It's not the child's fault that the child is addicted to playing with the phone.
Adults can't refuse mobile phones, let alone the most playful children.
As parents, we generally have the same view on our children's mobile phones, and we are all extremely opposed to children playing mobile phones as entertainment and rest.
Every parent has a whole lot to say about the disadvantages of playing with mobile phones:
Looking at too many screens is not good for children's eyesight;
There are too many kinds of information on the mobile phone and the child has no ability to distinguish;
Fear that children will become addicted to mobile games;
Worry that the child will be affected by some rubbing, spoofing, and violence**;
Wait a minute. Admittedly, these concerns are right and necessary.
There are good reasons for our objection.
But what does it look like in the eyes of a child?
It's not fair; Why can you adults hold your phone all the time?
Doesn't it affect your eyesight if you look at it for so long?
If you play games, you are not afraid of addiction, why can't we be addicted;
As parents, we control our children's mobile phone play, and the starting point must be good.
It's just that this kind of goodness to children can't be understood by children, even if some children are a little older and can understand that this is the love of their parents, but they may not be able to accept it and be willing to accept it.
I solved the problem of children playing with mobile phones, not by any strong means, nor by any scientific method.
I just changed my way of thinking, my method may not be suitable for every child, I wrote it, just hoping that my way of thinking can give you a reference, a new direction.
So that everyone can find a suitable method for their own children according to their personality, temperament, acceptance and interests.
Change your mindset. Is it not beneficial for children to play with mobile phones at all?
There are no absolutes in everything, adhering to this truth, I thought deeply about this problem on a dark and windy night.
Not to mention, it really made me find some benefits for children to play with their mobile phones.
The benefit of playing with mobile phone one:
Give your child a mobile phone and give your parents a period of peace.
The child does not eat well, and uses the mobile phone to give the child ** cartoons;
The child does not cooperate with the doctor, and promises the child to take medicine and inject well to play with the mobile phone;
If the child is noisy in public, give the child a mobile phone and instantly turn into a good baby;
If you are physically and mentally exhausted after a day of work, you don't want to play with your child, so you throw your child a mobile phone in exchange for a moment of rest and tranquility.
I've seen too many scenes like this, and I've done it before.
The child's dependence on mobile phonesIt seems that this is how we parents unintentionally "cultivated".
Allowing children to play with mobile phones has become a bargaining chip for us to discuss with children
Children use their mobile phones as a reward for "obedience".
The benefits of playing with mobile phones are two:
Playing with mobile phones improves children's thinking and logic skills.
During the Chinese New Year, the child's grandfather wanted to set up facial recognition for a new mobile phone, but the old man didn't know how to set it up and didn't know how to operate.
After the child heard it, he took the initiative to ask for it, and showed the grandfather the step-by-step operation of the mobile phone, and during the period, he would make the grandfather twist his face according to the prompts of the mobile phone.
After setting it up, the old man tried to unlock it, habitually pressing the power button, thinking that he could only use his face to unlock when the screen was on, and the child also reminded his grandfather that he didn't need to light up the screen to unlock, and then my dad said:
Today's children have really good brains.
It's a very simple thing, the child has also changed the unlock password of my mobile phone before, and added unlock fingerprints and facial recognition to himself.
It's all the children who grope for the operation themselves.
In our cognition, this is a relatively simple operation, but the elderly do not know how to operate.
It stands to reason that my father has been using a smartphone for many years, and he will also use his mobile phone to install APP, brush **, watch news, play**, and listen to the radio, so he should be very proficient in the operation of his mobile phone.
The time that children spend playing with their mobile phones is certainly not as good as that of the elderly, but children can clearly know how to operate.
Is this a benefit of playing with a phone?
I think so.
Their generation will definitely be inseparable from mobile phones and computers in the future, and the operation logic of mobile phones and computers is figured out, but the operation forms are different.
If a child can accurately know a certain function, he should start with **, and operate it step by step, indicating that he understands some operation logic.
Including the games he plays, see some of the ** he is interested in, he can play and understand, and his thinking ability, hand-eye coordination ability, and comprehension are not also exercises and improvements.
Is it okay not to let children play with mobile phones at all?
Because of the problem of playing with mobile phones, there are many quarrels at home.
Either the mother's patience is exhausted, or the child is crying and the conversation collapses, so I need to come forward, the big Buddha, with an extremely stern, fierce and vicious image, and temporarily confiscate the mobile phone.
There can be a brief peace in the home.
Some people will think that the mobile phone will be confiscated directly, and the child will not have the opportunity to touch the mobile phone.
If only it were that simple, my child is currently 9 years old, a boy, and he doesn't have his own mobile phone.
Each adult in the family has a mobile phone, and I also have a work mobile phone.
As long as none of us pay attention, the child can get the mobile phone.
In addition, some of the child's homework needs to be completed on the phone.
Therefore, it is not realistic to want children to keep their phones out of contact at all.
As the old saying goes: it is better to be sparse than blocked, and if it is blocked, it will overflow, and if it is sparse, it will be smooth.
Since it is impossible to avoid children's access to mobile phones, and it is impossible to control children's desire to play with mobile phones, it is also necessary to realize that mobile phones are not only bad for children.
So I tried to change my strategy and approach.
Blockage will only increase contradictions.
Although the 9-year-old child is an age that dogs dislike when they see it, they are fortunate to have enough comprehension.
I first allowed him to play at a fixed time every day, but it was not interesting to play blindly, so I set a goal for the child.
