Women's Day is approaching, and a recent article titled "The mother of the second child with a master's degree votes 84 resumes for 0 interviews" has become popular, bringing the term "mother post" to people's attention.
At this year's two sessions, some deputies also raised this issue.
On March 4, Wu Haiying, a member of the National Committee of the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference (CPPCC) and former vice chairman and secretary of the All-China Women's Federation, submitted the "Proposal on Taking Active Measures to Support the Reemployment of "Stay-at-home Mothers" (hereinafter referred to as the "Proposal") to the General Assembly.
What the hell is that "mom post"; Is it not fragrant to be a full-time housewife, or is it forced by economic pressure?
The men who promised to support you are starting to dislike you? On the one hand, there is a family, and on the other hand, a career, where should women go after giving birth.
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Fictional articles and real dilemmas
"What does Mommy Gang mean?
Through online searches, we can see that "mom post" is defined as "an emerging employment model for mothers", and the working hours and management mode of these positions are relatively flexible, aiming to facilitate mothers to balance work and life.
It is true that the term "mother's post" is indeed "new", but this employment model can be said to be "since ancient times". In other words, "mom" is always at the "post".
From the ancient "male ploughing and female weaving" to today's freelance work, mothers have been trying to balance work and life. This is also the fundamental reason why online part-time jobs led by micro-businesses have become more and more popular in recent years.
The proposal reflects the society's care and attention to the group of "Bao Ma".
Mom's dilemma
Although some people question its loopholes and detachment from reality, I have to admit that this article really hits the common pain points of stay-at-home mothers.
A few days ago, I went to a friend's house as a guest, and I overheard an experience of my friend's sister.
My friend's sister has been married for more than ten years, and her children are already in junior high school. His family has always been a small business, so over the years, she has been helping her husband run the business while taking care of the children.
The turning point occurred the year before last, when her family's business closed down due to poor management, and there was no economy for a while, and the whole family fell into a dilemma.
The husband quickly found a job, but the income was far less than before, so he hoped that she would also go out and find a job.
My friend and sister, who have been out of society for more than ten years, embarked on the road of job hunting, and as expected, like most mothers, she experienced from full confidence at the beginning to discouragement later.
A major that has been abandoned for more than ten years will definitely not be picked up, and the employer will not give a person with almost no professional work experience a chance to shine.
In the past two years, she has tried many jobs, including supermarket cashiering, logistics sorting, etc., but the reality is that these so-called "mother posts" not only have a meager income, but also cannot fully take care of the family.
For example, some jobs are late at work, and the trivial chores at home and the child's homework tutoring make her overwhelmed, and her temper is getting worse and worse.
One day, when she couldn't help but get angry when she tutored her child's homework, the child cried and asked her, "Do you don't love yourself anymore?" ”
That day, she had insomnia, and she was determined to change the status quo, so she began to teach herself skills such as decoration design and editing on the Internet, hoping to contribute to the family by her own efforts.
But if you want to rely on enthusiasm to enter the highly competitive industry, how can it be so easy.
In the past two years of job hunting, she has been working hard, but her income is still meager, and the burden of the family is still on her husband.
She was sensitive to the fact that her husband's attitude towards her had also changed, and she was unconsciously subconsciously cautious.
On the fifth day of the Lunar New Year this year, the conflict finally broke out, her husband worked overtime late that day, she and her daughter finished eating early, and after her daughter went to bed, she waited for her husband to get off work while watching TV in the living room alone, so that she could cook for her husband who worked all day.
But when her husband came home, she was asleep.
When the husband saw the sleeping mother and daughter, he thought that she didn't care about him, and instantly became angry and vented all the unsatisfactory in his stomach on her.
It's just enough to say that she can't help herself share the pressure, she doesn't even understand her duty as a wife, she works overtime so late that she doesn't even cook for herself.
That day, my friend's sister burst into tears after repeating her husband's words.
Isn't this family just relying on me to support myself, what else can you do, it's really unlucky for me to marry your wife, is it easy for me to be tired and tired all day......”
