Little he tells jokes
Hello everyone, Welcome to the Joke Collection series, laugh and laugh!
Son: Mom, give me ten dollars, I want to buy fireworks!
The mother gave her son ten dollars.
Dad saw that his son had ten yuan in his hand: Son, give me the money, buy you fireworks, how about it?
The son happily gave the money to his father......
After a while, the son cried and found his mother: Mom, my father bought fireworks with the ten yuan you gave me.
Mom: Didn't you ask me for money to buy fireworks? Your dad bought you fireworks, why are you crying?
Son: He's the **! He spent my money on a box of cigarettes!
There was an old couple who had not been on good terms for many years, so the wife bought a cemetery for her husband as a birthday present.
On her husband's birthday, she was extremely disappointed, which can be described as desperate.
Then, when the wife celebrated her birthday, the husband did not buy her any gifts.
The wife asked angrily, "Why don't you buy me a birthday present?" ”
The husband replied, ".I built a suite from the bachelor apartment you gave me last timeWhen are you going to move in? ”
Hahaha, I'm laughing to death, I really don't know how this old husband and wife came over when they were young. ）
A few years ago, I went to Lijiang to play, and the owner of the B&B was a local and had two local dogs.
I asked the boss what were the names of the two dogs?
The boss said, "This one is called money, and that one is called lucky." ”
When I heard this, I was stunned, thinking that the boss who looked so simple was still so foreign, so I asked curiously: "Wow, so foreign, it's still an English name!" ”
The boss smiled and said, "Eh, how can there be, it's actually Wangcai and Laifu!" ”
Aunt Zhang is in her 70s this year and often gets dizzy inexplicably. At the urging of her wife, Aunt Zhang came to the hospital diagnosis room. There were many patients, and after waiting for a long time, it was Aunt Zhang's turn, and she sat down opposite the doctor.
Without raising his head, the doctor asked, "*Uncomfortable?" ”
Aunt Zhang whispered, "I'm old and dizzy. ”
The doctor said, "Are you old and dizzy?" What are you doing here? Let the old man come and sit down! ”
At that time, Aunt Zhang was so embarrassed that she couldn't speak! 」
My elementary school classmates were good at reading and became a doctor when they grew up.
Once at dinner together, there was no topic, so I asked a question and asked: "Old classmate, my memory loss has been a bit old recently, do I have indirect amnesia?" ”
At that time, the classmate asked with great concern: "No, you are still young, do you have any specific symptoms?" ”
I grinned and said, "Well, yes, I forgot that I was married when I saw a beautiful girl." ”
The classmate actually came to say: "Get out." I haven't been cured of this disease myself! ”
I was amazed at the time.
Talents, all talents! 」
The husband proudly said to his wife: "Today I went to the dry cleaner to do laundry, and the waiter gave three stars on the signature of the clothes!" ”
The wife was puzzled: "What does that mean?" ”
This shows that my clothes are of high grade and reminds workers to be careful and not to damage them. The husband said.
The next day, my wife went out with a neighbor to buy groceries and came back to help me pick up clothes, and when I got to the dry cleaner to pick up the clothes, she deliberately showed off and said, "It's the one with three stars and the highest grade." ”
The waiter quickly found the clothes, and while handing them to her, he smiled and said, "We put three stars on the sign to remind the workers that the clothes are dirty and should be washed ......several times."”
Ah, my wife originally wanted to show off, but every time the neighbor saw me, she taught me: "Lao Zhang, you love to be clean!" ’
It embarrassed me at the time, and I really wanted to find a crack in the ground to get into
Lying on the bed playing with pesticides, my husband came over cheaply and said, "Some people are going to have birthdays, what do you want, wife?" “
As soon as I heard that the sun was coming out of the west, I said I wanted a necklace.
My husband said, "Is it okay for our family to leash the dog?" “
I'll it! When I have the capital, I will change my husband directly!
My girlfriend and I were dating in the cinema and the first time I kissed her, I almost threw up because I wasn't used to the taste in her mouth.
I said to her, "Let's stop kissing in the future, okay?" ”
She said, "Good! ”
When I was wondering, she said to me, "I can't stand the smell of garlic in your mouth, I'm vomiting sour water." ”
I was so embarrassed that the whole movie theater laughed
I had a dream when I was in high school:
When class was about to end, the teacher suddenly said: "Students, pay attention, hand in your mobile phone after class, the remaining battery of your mobile phone is your score for the final exam of this semester!" ”
I was so scared that I didn't dare to play with my phone in class!
The customer service god replied
A buddy called the customer service and asked: "What should I do if the mobile phone card is lost?" ”
The customer service said: "Bring the relevant ID card to the business hall to reissue the card." ”
This guy deliberately teased: "Can't I pick it up?" ”
The customer service said: "For your safety, we do not recommend that you bend down to pick up the card, so that the water in your brain will easily spill out." ”
--- end --- funny jokes
After reading this article, remember to follow in the upper right corner if you like it....Click to follow and don't get lost!