dollar medical insurance that the company bought for employees pulled her.
Xiao Mei's illness extended the link of the family history of cancer, and after she could not configure more insurance for herself, she bought all the insurance she could buy for her son on Alipay, "good medical insurance, children's comprehensive accident insurance, and children's critical illness insurance".
Xiao Mei has a total of 3 types of cancer: breast cancer, ovarian cancer, and secondary sarcoma. The three are independent of each other and happen to the same person, which the doctor said is a very low probability situation.
But for the patient, the probabilities are only 0 and 1.
In Xiao Mei's company's intranet, the post of fundraising for her has been published for more than two years, and from time to time there will be people leaving messages, and many people have begun to re-understand insurance because of Xiao Mei's experience, Qi An is one of them.
When Qi An saw Xiao Mei's story for the first time, he had a strong sense of substitution, because they had similar labels - middle-aged people in Dachang, only child, mother and wife. While she did her best to transfer money to Xiao Mei's Alipay, she also insured her family with medical insurance on Alipay.
Two years later, Qi An also experienced a life and death test. In August last year, her husband was diagnosed with a suspected pancreatic tumor during a medical examination.
After consulting various materials, she knows very well what the "king of cancer" means to her husband and a family. Anxiety made her look up the best hospital for specialized diseases after getting a further report. Fortunately, the test results were only lymphadenopathy caused by tuberculosis, not malignancy.
There was a false alarm, the storm was dusty, and an anxious heart was completely exposed to the background of the times. Qi An and her husband are both only children, with 4 elderly people above and 2 children below. Her husband used to work in a big Internet company like Qi An, and as she grew older, the news of layoffs splashed like a spark on the **, so they had to be vigilant.
In the past few years, the husband has entered a more stable state-owned enterprise, and his income has decreased accordingly. Qi An still sticks to Dachang to ensure the family's living standards.
The couple's configuration, in which one guarantees income and the other guarantees a way out, is not uncommon in families composed of only children of this generation. Stability has become the direction pursued by this family, and "critical illness insurance", "disability insurance" and "education fund" ......These new terms of insurance have also broken into their lives.
Her husband's false alarm made Qi An so close to the illness for the first time, and she once heard in the news "resigned as an escort, sold a house and a car, a night flight, and a cancer hotel......All have specific meanings.
This New Year, when the uncertainty brought about by the age of the elderly strikes again, she seriously thinks about how to prevent the whole family from being dragged down due to income interruption in case of serious illness and medical expenses can be reimbursed in addition to medical expenses.
After configuring medical insurance, she once wanted to buy critical illness insurance, but this plan has been shelved due to the high premiums.
After some comparison, she bought "Tsingshan Income Protection Insurance" on Alipay, which has lower premiums and higher leverage than major illness insurance, but can cope with income interruption due to illness, and there is no economic problem, with a maximum of 20,000 yuan per month and a maximum of 100 months, filling the gap in addition to critical illness insurance.
There are more and more employees of big factories like me who buy insurance, so let's relieve some anxiety. ”
Life is priceless, but it has been marked with a price, and fighting cancer is not a battle that can be solved by just talking about feelings.
Going through a cancer** bill, confirming the meaning behind a medical term, and directly dealing with a consuming cancer patient are two different psychological shocks.
When I spoke to Xiao Mei, her face was intertwined with light and shadow, and there was damp vitality and layers of sharpness in her tears and sneers. She was the one with the storm in her chest, and no one could see the storm in its entirety except herself, but even if she was just swept by the storm's tail, it made people tremble very much, like a powerful force passing through her body.
Today, she travels between home and the hospital, taking six meals a day, hoping that her blood sugar level will reach a level that can be treated with chemotherapy. The new targeted drug flowed through her body, "I really want to live." If you don't even have the courage to try, you won't even have the right to fail. ”
The biggest feature of life is uncertainty, which is like opening a blind box, and no one can know the blessings and misfortunes until the last moment.
Xiao Mei hopes that her story can bring even a little inspiration to people, and do something to prepare for a rainy day in advance, such as buying an insurance to add a little certainty to herself. After all, no one knows what will happen in the next second.
Xiao Mei and Qi An are pseudonyms in the article.
Part *** Oriental IC