Keigo Higashino once said in "White Night Walking": "There are two things in the world that cannot be looked at, one is the sun, and the other is the human heart." This sentence profoundly reveals the complex and elusive relationship between peopleInner world。Even an elderly person who can't walk can hurt you and even calculate you. Some people conclude that children who take care of their elderly parents alone for long periods of time may be physically and mentally exhausted instead of being grateful. If you have more than one sibling in your family, you will face four difficulties in supporting the elderly on your own. First of all, the family will think that you should support the elderly, after all, you are capable and kind-hearted. Secondly, your parents may complain about you for not taking good care of you and say bad things in front of relatives and friends. After all, parents know everything about you and know your shortcomings. They may even say that other siblings who rarely see each other are better because there is no conflict with them, there is no chance of conflict at all. When you spend a year serving your parents, and your other siblings only give them a $1,000 year-end bonus, you get chills. Third, taking care of the elderly takes a lot of time and energy. If you have a busy job and a limited income, the elderly may become a burden to you. It is even more difficult to leave work and concentrate on taking care of the elderly. Finally, your service can lead to a quarrel or even divorce. Because of serving the elderly, the family relationship is strained. As it is".The Hedgehog Rule"As I said, if people get too close to each other and stay together for a long time, there will be a tense atmosphere. And if you get rid of the thorns on your body, you will feel pain and are likely to be hurt by the other person. People live in reality and cannot live in a vacuum. Before filial piety, we should weigh the pros and cons, keep a clear head, and find a balance of filial piety.
Xiao Zhang, a young man from a neighboring village I know, started a farm at home after graduating from university, but his business lost a lot of money. When he wanted to continue his farming business, his father insisted that he go out to earn a living and work somewhere in Shenzhen. Xiao Zhang persuaded his father: "Dad, I am your only son, I am not by your side, what can you do?" I raise chickens and ducks at home, which can not only accompany you, but also make money, killing two birds with one stone. But the father said, "Next month, I will go to your sister's house and help her take care of the children." You go out to make a living, make money as soon as possible, and find a daughter-in-law to ......This conversation made Xiao Zhang suddenly enlightened. There are many ways to be filial, but "children live well on their own" is the best way to be filial. On the basis of living a good life on your own, you can be filial to your parents, which is both capable and emotional, and can also make the family continue to prosper. From a historical point of view, "filial piety" was put forward as a moral concept in the Western Zhou Dynasty, which included respecting ancestors, caring for the elderly, and passing on the family lineage. However, most people only understand the first meaning without giving it much thought to the second. Combining these two meanings, we will find that in the process of taking care of the elderly, it is wise to learn to "keep a hand". This may seem selfish, but it is actually a rule to manage household affairs, rather than a hijacking of emotions with feelings and morals. First, siblings can share the task and expense of caring for the elderly. For a young couple, it can be very stressful to take on the task of providing for four elderly people. The situation would be much better if several families could share this burden. At the same time, in the matter of supporting the elderly, it is possible to reduce regrets by making joint efforts and money, not worrying about it, and making life fairer. As Mencius said, "Everyone kisses his relatives and grows up, and the world is peaceful." "Secondly, keep a certain distance and avoid being noisy. By taking turns taking care of the elderly, there will be no daily contact between you and the elderly, so the distance will naturally form. The most important thing is that after experiencing the care of many people, the elderly will know who is good to him and cherish your love for them even more. For families with conditions, the elderly can be allowed to have their own hut and hire a nanny to take care of them. This maintains intimacy and allows everyone to have space and personal time.
All in all, filial piety is a virtue, but too much filial piety can also bring distress and stress. The relationship between people is complex and delicate, and we need to be thereFilial pietyto maintain balance. In the process of filial piety to one's parents, one should consider one's own abilities and energy, and have the wisdom to weigh the pros and cons. At the same time, siblings should share the responsibility of caring for the elderly to reduce stress and avoid injustice. Keeping a certain distance is also to avoid contradictions and conflicts. Filial piety is a virtue, but remember, filial piety is a part of life, not the whole story. We must live our own lives so that we can better honor our parents.