Compassion is not weakness, but untested strength. "
In this complex world, each of us longs to understand and be understood, to care and be cared for. However, in this pursuit, we often forget the line between emotion and reason.
Don't pity anyone, especially relatives and friends, this sentence may sound a little cold, but the deep meaning behind it is worth pondering.
In life, we often meet relatives and friends who need help. Out of a good instinct, it's easy for us to feel compassion for them and even do anything to help them. However, behind this impulse, there is often a hidden fact that each person's situation, whether good or bad, is the result of his or her personal choices and efforts. When we unconditionally show compassion to someone, we may actually be inadvertently contributing to the formation of their dependency, or even the breeding of hate.
For example, if you lend money to a relative who often borrows money from you but never pays it back, if you lend it to him easily every time, then your kindness is actually encouraging his irresponsibility. He may think that no matter what he does, someone will pay for him. Such a person will only make you feel disappointed and miserable in the end. Therefore, for those who seem to be worthy of sympathy, we need to analyze and treat them with a more rational attitude, rather than blindly giving help.
Soft-heartedness may sound like a virtue, but in some cases, it can be a stumbling block in our growth. Being too soft-hearted often makes us lose judgment when faced with choices and even make decisions that are unfavorable to us. This state of mind, in fact, is an emotional dependency disorder that makes us afraid to reject others and to see others hurt by our decisions.
However, growing up, we must learn to reject and protect ourselves in moderation. This is not to say that we need to be callous, but that we need to learn to care for ourselves as much as we care about others. Only in this way can we maintain our inner balance and avoid being swallowed up by bottomless pits.
In relationships, there is a sad phenomenon: those we once unconditionally supported and pitied, often end up hurting us deeply. This kind of injury is not only a material loss, but also a psychological trauma. Because, in our hearts, these people occupy a special place, and when they betray or hurt us, the pain is far greater than the material loss.
The root cause of this phenomenon is that our help to them is based on an unequal basis. Our compassion and support often do not teach them to be self-reliant and grateful, but may instead contribute to their selfishness and dependence. When they no longer need our help, they are likely to choose to leave, or even hurt us in the process of leaving, because in their eyes, our value has been squeezed out.
This is not to say that we should become callous and blind to those in need. Instead, we should be more sensible in our help. This means that while we help others, we also teach them how to be self-reliant and how to be grateful. Only in this way can our help be truly meaningful and promote each other's growth, rather than relying on each other unilaterally.
In short, in this complex society, our goodness needs wisdom as a guide. We cannot easily give help just because of sympathy, especially for friends and family. We need to use reason to measure when and how to help in order to avoid possible harm in the future. At the same time, we also need to be brave enough to face our soft-heartedness, learn to say "no" at the right time, and protect ourselves from unnecessary harm. In this way, we can build healthier, more balanced relationships and make our lives better.