The experience of my friend's sister may not be an exception, and men always feel that they are under pressure to support their families, but they do not know that women are also under great pressure in married life.
Including children's education, supporting the elderly, etc., they also pay a lot to ensure the stability of the rear for men.
When Liu Bang, the ancestor of the Han Dynasty, rewarded the meritorious heroes at the beginning of the establishment of the Han Dynasty, he gave the first meritorious hero to Xiao He, who had been in charge of logistics, instead of Liu Bang, who had the most military achievements, isn't this the reason?
When a woman is separated from society for the sake of her family, she is not only financially disadvantaged, but also emotionally.
When men are accustomed to seeing delicate working women outside, will they dislike you who are tossed unkempt by children?
is like what the protagonist Luo Zijun said in the TV series "The First Half of My Life": You defined my life, but you attacked me with it.
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It is a man's vocation to earn money to support his family
There is a story about two horses carrying a heavy load under the scorching sun, and the hot weather combined with the heavy burden made the two horses tired.
At the urging of their master, they struggled to carry their loads, and did not dare to delay for a moment, when one of the horses could not carry it and began to complain to his master that his cargo was heavier than that of his companions.
The other horse also stopped, indicating that it was taking on more.
The master whipped hard, but the two horses refused to go, and both felt that they had been wronged.
The master had an idea and proposed a solution, since they both felt that they had suffered a loss, then let the two horses exchange the goods on their bodies, and the two horses gladly accepted after hearing this.
After the exchange, they still didn't feel half relaxed, and even felt that the burden on them was heavier.
In reality, not everyone can empathize, and people are more likely to focus on their own feelings.
When the crystallization of love comes to a family, for a period of time, the man will have to take on more responsibilities to make money to support the family, and when the joint efforts of two people become a person's sole support, the pressure on the man will become greater.
At this moment, family relationships may also be undergoing subtle changes.
Why is it said that women's weakness is genetic?
We can see that most animal cubs have some ability to survive at the beginning of life, and we need to be taken care of even by someone to eat and sleep.
This is actually a trade-off in the evolutionary process of human beings.
Human beings choose to walk upright, so the female pelvis narrows, and the baby cannot be fully grown in the mother's body in order to give birth smoothly, and the human brain continues to evolve and the head is getting bigger and bigger, which is also one of the main factors.
This brings a congenital weakness to women, that is, in the process of raising babies, they cannot gather and hunt separately, so they must rely on the other half of the support. It is believed that this is one of the reasons for the formation of the concept of the human family.
Since you have to rely on men to raise, your status is naturally lower than that of each other, which is also an important reason for the formation of the concept of male superiority and inferiority of women since ancient times.
Therefore, it is a man's duty to earn money to support his family, and women do not have to be humbled because of it.
Of course, this concept no longer plays the role of "heavenly principle", we advocate equality between men and women, and the world calls for equal rights for men and women.
The roles of earning money to support the family and taking care of the family are also changing between men and women at will, and it is no longer new for women to earn money to support their families.
Therefore, in a family, men and women are only different in the division of labor, and they should understand each other, care for each other, and do not ignore each other's contributions.
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Let mothers reintegrate into society
In order for housewives to reintegrate into society, society as a whole is working together.
On August 30, 2023, the Department of Human Resources and Social Security of Guangdong Province issued the Notice on the Implementation of the "Mother Post" Employment Model on its official website, providing guidance for further implementing the "Mother Post" employment model in the province and promoting the employment of women with children.
Women's federations in other places have also successively introduced various measures to serve the employment of mothers.
Wu Haiying, member of the National Committee of the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference (CPPCC), former vice chairman and secretary of the All-China Women's Federation, put forward the following suggestions:
The first is to improve the job search and employment information service platform.
The second is to carry out skills training for the needs of stay-at-home mothers.
The third is to set up mother's posts for flexible work and flexible employment, and the fourth is to improve inclusive childcare services.
We believe that with the joint efforts of the whole society, Bao Ma will get more job opportunities and feel more care and understanding.
If you had a choice, would you rather be a full-time housewife, or would you like to work hard outside the home to earn money to support your family?