Many things can only be viewed from a distance, not blasphemed.
Good feelings, like a lotus flower, are worthy of appreciation, but they cannot be touched, let alone plucked.
Aristotle said, "A wise man does not seek pleasure in his mind, but seeks to avoid it." ”Interpersonal exchanges are a happy thing, but if you are overly enthusiastic, it will inevitably cause unpleasantness.
It is difficult to find people who have the same three views, but there are many people who can appreciate it from far and near.
Therefore, knowing how to keep a distance is a kind of cleverness.
When family members get along, they should be compatible with each other and not bound each other.
I have read such a sentence: "No matter how gorgeous the cheongsam, there are lice." ”
Home is a peaceful place, but there are inevitably internal frictions. Many times, not understanding each other and not being able to help effectively, can lead to chills; Different living habits can make people unable to adapt.
On Zhihu, someone asked: What is the experience of couples with different views?
Someone replied, "It's uncomfortable." He is always extreme, and he can never say anything about your heart. He only cares about his own happiness, appreciates someone or something, and you always have to think of him as the main character.
Your sadness, he just symbolically comforted a few words, obviously perfunctory. It's been a long time, and it's still the same, so you can only restrain yourself and let go.
It's best to find someone you can talk to.
Everyone is in pursuit of "being themselves". But you can't really "be yourself" because you have to go home and accommodate your family. Whether it is a lover, a child, a parent, a brother or a sister, although they are connected by blood, they are uneven.
Plato said:"Patience is the foundation of all ingenuity. ”
You don't even have the patience to understand your family, so why should you struggle? Anything must be insisted on for a long time, and only with obsession can there be a future.
In the family, we must learn to "understand and be tolerant", and there must always be someone to make "cotton". Then, love without drowning, relatively free.
When relatives get along, they should be courteous and reciprocal, and don't be careful.
"Caigen Tan" has a saying: "In the illusion of the world, there is no ** name and wealth, that is, the limbs are also committed; In true terms, no matter parents and brothers, that is, all things are one. ”From the outside, a person's wealth, status, and power are all changing; In terms of realm, the love of flesh and blood is integrated, and it is all "me".
Relatives are innate, and although you don't want to socialize, you can't cut them off at will.
Even nowadays, people rarely go to visit relatives, but during the New Year's holidays, they always have to meet, and on some red and white ceremonies, they have to sit and chat and have a glass of wine.
Therefore, giving red envelopes and gifts is an indispensable link.
Come and don't be rude", such a concept is deeply rooted. There are always people who think that if you give me a hundred, I will give you a hundred in return, which is the reciprocal "love".
In fact, if you zoom in on your own pattern, you will understand that relatives are all "me", fair or unfair, they are all - dumplings are boiled in a teapot and rotten in the pot.
A wise person does not care about small things, does not be confused by the exchange of courtesies, he just goes to his relatives according to his own economic strength, and does not expect what kind of return his relatives will give him.
When friends get along, we should help each other and don't overstep our bounds.
In the pen of the Ming Dynasty writer Feng Menglong, there was a man named Zhang Yuan, and he had a friend named Ruan San.
Ruan San fell in love with Yulan, the daughter of Taiwei Chen's family, and he didn't think about tea and dinner, and he was getting thinner and thinner.
Zhang Yuan said: ".The little brother has a plan to accomplish this with you.
In order to promote a marriage, Zhang Yuan took the silver and went to the nunnery, and asked the nun to use charity as an excuse to infiltrate Taiwei Chen's house, and asked Yulan to go to the nunnery for fasting.
On the other side, Ruan San was waiting in the nunnery early.
The matchmaking thing was done, but Ruan San had not recovered from his illness for a long time, and he had walked a long way in a hurry, so he couldn't afford to get sick.
The ending of the matter was a little unexpected, and Zhang Yuan was speechless.
No matter how good your relationship is, don't help you make decisions. Because everyone's fate is in their own hands. Even if you help a friend or promote something, it depends on the specific situation, and you can't "shoot yourself in the foot".
Go on a blind date instead of a friend, manage a factory, handle household chores, take care of parents, take care of children, etc., all have to be careful. If you do something good, your friends will appreciate you, but if you do something wrong, your friends will resent you, and your friend's family will treat you as a thorn in your side.
If nothing else, just find a friend to drink, and you have to look at the face of your friend's lover, pay attention to control the amount of alcohol, don't be willful. Between friends, small things and big things, point to the end, don't do too much.
When neighbors get along, they should take care of each other and ask for common ground while reserving differences.
If you look carefully, you will find that the people in a unit building are all "strange". Some people are so rich, some people are so poor that they are scum, and some people pretend to be passers-by and ignore others.
Some people have dogs, some people have cats, and some people hate pets. In some families, husband and wife are in love, and in some families, the two have long been divorced.
If you are an ordinary migrant worker, you will either look up to or hate your wealthy neighbors; If you've just gotten divorced, you don't like neighbors in pairs.
Everyone likes to think of themselves as the protagonists, and I hope everyone cooperates. But it's the opposite, you have to do a supporting role.
The community belongs to everyone, as long as it doesn't get in the way of each other, you don't blow your beard and stare at each other.
There is a saying that distant relatives are not as good as close neighbors.
A smart person treats his neighbor as a guest, greets him when he meets, and occasionally visits the door, but does not comment on the neighbor's habits, family atmosphere, etc.
A group of different people live together, so there is a different beauty. Think of it this way, and that's right.
It has been said, "A man cannot ride two horses, but if he rides on this one, he loses the other." ”There is no such thing as the best of both worlds, and if you have to strive for perfection and seek trouble for yourself, even your lover will not be 100% satisfied.
Human feelings and world affairs are difficult to complete in ancient and modern times. Only by keeping a distance can we make small flaws "insignificant".
The most beautiful realm is not looking at each other, but in the smoke and rain, I see the back I like.
The best socialization is green mountains from afar, safflower from close, love to hold hands, and appreciation to let go.
The rest of your life is not long, and you will leave wisdom to true feelings, not hatred.