Reading cured my mental exhaustion
During the Spring Festival, I saw the title of King Will's book "Another Day I Don't Want to Go to Work", and I became interested, so I finished reading it. Although it is an interview method for several people, the relatively successful examples of different positions can allow us to have some reference and some resonant topics to reflect on.
Especially in the past few years, the working environment at home and abroad has been very sluggish, and everyone is more difficult, so it is necessary to read more books, think more, and plan more.
I will continue to share my reading notes today, and I hope I can also give you some help.
1.There is no need to feel inferior because of your origin
Many children from rural areas can only enter big cities when they go to university, and they will feel new and inferior to many new things, and feel that they are far behind others.
I even remember the first time I came to the city where I went to college to see how to use the bus to prevent it from going in the wrong direction, and the subway too.
Big city goods are very rich, I only drank Starbucks and McDonald's when I went to college, but children in big cities eat these from a young age, and they are used to it. In fact, if you experience this a few more times, you can quickly smooth out the difference.
However, as the book says, these are actually basic cognitive information, and these differences will soon be erased, and there is no need to have any inferiority.
On the other hand, urban children may not have seen many fruit trees in the countryside, and they cannot distinguish between leeks and garlic seedlings. This information does not affect your growth and values. And there are gains and losses.
2.We all became strangers
Many people like Li Jian's "Stranger", not only because Li Jian's lyrics and songs are well written, but also because his lyrics are too resonant.
When you are lost on the road, you can see the light, and unconsciously treat other places as your hometown, only occasionally sad, inadvertently looking into the distance.
The former native voice is quietly hidden, and the unspeakable promise has always been reassured.
There are many times when tears are about to flow, and that window is what makes me strong. The small door, as well as her gentleness, gave me warmth and companionship. 」
When the small-town problem-solvers walked to the other end of the single-plank bridge, the funnel of society was already sifting through layers. The two of us have actually owned a lot in the past ten years in Beijing: we have a car, a house, a hukou, a marriage and a family of our own. Although we have lived in Beijing for so many years, we still feel that we are not Beijingers in our hearts.We had to drift, we had to be strangers, we had to make other places our home, but our roots were difficult to settle down, and there was always a sense of wandering.
This is the current situation of migrant workers.
3.The necessary pause is for the sake of **
When we were young, we all wanted to grow up, we all wanted to do a career, or contribute to our family, and we were in a hurry to grow up and didn't know what it meant to grow up.
Now I know that growing up means that a lot of simplicity, beauty, purity and innocence have to be thrown away.
The biggest change when I grew up was busyness.
When you're really at work, you don't have time to think about it, you don't have time to get distracted, and sometimes you don't even have time to eat slowly at lunch, because you only have so much time to get your work done.
Before 2018, I had a similar life trajectory to most people, and I didn't think much about the point of doing these jobs on my own. After successively experiencing the head Internet companies and some vertical industry companies, the work has also changed from product manager to product director. I just went to work and fell in love, and that's what I thought of life at that time.
When I traveled to Nepal in 2018, I was blown away by the people and things there. I found that both adults and children in the local area had a hard life, but their eyes were full of light, and I began to seriously think about why they were so poor and so happy. A month after I came back from Nepal, I quit my job to find out what I really wanted to do. 」
4.Accepting one's imperfections is a must for growth
When we grow up, we will always be unable to accept some of our shortcomings or shortcomings, and want to change or hide, but gradually we will find that some aspects cannot be changed or hidden.
Therefore, it is necessary to learn your own shortcomings and shortcomings, which is not a compromise, but a sign of maturity. It's important to accept yourself, whether it's your character, your abilities, or the choices you've made.
When I reconciled with myself, I began to do things completely by feeling. I think everyone's talents are different, and their personality attributes are also different. Change is my trait, and embracing change is my natural gift, and I'm starting to embrace that.
Just as we face all kinds of anxiety and anxiety, and one of the ways to overcome it is to surrender, that is, to accept, stability may also be another kind of anxiety!