He was playing a little game of subway surfers, and I told the kids
You like to show your body, if you can show your body at the same time, you can take into account picking up gold coins, running high scores, and getting the first, isn't that more powerful, the child nodded vigorously.
I continued: This game is actually quite a reflex exercise, you have to do it.
But when you've had enough time, you're going to go out with me, to get outside in the sun, and let your eyes look into the distance.
The child nodded and couldn't wait to open the game.
I sat next to the child with me.
When the allotted time came, I took my children out for a walk.
On the way, I talked to the children:
How's it going?
The child said with a proud face
It's too simple, while showing off my body, I won the first place three times, with the highest running score of 300,000.
I thought to myself: this game, how long have you been playing it secretly, it is all played by elementary school students like you, and this is also something to be proud of.
But he still pretended to be admiring, and said pretendly:
It's so powerful, I thought it would be a little difficult for you, but you did it all.
What else is more difficult to operate in this game.,Show me the next time you operate.,Let me see the clever body.。
The child thought for a moment and said:
It doesn't seem to be difficult, it's just to control the direction of the show, pick up the gold coins, and then try not to hit the obstacles,,
The fewer hits you have, the more likely you are to be first.
I said with admiration
I just watched you show off your body, it's so handsome, but there are no more difficult challenges, and I want you to show me some more powerful operations.
The child said excitedly
Yes, it's a waste that I don't have a bigger challenge with such a sharp body.
At this point, my purpose has been achieved.
My goal is to set a goal for your child to play with a goal and then increase the difficulty little by little until he feels that it is difficult or does not feel challenging.
As for how to communicate with children in the future, I actually already know it.
For example, if the difficulty increases a little bit, the child can't finish it, and he is in a hurry, then he will only play more and more unhappy.
I can guide my kids to play with something other than their phones.
If the child is able to keep playing until the difficulty can no longer be increased.
I'll tell my kids that we can't challenge the more difficult ones, so you can just play and pass the time.
In less than 1 week, the child feels bored, there is no new challenge, the child does not feel the sense of accomplishment of completing the challenge, just blindly repeated, and the fun is greatly reduced.
Of course, this process is indispensable for me to "add oil and vinegar".
The game he played was nothing more than controlling the phone screen to control a villain to move left and right, jump up and down, and dodge obstacles.
Set him a goal and challenge, he will play with the goal, once the goal is reached, or more easily achieved, the child will want a higher challenge, without the challenge, the interest will be reduced.
Up to now, except for the need to use mobile phones for learning, children basically do not steal mobile phones to play games at other times.
However, I told him to play once a week as a "childhood memory".
The child gave me a roll of the eye and said:
Big brother, I am a childhood now, and I don't need to remember."
Children playing with mobile phones may simply want to play
Or maybe he sees an adult playing, and he wants to play too.
It is better to encourage him to play and guide him to play with goals or challenges.
Do our blocking and restrictions trigger the child's rebellious heart?
The more you don't let me, the more I want to play.
Instead, let your child have enough fun and release his desires.
I use the "goal-setting method", you can try it.
As for the effect, I'm not sure it will be useful, after all, children's personalities, interests, and temperaments are different, and parents get along with their children differently.
If the "blocking" fails, parents and friends may wish to try "sparse".
"Shu" is not only to allow children to play in action, but also to make changes psychologically.
You can recall that when we have conflicts and quarrels over our children's mobile phones, what are our attitudes, tones, and words, I think most of them will be full of negativity and criticism.
If you want to use the "sparse" method, you must change the ** degree, and try to affirm and understand the attitude and tone.
Let the child feel recognized and respected, and then according to the interests and temper of their own children, in words and actions, little by little guide the child to reduce his interest in mobile phones.
In fact, we all know that the mobile games played by children are nothing more than repetitive operations, and it is easy to get bored if you play too much.
The key to "sparseness" lies in the guidance of adults.
Transfer of interest. Children need to release their energy, and their free time needs to be filled by play.
Use things that are interesting to your child, so that your child has something to play with and something to do in their free time.
When a child's energy and time are drawn to other things, their dependence on mobile phones will naturally decrease.
In fact, children have a lot of interests and are full of curiosity about many things.
Recently, I took my children to play "House Breakdown".
Start "dismantling" from some small things at home, such as deformed gold and steel, pistols, and TV remote controls that you don't play, and let him remove them and put them back on his own.
At the same time, explain to him the working principle and design principle inside.
The child listened with interest.
Every day when I came home from school, I walked around the house after finishing my homework, looking for knick-knacks that could be dismantled.
Because I told him that when you think you're capable enough, let's dismantle the TV, and he's looking forward to it.
This can be regarded as combining the child's interests and setting a small goal for him.
With a goal in mind, the child's interest will naturally be aroused.
It's a bit too long-winded, but in fact, what I want to say in summary is very simple, children playing with mobile phones are due to the habit of being lazy and irresponsible as adults.
It's not good for children to play with mobile phones, and it's even more important to rely too much on mobile phones, but it's not useless.
We don't want our children to be completely free of mobile phones, we just want to change their dependence on mobile phones.
If you can't block it, you might as well try to use the method of dredging.
At the same time, as parents, we should change our attitudes and habits, spend more time with our children, help them discover new interests, cultivate children's interests and hobbies, and let children have something to do and something to play.
In addition to mobile phones, every child must have something interesting and positive, and we need to take the time to help them discover and nurture.
The original article was first published in *** Lightning Rod in Summer", welcome interested friends to search and pay attention!