I'm sure many people have heard the saying that if you break up, you don't love, no matter how many excuses you make, it's because you don't love.
The person who said this may want you to completely let go of your illusions, not to worry about whether the other party loves you anymore, but to think about how to improve yourself and attract the other party.
From the point of view of purpose, I still very much agree with this sentence. But from the facts, there are still very big loopholes in this sentence.
Many breakups are not because they don't love each other, which is why we can see that many people always feel that their ex has feelings for them after a breakup, but they just don't get along, which makes them very distressed.
That's because the other party has feelings for you, but the problems between you are greater than the feelings, so you choose to ignore the feelings and break up resolutely.
A person who really has no feelings for you can do it casually and not react strongly to your messages like most ex's predecessors do.
So after you break up, instead of worrying about whether your ex has feelings for you, you should be entangled in what prevents the other party's feelings from expressing, and when the lid is lifted, their feelings will be released.
This is where you need to start with two things.
On the one hand, the other party decides to break up with you at this time, and the side that denies you is greater than the side that wants to fall in love with you, so his heart has a strong negative psychology towards you, and what you want to break through is this negative psychology.
Another aspect is that you have to find the other party's negation of you and change it, so that the other party will be willing to accept your new changes and slowly rebuild your good feelings.
After talking about these routine operations, we still have to talk about the topic of feelings today.
What does that mean? As we just said, the fact that your ex will break up with you does not mean that your ex has no feelings for you.
For example, some people break up because their parents oppose it, some people break up because you don't see hope in you, or you have done something to betray the other person and want to make amends.
At this time, it is difficult for the ex to suddenly have no feelings for you, because the feelings are his own feelings, not something he can control, and he obviously likes you very much, but there is no way to pass this hurdle in his heart.
My advice here is to expand the strengths and narrow the weaknesses.
Let's take your unfaithful breakup as an example to illustrate it briefly.
If you are unfaithful and the other party can't accept the betrayal in love, at this time your advantage is that he still loves you deeply, and you have to take advantage of the fact that he loves you deeply, so that he feels that he loves you very much.
For example, he has said before that he loves you very much because he thinks you are very considerate, so when you break up, you should add a little more consideration to yourself, so that the other party can expand their good impression of you and increase the concentration of their love.
Then you have to minimize the impact of your infidelity as much as possible, such as admitting your mistakes, making a guarantee, etc., and rationalizing the reasons, etc.
These two aspects should be carried out at the same time to make the effect more obvious. Many people only know how to apologize and ignore the stimulation of feelings, and it is difficult to get the understanding of their ex.
We have to know that when we talk about falling in love, in essence, we are talking about love, if at the time of the breakup, the ex still has a feeling of love for you, then the relationship is a good weapon for you at this time, so you have to learn to expand the advantages of the relationship, and if you use it well, you may be able to get back together directly.
In love