But in all family matters, either the east wind suppresses the west wind, or the west wind suppresses the east wind
This is the eighty-second chapter of "Dream of Red Mansions", the writer borrowed Lin Daiyu's words. This gave rise to the idiom "the east wind overpowers the west wind", which refers to the fact that there are always two opposing parties in the family (and other circumstances) who always want to overpower each other. The reason why I brought this sentence out is because I recently saw a deeply touching complaint: the biggest internal friction in the family is that there is a person who picks bones in eggs all the time. This kind of person, when talking and chatting with his family, often begins with accusations and provocativeness, as if he cannot communicate with his family in other ways, and only by condensing the words into a knife and opening a wound in the otherwise peaceful atmosphere can he express his views smoothly.
Therefore, even a trivial fault in the family can make him make a fuss and reprimand: the meal is cooked a little late, the things are a little more expensive, and even the battery of the remote control is dead, it can become a ** that he can play a big role; can even really pick the bones in the egg, and randomly find a mistake to blame the family. A friend of mine complained that his father had this tendency. His father, whose cooking skills are only at the level of making instant noodles, almost never cooks, but he is especially good at picking fault with the food at home: the rice is hard and soft, the dishes are light and salty, there are no dishes he wants to eat, and he doesn't start the meal on time according to his meal, even if these are not to blame, he will say that the dishes are not as delicious as the restaurant...
The important thing is that it's not one meal or two meals, it's not a day or two, it's a ...... every dayPeople who are good at creating internal friction in the family are terrible here.
Within the family, one or two accusations and quarrels are really not a big deal, and they will disperse as soon as the wind blows. The scary thing is that this accusation has a long-lasting endurance, and it is output as it is for ten years. As a result, family members are always in a gloomy atmosphere, surrounded by faint thunder, flashing electric light, the spirit is always tense, the mood is always tense, and there is no moment to relax and be peaceful. This friend told me that his last way of resisting was not to respond, never to respond to a single word of accusation from his father, until he did not respond to most of his father's words.
This is probably good, but what's worse is that many families have this kind of people who create internal friction, so other family members will have grievances, will accumulate grievances, will fight back, and then accuse each other, and even hate and abuse each other, making the family like a battlefield, everyone is holding a gun, burying mines, being shot at any time, and shooting others at any time. Even if my friend doesn't respond, it is itself a loss to the family: the silence of the family. So, why are there cases where family members are keen to create internal friction in the family? Thinking about it, it may only be said that they subconsciously have the concept of "within the family, either the east wind suppresses the west wind, or the west wind suppresses the east wind".
They want to establish authority in the family, to be the "head of the family", to be the voice of the whole family. So, they have the skills to be ready to point fingers, to condescendingly belittle their family members – even, in their thinking, it's guidance, it's correction, it's normal communication. - I'm strong, so I have the final say!
The struggle for the right to speak seems to be engraved in human genes, however, the phenomenon of "the east wind overwhelms the west wind" exists in the current family, which is abnormal, because the family is not a place of strife, and there is no such thing as who must overwhelm the east wind and the west wind. As the netizen who sighed said, "This kind of family internal friction has an extremely secret and terrifying contagion, which will slowly turn the home into a spiritual execution ground, and family members are full of grievances, grievances, accusations, and complaints against each other, and lose their due love and vitality" - this is a disaster.
Not only will the ** within the family be infected, resulting in many negative effects. What is even more frightening is that the next generation, who grow up in this environment, is "prone to insecurity and extreme sensitivity in their hearts". Either be suppressed and become a person who is cautious and walking on thin ice, for fear that which step he takes when he walks will be a mistake, feeling that his every move may be wrong, and he may be blamed by others, lasting fear, and lasting uneasiness; Either get infected to be extremely aggressive, become the next person to pick a bone in the egg, and then bring endless internal friction to the family you have formed.
Therefore, we must do our best to cut ourselves from this internal friction, refuse to be infected, refuse to be such a person. A normal, harmonious family atmosphere should not be like this, it should be loose and peaceful.
Family is where all of us live, and where we can rest and rejuvenate after a day of struggle outside. It is up to all family members to work together to create a better atmosphere and aura, so that we can muster up the courage to continue to move forward in this muddy world, where there is no east wind and west wind, all that is needed is understanding, tolerance and mutual encouragement.