The ex has a new love, how to get it back?

Mondo Psychological Updated on 2024-03-04

It can be said that what is more terrifying than a new love is your infinite reverie for a new love.

Many people's exes, obviously from various aspects, don't look like people who will find a new love immediately, but because they broke up with themselves, they keep worrying that their ex will find a new love.

At this time, you can think about it, is it your own mentality, or is it really caused by a new love?

Those who have no new friends with their ex, before there is conclusive evidence, you should not fantasize about the existence of your ex and cause more trouble to yourself.

And I also tell you a fact, that is, if you really find out that your ex has a new love, you will find that it is not a big deal, far less than the internal friction that you yourself are worried about.

Because when you find out that the other party has a new love, you instead think about what this new love is like, when to talk about the new love, you will change from worry to curiosity, anger and disappointment.

However, these emotions are still useless for redemption, because you still put your attention in the wrong place at this time and put it on your new love.

At this time, let's think about a question, is it useful to focus on the new love?

Someone must say: Of course it works, I know that the new love is better than me, and I know the advantages and disadvantages of the new love, so that I can prescribe the right medicine to defeat the new love.

In fact, there is a logical error here that everyone has not been aware of, that is, the ex is not looking for a new love because of a comprehensive comparison with you.

What does that mean?

It means that when the ex is looking for a new love, he considers many reasons, such as spending the gap period, looking for freshness, or turning the spare tire right, etc., they don't necessarily consider how bad you are, so they have to find someone who is completely different from you. You can rest assured, you are not as idle as your ex, and you have to find a new love according to your standards.

Of course, it should also be said here that the ex may refer to a few shortcomings that you highlight when looking for a new love, the shortcomings that make it unbearable, and that's it.

Therefore, no matter how thoroughly you research your new love, it will not necessarily help you to redeem your success.

From another point of view, if the new love crushes you completely, will you give up? I don't think you're going to give up, so why are you looking for so much evidence to deny yourself?

Or, if your new love loses to you in all aspects, do you still have to make a big fuss with your ex and tell him that he made the wrong choice? The answer you may get is: I don't want to be with you if you choose the wrong one.

Can you understand the difference?

You can think about the issue of new love in this way, that is, the ex and you, and the ex and the new love, you are two systems that do not interfere with each other, and the ex wants to break up with you because he doesn't like you anymore. Some don't like you first, and then there are new loves.

Even if it is a seamless relationship, it is because there is a rift in your relationship, so there is an opportunity for a new love to take advantage of. From this, you can know that if you want to get back your new ex, the key for you is that you need to improve yourself and let yourself be liked by your ex.

Please remember this sentence: the relationship between the two of you only exists between the two of you.

When many people are faced with the problem of new love, they will stare at their new love all day long, or how affectionate the two of them are, etc., which is the wrong direction of recovery.

To put it mildly, if you can help you recover by staring at your new love, then there will not be so many families in this world who are not harmonious, so the focus is still on yourself, only if you are good yourself, your ex will find that you are better than your new love, and will put more experience on you.

Emotion

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