On Chinese New Year's Eve, I had a Chinese New Year's Eve dinner with my wife, and I was enjoying the happy time of the Spring Festival Gala, when suddenly my wife's mobile phone rang. He took one look, handed me his phone, and said just one word: "Happy New Year!" The screen showed a text message from his son.
My heart sank, and I instinctively told my wife, "Ignore him." Then the two of us fell silent. I didn't have the heart to watch the Spring Festival Gala anymore, so I walked back to the bedroom silently, and everything in the past reappeared in my mind.
How I wish I could forget that painful experience, the nightmarish time of more than a year at my son's house. However, I painfully discovered that that experience was deeply etched in my memory and could never be erased.
After thinking about it, I decided to share that experience and let everyone judge. Whether it's right or wrong, let the facts speak!
I'm Aunt Lin, 59 years old, and my wife's son and I graduated from college 5 years ago.
When my son graduates, we want him to return to our city to develop, because we are all people in the system, maybe we can help him in his career.
But his son was reluctant to come back, so he chose to go to Nanjing with his classmates to develop. We thought that as long as he was happy, we would be satisfied.
A year later, my son called us and said that he already had a conversation partner, a local girl in Nanjing in their company, and she was also an only child. He also sent the girl's **.
When we looked, the girl was good-looking, and according to her son, she was also a college graduate and was the same age as her son. And her parents are also people in the system. Naturally, we are very satisfied with such conditions.
My son invited us to Nanjing to discuss the marriage, and we were very happy to see that the two children were very compatible in terms of appearance and family.
Next, we started to prepare for the purchase of a house for our son. Housing prices in Nanjing are high, and in order to ease their burden later on, we provide a large down payment.
Then there is the renovation of the house. I asked the girl about the local marriage customs so that I could arrange the cost of the renovation reasonably. The girl said that there were no special rules, so I spent all my money on renovations.
However, the girl later asked for a bride price, saying that she needed at least 100,000 yuan and three gold. I had to borrow 250,000 yuan from my sister, and then give the girl a bride price of 100,000 yuan, buy three golds, and the wedding cost more than 90,000 yuan.
From buying a house for our son to decorating and getting married, my wife and I spent almost 2 million. Although our savings have been spent, we are not worried because our salaries are high and our monthly income is enough to cover our expenses.
We only feel happy, because we have done a great job of our son, and we are willing to spend as much as we want.
After our son got married, we went back to our city. A year later, our son called us to say that his daughter-in-law was pregnant.
Since I haven't retired yet, I can't go to my son's house right away. I can only tell my son to take good care of his wife in **, and comfort him that in a few months, I will retire and will definitely take care of them then.
When my daughter-in-law was 8 months pregnant, I finally retired. At this time, my son called** to invite me to go, and I immediately said yes and was ready to buy a plane ticket to go.
However, just as I was about to go, my husband was suddenly hospitalized with a cerebral infarction. The situation was so urgent that he was admitted to the intensive care unit. I was so flustered that I couldn't get to my son.
In that chaotic moment, I told my son about his father's condition and told him that I couldn't go for the time being. My son asked if he needed to come back, and I told him to take care of his wife first, because my father was here to take care of me.
A month later, my husband was finally discharged from the hospital, fortunately, the rescue was timely, and his ** condition was also good. The doctor gave him two months of sick leave.
After we got home, I took care of my husband for three days, when my son called**, and instead of asking about his father's condition, he hurriedly told me: "Mom, come on, my daughter-in-law has already given birth!" ”
Hearing my son's words, I suddenly realized that my daughter-in-law had given birth, and as a mother-in-law, I had to go. But considering my husband's health, I couldn't bear to leave.
So, I called my son ** and proposed to temporarily ask a sister-in-law to take care of my daughter-in-law after giving birth, and we would bear the cost of the sister-in-law. I will be at home to take care of my husband for a month before going to my son's house.
The son said hesitantly: "My daughter-in-law doesn't want outsiders to come to our house, so you should come, if you don't come again, my family will be scattered." ”
My husband said at the time: "You go to your son's place to serve your daughter-in-law, I won't rest at home, I'll go to work tomorrow, what's the matter, at least there are people in the unit watching me!" ”
My husband's words made me feel heavy. But my son needed help, and I couldn't stay out of it.
After arriving in Nanjing, the daughter-in-law had been discharged from the hospital, and her mother was also there. I thought to myself, why is my son in a hurry to let me come? He knew that my husband had just been discharged from the hospital and needed to be taken care of.
