Since entering the workplace, I have always lacked self-confidence, and my words and deeds seem a little restrained.
Later, an aunt who was in the leadership of the system gave me some advice.
Her secret is - pretending.
Below I will share her specific advice:
If you don't feel comfortable in a crowded place, it may be difficult to change in a short period of time, but there's a simple way to try: most people will only judge a person by the outward details. Therefore, as long as you look confident, others will perceive you as confident. For example, when attending a company dinner, if you don't know how to sit, find a place that is not in the way and stand temporarily. When someone comes in, take the initiative to greet generously and use simple words such as "hello", "coming", "here, here", etc. When you see a colleague seated, sit down naturally and maintain an elegant posture without looking down to play with your phone or slumped in your chair.
When someone hands you a menu, don't say "whatever" or say "whatever", but graciously take it and ask the person around you if there are any taboos. Such polite behavior will make a good impression. If you're not sure what to order, you can ask the waiter directly what specialties you recommend.
At the dinner table, don't just look out for yourself. Keep an eye out for who's cup empty and naturally add water to them. If you have a delicious dish, you can recommend it to others, but don't do it yourself. This caring demeanor will make people feel comfortable and develop a good impression of you.
When communicating with people, avoid nervousness and reduce small movements, such as picking your fingers and brushing your hair. If you feel uncomfortable, find a support point to relax and look directly into the other person's eyes (or forehead, mouth) to show confidence. If you feel a little overwhelmed during a conversation, you can use actions such as drinking water to relieve tension. At the end, it is also polite to let the other person leave first.
Finally, remember: pretending to be confident will gradually turn into real confidence. Because you pretend for a long time and get used to it, you will slowly become really confident. Naturally, you will become more confident and charismatic.