Thinking of the "Biography of Su Dongpo" that I shared and watched recently, Su Shi's character is worth learning from our contemporaries, no matter how many times he has been degraded, he still lives as a chic and open-minded person.
In fact, the flow of our lives is often driven by an "invisible hand", and the owner of this hand is our soul, our "big self", which directs our life script and allows us to move towards a higher version of ourselves. In fact, many things that happen in life are not actively matched, but the thrust generated by your inner thoughts, pushing you to make choices. Many times we feel anxious, and it may also be that you are calling to you from the future. 』
In the workplace, I know that many friends will feel anxious, such as 30-year-old anxiety, big factory anxiety, etc. My only advice is that when you're constantly anxious, all you have to do is get out of here. Think about what you really want before you run away, make a solid plan, follow your heart and chart an achievable path, and then just do it.
So I really want to tell many friends who have career anxiety that if the inner subtext of anxiety is to leave, then do it firmly. Otherwise, you will block the pathways of your heart and body, and you will only make yourself more and more depressed.
Accepting your imperfect self is the first step to discovering a better version of yourself.
5.Everyone has dreamed, but has it come true?
I believe that many people have fantasized about what they can do one day, or realize their dreams. But most of us have never thought about how to plan and implement from fantasy to ideal.
I always see or hear that others have achieved their dreams, and then I remember that I once had a dream.
Now my husband and I have opened a teahouse in Chengdu, and this is also a coincidence. Because I thought four or five years ago that I would do some physical business after I was 35 years old and not suitable for Internet companies, and my husband happened to have a dream of opening a teahouse. We saw a lot of shops in Chengdu that were not suitable, and when we were about to give up this idea, suddenly he found a particularly suitable location for someone to sublet, ** is also quite reasonable, it only took three days for us to negotiate. 」
In my personal life, I now have a clear goal, which is to "live out myself". This living out involves both mental and material satisfaction. I think that only by truly living for others can we be convincing and influence life with life.
6.It's great to be a loving person
I used to be celibate, because my family of origin had caused me a lot of trauma. I've always been in a state where I'm very lacking in love and I don't believe there is love in the world. As I continued to heal myself, especially my childhood trauma and my relationship with my parents, I began to believe in my heart that there was intimacy in this world that could nourish me.
At this level, meeting my husband is very important to me. Although he didn't graduate from a prestigious school and didn't have much money, I felt very nourished with him. In psychological parlance, he was able to "see me." He would listen carefully to every word I said, even if it was some childish thoughts, and he would respond seriously to every little request I had. This intimacy has been very healing for me.
Having a baby is also a natural product of healing me in an intimate relationship. Because I have learned to love, I have reached a state of overflowing love, so I am also willing to pass on love.
There is also a saying in psychology: if you don't do well in your career, heal your relationship with your father;If you can't make money, heal your relationship with your mother.
Many people's relationship with their original family has not been repaired, and they have been in victim mode for a long time, so they need to heal themselves in time.
7.The sooner you get into something new, the better!
In my junior year, I opened *** in order to find the lost campus card, and later wrote that it was the highest average reading volume of the National People's Congress at that time, and I failed the senior graduate school entrance examination, and when I was looking for a job, I found that I only had this *** more handy, so I went to LinkedIn to do *** editing. 」
As a person who has come before, I really recommend that college students have the opportunity to have more contact with the outside world without affecting their studies. I have also suggested that some of my relatives and children who are going to college should do more internships, feel and get in touch with new things, whether they like writing, editing, or editing, or photography, etc., to have their own thoughts and actions, rather than waiting to be a confused and "slaughtered" fresh graduate to apply for a job.
It is even necessary to determine the direction through the first 3 years of work, while others have already set the direction and have been on the road for a long time.
When I was in elementary school, I could memorize pi to the 100th place, and everyone said that this child was a child prodigy. If you perform this again after graduation, people will ask which mental hospital person didn't close it and let it out.
The younger you are, the more tolerant the world will be towards you. When you were a minor, even the law was directed against you. When you are an adult, no one actually cares about the process of doing things, everyone will only ask you for results.
To be continued.