In the blink of an eye, the festive atmosphere of the New Year has been unconsciously replaced by various daily busyness, and most people have returned to the state of daily reincarnation for most of the year, often feeling pressure, mixed with inexplicable anxiety, and occasionally finding a little happiness and happiness.
In the new year, many people must have made good wishes and goals, and may have started the struggle with sufficient strength. In the new year, the degree of involution in various industries and fields will not weaken, and the world will still be full of uncertainties. So, how do you settle down in the new year? How to develop? How to achieve a better and better life? The most important thing is to seek inward, in the words of "Mencius", "if you can't do something, you should ask for yourself".Starting from yourself, establishing and maintaining a healthy and stable mentality and good mood of self, so as to respond to all changes without change, is the way to achieve things. And to do that, it mustLearn to accept yourself and reject internal friction
How can we accept ourselves and avoid self-spiritual internal friction, specifically we must do the following four things:
Admit your ordinariness and ordinariness, but let go of everything that is a little bit upright
There is nothing wrong with this positive attitude towards life, but it is necessary to pay attention to it at the same time, to maintain a normal heart and a long-term heart, to confirm their ordinary and ordinary from the bottom of their hearts, calmly face all kinds of difficulties and challenges encountered in the process, and do not care too much about temporary setbacks or failures, so as to avoid bringing pressure and unnecessary inferiority complex to themselves. Feelings of anxiety. Try to get along with the people around you, even if you can't get along, don't be arrogant and out of place with your surroundings. You also need to examine yourself often, but if you find that there is a little bit of righteousness, you should let go of it, loosen your heart, make yourself more grounded, accept situations that are inconsistent with your subjective desires at any time, and make your mood more open and easy-going.
2. Be kind to yourselfNot harshMyself.
Many people will unconsciously recall the past repeatedly, and then always be troubled by negative emotions such as chagrin, remorse and self-blame, which not only does not help, but also affects their current state, as the great Indian poet Rabindranath Tagore wrote in his poem, "When you cry for missing the sun, you will also miss the stars." Over time, a vicious circle will form, and you will be stuck in a cycle of constant remorse and self-blame. Be kind to yourself, don't criticize yourself, first of all, you must learn to let go of the nostalgia and regret of the past, the past can be reviewed, summarize the lessons and gains and losses, but it must be aimed at pointing to the improvement of the reality and the future, and do not simply indulge in the meaningless regret of the past. Excessive attachment to people and things can also lead to harsh self-criticism. When you encounter a situation that is not as you wish in your daily work and life, you might as well breathe a sigh of relief, pause, relax your tense nerves, and forget about the impasse for a while. Don't push yourself into a state of restlessness and exhaustion.
Accept the unexpected and uncertainThe situation happens, not demanding perfection
Careful planning to ensure that things move in the desired direction and achieve a perfect outcome is undoubtedly the right and good way of doing things and attitudes, but at the same time, it is also necessary to understand the truth that "all laws arise from causes", that is, things are formed by the joint action of many conditions and factors, but there are many conditions and factors that cannot be completely controlled by subjective will, and the so-called "planning is in people, and success is in heaven" is also this truth. Therefore, it is important to plan things appropriately, not to force total control of the process, to allow for surprises and uncertainties, and to accept the imperfections of the results. On the contrary, you will definitely encounter frustration, no doubt you will also encounter full of self-blame and self-doubt, proper mental internal friction, why bother?!
Don't be critical of the people around you, especially your loved ones.
There are many people who are interested in the list of high-quality authors The people around them, especially their relatives, will consciously or unconsciously project their own concepts onto them, hoping that their relatives can also follow this concept. This kind of desire seems reasonable and beautiful, but it is actually a psychological trap that allows people to fall into endless emotional internal friction. Because once the behavior and attitude of relatives are not as he expected, it often leads to blame, complaints and even hatred towards relatives, and even scolding (such as young parents to children), casting a shadow on the otherwise harmonious family relationship and parent-child relationship. For example, for elderly parents, sometimes children out of filial piety, hope that parents can deal with things according to their own ideas and arrange life, but often parents will have their own needs and considerations, especially the elderly will be more stubborn, which can easily cause conflict and unhappiness. Young parents are prone to similar problems when it comes to their children's education, imposing their own ideas on their children, expecting their children to develop in the direction they have set, and not allowing deviations. We must understand that relatives are also individuals with independent personalities, with their own internal life logic and cause and effect, all we can do is understand, accept, accompany and guide, and there is no way to forcibly change, let alone hope that they will act according to your own will. So, be sure to pay special attention to the demands of your loved ones in the name of this love, love them, but respect them, and let them be who they are, not who you think they are.
In Zen Buddhism, it is said that "if you are not afraid of reading, you are afraid of being late". To really do the above four points, we need to look at our own hearts when we encounter practical problems, whether we have fallen into misunderstandings, if there is, immediately change our thoughts, over time, you will find that you have awareness and resistance to negative emotions, will not be easily trapped by them, this process, mindfulness has gradually been established and consolidated.
Finally, I wish everyone a healthy and stable attitude and a good mood in the new year, so that they can get better and better.