What do you think is the biggest regret in love?
Is it after loving hard and finding that person is not worth it at all, or after losing it, you find that you have missed the most worthy person?
There is an answer on Zhihu that impresses me:
The saddest moment in the relationship must not be when you can't love, but when you understand that you and this person have no future. ”
I've asked a lot of people: What were you thinking about when you broke up?
Some people say that they can't figure out how a person who was so good at the beginning has changed;
Some people say, regret it, I didn't treat her better when we were together.
More people say that they regret it, because they really want to have a future with him.
There's a saying that goes like this:
"People are sometimes pitiful, the people they like can't get it, they don't cherish it, the doubts they have together, the nostalgia they have lost, the nostalgia they want to see, the hate to see each other late, and their whole lives are full of regrets. ”
But don't forget, all the mistakes are foreshadowing.
The words that have been said, the memories left behind, that is the background of love, the perfunctory excuses, and the retention that have not been fought for have all sentenced love to death.
Today I would like to share with you a story about"Emotional jet lag".story.
Three days before the breakup
I don't know when the way we get along with each other has become like this.
I used to wish that two people were glued together, but now I don't know what to say when I open the dialog box.
The frequency of daily chats is about 5-6 sentences per day.
The content is roughly "good morning, what to eat, no work, good night".
Even the various festivals are like going through a process.
Sometimes I feel that the greetings between us do not have the sweetness of love.
It's more like two drowning people, lying on their own driftwood to greet each other to make sure the other is still alive.
Perhaps, I don't have any love for her anymore.
Break up
Finally, she said the breakup.
To be honest, I've imagined this scenario many times, and I should be happy, and then I can get three or five friends to jump all night to release the thrill of "liberation".
However, at that moment, I felt the opposite.
I didn't feel happy at all, but panicked.
I felt like I was losing the most important thing in my life.
Is it her?
The day after the breakup
I thought about it all night and agreed to break up.
But I can't ignore the panic feeling in my heart, maybe I already know the panicked **, but I dare not admit it.
After all, I created the relationship.
Let's get along for another 30 days, and it will soon be understood.
The third day after the breakup
On this day, I took the initiative to chat with her first.
It seems like this hasn't been like this for a long time, and I have the impression that she came to me first.
It's just that I often come home late because I work overtime and are busy socializing, and I ignore this.
And she began to become more and more emotional, we often quarreled, and sometimes when we were in a good mood, I would symbolically coax her.
If you're in a bad mood, you just don't pick up ** and disappear.
Perhaps, since then, my attitude has let her down.
I used to think it was hypocrisy, but now I understand that once a girl falls in love, it's like a child who waits for someone to pick her up in kindergarten.
When I don't take the initiative to talk to her every day, she will feel that she is left out;
When I haven't dated her for a long time, she feels like I've been abandoned.
Fifth day after the breakup
I remember that I used to dress up carefully on every date, pick the best restaurant, and be reluctant to let go of each other for even a second when I walked.
At that time, all I was worried about was why the road couldn't be longer, why the rain didn't fall for a while, and why the watch didn't go slower tonight.
But after being together for a long time, my thinking has changed, and my mentality has also changed.
I have to work overtime today, so let's eat another day; Friends rarely get together, watch a movie and push it again; Rest at home on the weekend, travel is too wasteful.
There are more important things little by little, and her position is also a little bit lower.
Tenth day after the breakup
On the tenth day after the breakup, our relationship eased a lot.
I also slowly recalled many small details that I had overlooked before.
And she is not as resistant as she was at the beginning.
I feel like we're getting closer.
Fifteenth day after the breakup
This scene is so familiar, it seems to go back to the time when we were first together.
Every morning she made breakfast and rushed to work, and then told me to remember to eat.
At first, I enjoyed her care, but slowly, I got tired of it.
I began to hate her verbosity, and I didn't want to help her with the housework.
Now think about how tired she must have been when she went to the supermarket to pick up these things.
She is also a little girl who needs someone to take care of and need someone to hurt.
Twenty-three days after the breakup
This trip allowed me to find the feeling we had when we were in love.
It also made me realize how much of a jerk I used to be.
What she wanted was so simple, but I never wanted to give it.
We took a lot of photos that we hadn't had in a long time.
Look at her holding a marshmallow, tilting her head, and smiling happily.
At that moment, I was in a trance, and at the same time I felt a sense of worry.
It turns out that it's not that I don't love her anymore, but that I forgot how I loved her in the first place.
I forgot the ritual of my promise to her, and her kindness to me was taken for granted.
Twenty-nine days after the breakup
When I heard the news that my friend I hadn't seen for a long time was getting married, I was suddenly caught off guard.
I've fantasized countless times about what it would be like to marry her.
Decorate our small home in the style we love, the walls are full of ** that captures our smiling faces, the table is placed with pink roses and white lilies, after work, go home to buy vegetables and make three dishes and one soup, and then wait for her return, clean up and wash the dishes together after dinner, I wash the dishes and she drys, cut a plate of fruit after the meal, nest on the sofa in our small home, and watch the eight o'clock soap opera shown on the TV.
I'm laughing, she's watching.
But I lost it all.
Can I still get her back?
Thirtieth day after the breakup
30 days are over.
But I can't bear to end it.
I'm glad that the ending of this story is a happy ending.
Girls give boys a chance to start over, but not everyone has lost the good fortune to regain it.
The most feared thing in a relationship is jet lag.
Only after breaking up do you see the goodness of the other party, and only after you miss it do you understand the tenderness of the other party.
The two most desperate words in the world are "if", and the three most powerless words are "know early".
There are so many things that you can't wait for, and if you miss it once, it's too late.
Meng Yun still failed to marry Lin Jia in the end, even though they still loved each other deeply.
Supreme Treasure still couldn't be with Zixia Fairy in the end, even if he really stepped on the colorful auspicious clouds to find her.
In the end, Li Yaohui still failed to take He Baorong to see the waterfall, even though they said countless times that "it is better for us to start all over again".
A lot of misses, as Zhang Xinzhe sang:
If I loved you and hugged you at the beginning, maybe the ending would be difficult to tell.
I hope that there will not be anyone in your life who cannot be loved.
Please also take care of everyone in your life who is important to you.
Don't say forever, just cherish.