In society, there must be many collectives.
Including tangible, imposing a stipulation of what the name of this collective is.
Including the invisible, simply a group of people coming together.
But many times, being gregarious is not an easy task.
Chinese culture always emphasizes that you need to be gregarious, and the West always emphasizes that you need to have personality and exert agency.
But in fact, these two essences are obedience tests, China's is that you can't get along and go out by yourself, and the West is where everyone's ugly words are in front, so don't delay if you can't accept it.
But you will find that if you are a sane person, you must be out of place.
Because the behavioral characteristics contained in each group are different, but in fact, you as a person cannot cater to the behavioral characteristics of each group, and there will definitely be conflicting behavioral characteristics in the group you are in.
If you want to cater to these two conflicting behavioral traits at the same time, it is only a matter of time before you are mentally and depressed.
It's not that there is a saying that you can't take off the mask if you wear it for a long time, and whoever plays the clown will eventually become a clown.
You think it's just a mask, but if you engage in a behavior that is consistent with the mask for a long time, then the action will react on the consciousness and become a part of you that you are really unaware of.
So you see why those elders are stubborn, always cling to their outdated values, and maintain their fragile self-esteem through generational suppression, this is because they don't want to be changed, they don't want to deny the meaning of their existence.
Understand this, and either you change completely and fall to one side or you become psychotic.
Okay, so you can't really cater to all the people in it.
Then being unsociable will inevitably lead to being excluded from the group.
At this time, some people began to complain that the collective was not good, no.
You shouldn't complain about the collective, even if there is something wrong with the collective behavior or morality.
For example, in school, you are in a class, and there are some people in this class who bully others every day, and if you don't join, they will be bullied, and you will not be happy if you join them.
Do you want to add it at this time?
If you are bad in nature, of course, others will say that you want to join, but if you think it's not good, then if you don't add, you will be very uncomfortable.
This is when you will start to have thoughts of escape.
Don't run away from it, face it.
In the big group of the class, you have to weigh the cost of changing the group first.
How much does it cost to change classes and schools? Isn't it that easy to change?
Even if you change classes, change schools, and go to a new school, will you be ostracized by others if you insert into someone else's group that has already been formed?
If you don't investigate this collective in depth, is there a possibility that it will be worse than the original collective?
It's the same in the workplace, it's normal to meet bad colleagues and superiors, and even the environment at work is worse than the class.
Why? Because the position of a person who is too kind is very poor, others will give him all the things to accept, and he is also very obedient to others who maliciously make things difficult, and his efforts are rarely seen, and he will not be led to a leader who has no him in every evaluation, promotion, and salary increase.
If you can't even adapt to the class, then you can't adapt to the job.
After all, bullying is mostly just for fun, but everyone at work is a naked competition for interests.
So be sure to weigh the cost of replacing the collective.
This includes deciding which groups you want to cater to based on your mental energy.
Because the stronger the energy, the more groups they can cater to, and thus the more comfortable they are.
For example, the courtesans, whose energy is strong enough for them to cope with some cognitive dissonance collective.
Undercover, sales, PR, human resources, and spies are such people.
And if the weak energy force themselves to cater to the group, they will end up exhausted.
A lot of times we need to weigh what we do and what we don't, because there is a cost to what we don't.
If you're really uncomfortable, consider one thing: whether it's the high cost of catering to the group, or the high cost of enduring the negative effects of the group.
If it is better to cater to the group than to endure the group, then endure; If the cost of enduring is too high, then cater to the group.
And only when we can't bear it anymore do we think about changing groups.
Those who are close to Zhu are red, and those who are close to ink are black.
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