Why do urban Kochi women want a bride price? On the inherent paradox of modern love marriage

Mondo Health Updated on 2024-03-06

Title: The Debate between Urban Kochi Women and the Bride Price: The Game of Economy and Security in the Modern View of Marriage and Love.

Behind the bustling city, there is a game about love, marriage and money. Bride price, an ancient traditional custom, was originally popular in rural areas, but now it has quietly entered the field of marriage and love of urban youth, and has become a real problem they have to face. Especially for those urban women with higher education and stable jobs and incomes, the bride price has become a kind of "bargaining power" in the marriage market.

Little C is such a representative of Kochi women in the city. Coming from a small and unassuming city, she is studying for a PhD in a metropolis like Beijing, where she plans to settle down in the future. However, as he grew older and his education improved, Xiao C found that his marriage and love road was not as smooth as he imagined. She has experienced several relationships that ended without problems, and each time she threw herself into it, but each time it ended in failure.

After experiencing many emotional setbacks, Little C began to find a suitable partner through blind date software. She had seen all sorts of boys, but eventually got together with a male doctor who was nearly ten years apart. However, this seemingly well-matched relationship did not bring too much sweetness and expectation to Xiao C. On the contrary, she felt that she and her boyfriend lacked in-depth understanding and communication, and that they could chat no more than five sentences a day on WeChat, and that their relationship with each other was more like "familiar strangers".

In this context, the bride price has become an unavoidable topic between Xiao C and her boyfriend. Xiao C believes that the bride price is not only a compensation for women's childbirth and parenting costs, but also a manifestation of men's respect and recognition for women. She insisted that the amount of the bride price should be determined based on the cost of childbirth and parenting that women will bear in the future, rather than simply following local customs or markets**.

However, the boyfriend has a different opinion on this. He believes that the bride price is an outdated custom that is incompatible with the modern view of love and marriage. He couldn't understand why Little C valued the bride price so much, and even had disputes and conflicts with him because of this.

This is actually a common dilemma faced by modern urban youth in marriage and love: on the one hand, they are eager to find true love and partners; On the other hand, they have to face various real-life pressures and challenges, including traditional customs such as bride price. For urban Kochi women, the bride price is an economic "safety valve" and a way for them to fight for their rights in the marriage market.

However, behind this economic game in the name of bride price, there are actually deeper social problems. That is the distrust of modern people in love and marriage. In this uncertain world, love and marriage seem to be becoming less and less reliable, while money and material things become a more stable and reliable guarantee. This mentality not only affects the concept of marriage and love of urban youth, but also further aggravates their contradictions and difficulties in marriage and love.

Back to Xiao C's story, she and her boyfriend finally broke up because of the bride price. This may be a regrettable ending, but it also reflects the helplessness and dilemma of modern urban youth in marriage and love. Bride price, an ancient traditional custom, has now become a problem in modern marriage and love. How exactly we should look at and deal with this issue may require us to think more deeply and **.

Finally, I would like to ask a question: what role should the bride price play in the face of love and marriage? Is it a litmus test for love, or a stumbling block for marriage? There is no standard answer to this question, but everyone's choices will affect their future and happiness. I hope that every urban youth can find their own answers.

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