In China, the idea of "raising children and preventing old age" has been deeply rooted for thousands of years, and even in the new era, this concept is still the same. Although the country's pension policy is improving year by year, and the life of the elderly in their old age is basically guaranteed, if there is no support from their children, most of the elderly will live a lonely life in their old age.
The incident happened to our colleague Lao Li. Lao Li is 53 years old this year, and he is still struggling in the front line of the unit, and he is the object of envy of everyone in our unit, not only because of the two employees, nor because Lao Li has been a grassroots leader all his life, and he has no worries about food and clothing.
What everyone envies is that their family has a very good son, who has been the kind of "other people's child" since he was a child, who studies well, grows up well, and is sensible. When I arrived in high school, I was also a lot taller than Lao Li, and I was admitted to the best high school in our local area, and my grades have always been in the top ten in the school. After the college entrance examination, he was admitted to a well-known university in Beijing, and I remember that Lao Li specialized in buying cigarettes and candy at that time, and also invited his colleagues to share the joy with everyone.
Lao Li's son successfully graduated and found a job in a foreign company in Beijing, according to his oral account two years ago, the annual salary has already reached one million. What's even more jealous is that his son also married a Beijing girl, and the marriage room when he got married was from his in-laws. Since then, everyone has been envious, jealous, and hated Lao Li, why can't their children be so promising.
In October last year, Lao Li became his grandfather, and his daughter-in-law gave birth to twin grandchildren. After learning the news, Lao Li was even more proud, he felt like he was jumping when he walked in the unit, and when he saw people, he smoked and bragged about everything about his son. Everyone said congratulations, but in their hearts they were jealous to death, no matter how good things happened, he caught up.
Lao Li's retired wife went to Beijing early to take care of her daughter-in-law and grandson, and when the two grandsons were about to be full, Lao Li took half a month's leave with the unit, and was also ready to go to Beijing to enjoy the joy of family in advance. Unexpectedly, on the fourth day after taking leave, Lao Li returned to work, and was obviously in a bad mood, sullen all day long, and didn't say anything when others asked. At that time, there were rumors that Lao Li's grandson had a problem, and whether Lao Li had let his daughter-in-law drive out. Seeing that the rumors were getting worse and worse, he told everyone what happened in Beijing this time.
Lao Li is an old smoker, and his smoking years are longer than his working years. After going to Beijing this time, I went to my son's house for the first time and hugged my grandson, and I felt that my daughter-in-law's attitude towards him was not very good, and he didn't care too much, after all, from the time my son got married to the present, the two have not met a few times, anyway, I came to see my grandson, and my daughter-in-law's attitude doesn't matter, just stay for a while. After hugging my grandson, I stayed at home for a while and became addicted to smoking, and I paid more attention to it, because my son didn't smoke, and I didn't prepare an ashtray at home, and I was afraid of affecting my grandson, so I went downstairs and smoked two.
When I went upstairs again, my son sniffled as soon as he entered the door and asked, "Dad, you don't smoke anymore, why is your body full of smoke?" ”
Lao Li said: "I smoked it outside, it's fine."
But the son said: "How can it be okay, the harmful things of smoke are all on the clothes, you also know that second-hand smoke is more harmful, don't affect the two children in the family, you better wait outside the door for a while, and wait for the smell of smoke to dissipate before coming in." ”
Lao Li was very angry at the time: "You just grew up smoking cigarettes, and I didn't see any problems with you, but now that you have grown up, you think I smoke?" ”
The son said: "Can you compare that time with now, I don't mean that you are wrong, but you are worried about the child, and you don't want the child to be unhealthy, right?" ”
After Lao Li heard this, he turned his head and went downstairs to the hotel without saying a word, and never entered his son's house before the full moon banquet. After a few days, his daughter-in-law also came back, because the living habits of her daughter-in-law are different, and the concept of raising children is also quite different, and she can stay for a full month is also the result of trying to endure it.
Because of this matter, it is a bit far-fetched to conclude that raising a child cannot prevent old age, but he thinks about it carefully, since his son settled in Beijing, he has basically never returned to his hometown to accompany his parents, and he will go back for up to 2 days during the Spring Festival, and sometimes he will not come back because he is busy with work.
In the future, all kinds of maintenance problems will be slowly exposed, and now he and his wife can take care of all things by themselves, what should they do when they are older and when there is something wrong with their bodies? It is certainly unrealistic to go to Beijing to live with his son, and he doesn't like that big city. The son will definitely not return to his hometown because of his adoptive parents. When that time comes, if the old couple is still there and can still move, the days should not be lonely, if there is only one person left or the body does not allow it, the final home is the nursing home.
Share another story: In a psychological *** added by my sister, there is an old professor who teaches everyone psychology, and the professor's son is even better, settled in the UK early, but does not come back all the year round, the most is to give a sum of money every once in a while, but the old professor is not short of money, so he came out to teach everyone psychology, but also to avoid being too lonely. The old professor couldn't walk in the end, but his son just asked his relatives to send him to a nursing home, and it didn't matter how much it was. After a while, there was no shadow of the old professor in the group.
According to people who know it, the old professor died not long after he arrived at the nursing home, and his son still did not come back, so he still asked his relatives to handle his father's funeral, and asked his relatives to sell his father's house, and it didn't matter how much it was. His life ended lonely.
In the post-70s generation, most families have only one single seedling, carrying the expectations and dreams of their parents. They are like soaring eagles, flying higher and farther away, while their parents silently watch and look forward to their occasional homecoming. With the passage of time, most of the post-70s generations need to walk side by side on their own pension road, and that loneliness and loneliness may only be accompanied by nursing homes in the end. In fact, this is not only the fate of the post-70s, our generation is facing the same challenges. We do our best to raise our children to excel, but that also means that they are getting closer and closer to us. Such a reality is not only a kind of helplessness, but also a kind of inevitability of life.
Lao Li is not as proud as before, he is silent a lot, and everyone often talks about Lao Li like this, and Lao Li often just waves his hand and does not speak after hearing it. In today's era, "raising children to prevent old age" has no practical significance, and the better the children, the more they cannot prevent old age. Loneliness may be the end of everyone.