Fear of retirement! After the New Year, what should the 82-year-old father who can't take care of himself do?
My father, who is 82 years old this year, accidentally fell and suffered a comminuted fracture of the femur a few years ago, and after surgery**, he was completely unable to take care of himself. During the Chinese New Year, we took him home and my brother and I took turns taking care of him. However, due to his advanced age and poor surgery, he has not been able to get out of bed so far, and all his daily life is solved in bed.
The family took turns to take care of his father, turning over, changing diapers, etc., but even so, there were some broken skin on his buttocks. The younger brother bought him bedsore cream and an infrared disinfection lamp, and applied and disinfected the medicine every day, and these measures have begun to work, and the ** is gradually healing.
However, as the Chinese New Year came to an end, both the younger and older brothers needed to return to work, and the father's care became a problem. He is currently completely unable to take care of himself, and sending him to a nursing home seems to be an option, but we are not very comfortable with the conditions of the nursing home. The caregiver is in charge of many elderly people, and it is difficult to take care of them as meticulously and thoughtfully as at home, and we are worried that there my father's bedsore problem may **.
I have witnessed nursing home caregivers feeding elderly people who are unable to take care of themselves, and they hurriedly feed the food into the mouths of the elderly, which made me worry about my father's diet. He has loved food all his life, and if he can't enjoy a diet that suits his taste in a nursing home, I am afraid it will affect his health.
But if we don't send him to a nursing home, there really is no one in the family who can take care of him full-time. My brother and I both work far away and find it difficult to go home multiple times a week. Although she has a brother and daughter-in-law at home, it is not suitable for her to take care of her father full-time. Right now we're really distressed and don't know what to do.
My dad was a farmer, had no pension and no savings. He has stopped working since he was in his 50s and has been supported by our four sisters.
A few years ago, after the village was demolished, I took a sum of money, and my dad went to eat every day and spent all the money.
Now he is old, has limited mobility, has no money, no house. He had nothing but our four children.
If our four children are very promising, we don't have to worry about his pension. It's a pity that none of us sisters are wealthy, and whoever doesn't go out to work can't make ends meet.
The daughter of the eldest sister's family is married, and the younger son is in high school, and he needs forty or fifty thousand yuan for tuition and living expenses.
The eldest sister works in a private company, has no unit pension insurance, and is still working in her 50s.
The second brother's son is in college, which requires a lot of expenses. Although the second brother works in a large company, his salary is not high because of the company's recession.
The second brother and daughter-in-law work as a nursery worker in a kindergarten, and the money they earn is used to subsidize the family.
My sister is also doing odd jobs, earning two or three thousand a month.
Her son is not married yet and needs a sum of money. My sister works overtime every day to raise money for her son's marriage.
I was relatively idle, but unfortunately I was not in good health and often had to go to the hospital, so I had to take care of my dad at home. I estimate that my dad will live longer than me.
During the Chinese New Year, I proposed to find a nurse for my father, but no one said anything. Not because people don't agree, but because the proposal is unrealistic.
My father is currently living in my younger brother's house, which has only three rooms. The younger brother and his wife live in one room, the younger nephew lives in the other, and the father lives in the third room. It's impossible to hire a caregiver in such an environment.
Another difficulty is that neither of my two younger brothers' jobs are nearby, and they are not home at night. If you want to hire a nurse, you can only take care of it 24 hours a day.
Hiring a live-in caregiver to take care of an elderly person who is unable to take care of themselves not only requires accommodation and food, but is also quite expensive. 8,000 yuan a month is not enough to pay. And our brother and sister are all salarymen and simply can't afford it.
We had negotiated for my sister to quit her job to take care of her father, and said that the three of us would be willing to contribute part of our salary to cover her living expenses. Although my sister agreed, my brother-in-law disagreed.
He thinks that it is the son's responsibility to take care of the elderly, and the daughter only needs to do some light work, and it is unfair to put all the pressure on us.
My brother-in-law pointed out that in the early years, our grandmother was also paralyzed and needed long-term care, and my sister took on a lot of responsibility at that time. She is well aware of the hard work of taking care of the elderly, and she is not willing to take on this responsibility anymore.
In a few days, the eldest brother will also start to work, how should the father arrange it? What a problem!