Hello everyone, I'm "little him", after reading this article, you can click on it if you think it's good".Attention”。He has material and focuses on funny.
Today I went to the bank ATM to line up to withdraw money, it was my turn, the card was inserted, the balance was zero, I was very disappointed, I was returning the card and preparing to leave, the woman behind me asked me: "No money?" “
I hesitated, "Hmm." ”
Then, all the people in the back queue walked away.
I wanted to explain, but I forgot it, I'm so tired.
During class, a boy was talking about a particularly obscene and loud conversation with the front table. At this time, his lesbian table said: "Don't talk, your things have fallen" The boy lay under the table and looked for a long time, and asked her what she had dropped, and the girl came leisurely: "!" ”
There is a cute baby at home, almost four months, the leg skills are very good, always love to kick, usually always love to let people hold upright, today hold her shoulders in front of the play, her feet along my stomach to the chest kick, I said, "Baby, are you climbing the mountain", I saw her father float leisurely to say, "Is that a mountain?" It's a mound of dirt at best."
On Chinese New Year's Eve, Wang Daming and his family prepare to ring the old clock at home at midnight to welcome the New Year. However, at the last moment of the countdown, Wang Daming rushed to the kitchen to get snacks, but missed the moment to ring the bell. When he came back running with a whole bunch of snacks, he found his family laughing at him. In the end, they decided to simulate the countdown again, let Wang Daming ring the bell, and the whole family ushered in the New Year with laughter.
I was busy at work early in the morning, and suddenly I received a message from my boyfriend on my phone.
Boyfriend: "Let's break up." ”
I wanted to cry without tears, and my hands trembled: "Can we not break up......."”
Boyfriend: "I'm sorry, Lily. ”
I was surprised: "I'm Wang Yumei." ”
Boyfriend: "Meimei, wait for me to look at the list ......."After waiting for a minute, he replied: "It's the same, Meimei, we will also share." ”
I instantly blushed and said, "Brother, you're breaking up, it's just a layoff ......."”
When I was a child, I was digging in the yard and playing, and I actually dug up an antique and well-sealed jar.
I thought it was gold and silver treasures left by my ancestors, but when I opened it, it was a modern money ......
I gave the money to my mother, but my father beat me up!
Most of the ** that girls say in their mouths is not because they are too fat and want to lose meat. What they say is a kind of mentality, a kind of self-confidence that "the old lady is beautiful now, but she will be more beautiful in the future".
In the park near the community, there is often a beggar lying on the ground and writing, the handwriting is very good, and everyone is familiar with it after a long time, and they also know that he has a place to live. One day, everyone gathered in the park to play, watching him write, it was about to rain, I said to him: Looks like it's going to rain soon, why aren't you going to go back? He looked up at the sky and said, "Don't get in the way, I'll just take a taxi back in a while!" I stroked the bus card in my pocket, and I couldn't calm down!
The young man went to see the Zen master and asked, "Is there a trick to making a fortune without having to work?" The Zen master took the young man to the pigsty, and the young man suddenly realized, "You mean that I want to steal these pigs and sell them, and I will be rich, right?" The Zen master said, "I mean, you're a pig's brain, and if you have such a good thing, I'll tell you more?" ”
Me: "Well, it's so annoying today, I actually got along with a person for a few days before I found out that he is not only a man, but also an old man." ”
Friend: "Haha, I'm laughing to death".
Me: "Do you have a way to tell the difference between a man and a woman?" ”
Friend: "When you didn't know she was a man or a woman, you asked her what kind of cosmetics she usually used".
Me: "? Friend: "The one who can't answer or doesn't reply right away is a stinky old man." ”
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