Still, now that I'm here, I don't think much about it. As a mother-in-law, I should try my best to help.
After my daughter-in-law's mother left, I started taking care of my daughter-in-law through the postpartum days.
However, I soon discovered that it was very difficult for my daughter-in-law to get along with.
The first is cooking, and my daughter-in-law doesn't like my cooking, saying that her mother makes it better. Also, there are problems with taking care of grandchildren. Since my daughter-in-law had no milk, we had to feed milk powder. I hadn't taken a baby in years, so I wasn't very skilled at preparing formula and changing diapers.
Because of this, my daughter-in-law blamed me many times, saying that as an experienced mother, how could I not even do these basic things well.
Her criticism made me feel bad, but I studied hard and gradually became more proficient.
When the grandson was six months old, the daughter-in-law started working. In order not to disturb her rest, I am willing to take care of my grandson at night.
However, despite my best efforts, my daughter-in-law always seemed to be dissatisfied with me. She often blamed me, whether it was the taste of food, the handling of household chores, or the care of the children, she could find my shortcomings.
At first, her yelling scared me and easily led to more mistakes. But I endured because I knew that for the sake of family harmony, I had to endure.
I think she's still young and inexperienced, so sometimes she gets too aggressive. Maybe in a few years, she will become more mature, and I hope she at least won't blame me anymore.
Normally, the order in which we eat is that I cook the meal, let my son and daughter-in-law eat it first, and I take care of the grandchildren. Then after they finish eating, I eat again.
However, often I don't have much left on my plate, and sometimes I stir-fry a ** dish, and when I'm ready to eat it, I often find that there is no left, not even a piece of meat left. Although I don't like it, I understand that they work hard and need more nutrition.
As long as they treat me well, I don't mind if they eat as much as they want.
One night, I prepared dinner and let the kids eat first, as is customary. But the daughter-in-law said, "You eat first, I'm not hungry, I ate a lot at the unit at five o'clock in the afternoon." ”
I said politely, "You eat first, and then we'll wait for you when you're full." ”
My son and I were standing there, and my daughter-in-law suddenly became anxious, she pushed me and said loudly, "Eat, what are you doing standing there?" ”
Her attitude made me feel like I was being blamed, and I felt very uncomfortable, tears rolled in my eyes, but I endured it and said nothing.
Later, when my grandson was more than a year old, I noticed that the photo of me and my child in the aisle was missing, and it was usually placed there, which was ** when the child was one year old.
I couldn't see it, so I asked my son, "Where did I go with my child's photo?" Did you lose it? He said no, and then told his daughter-in-law and asked her where ** went.
When my daughter-in-law heard this, she had a very bad attitude, pointed to my nose and said, "You are too careful!" ”
Looking at her attitude, I felt scared and resignedly, "I'm just asking, I don't mean anything else." ”
But she still didn't give up, and continued to blame me: "Look at how thin you have become, your mentality is not good." ”
I couldn't stand it anymore, so I scolded her: "I'm so thin, who caused it?" ”
She got even angrier and said, "Are you hinting at me? ”
She threw a punch directly at me and hit me in the head. It hurts me that my son doesn't care about him.
At that time, I couldn't fight back, and I didn't dare to fight back. I knew I couldn't beat her, and I got up at five in the morning that day and was so busy until now, I was really tired, and I still had the strength to fight.
I don't fight back because my son doesn't support me, and I think if I fight back, my son will beat me because he is very afraid of his daughter-in-law, and it can be said that he loves her very much.
I really can't stand it anymore, I can bear being pointed at my nose and scolded, but I can't bear to be beaten. I chose to call the police.
Eventually, police arrived at the scene and reviewed the surveillance footage from the living room. The surveillance showed that my son and daughter-in-law were supervising me in taking care of my grandson.
The police confirmed the existence of domestic violence based on the surveillance. However, despite this, I finally chose to drop the lawsuit in order to protect my family. I said, "Forget it, I'll go back to my hometown." ”
From that day on, I left their home. Now three years have passed, and I have never been to my son's house again, and he has not come to see me, or even called ** or sent a message. Since returning to my hometown, I have completely erased my son's position from the bottom of my heart, and I no longer have any concern for my grandson.
So, when my son sent a message "Happy New Year" on Chinese New Year's Eve, I asked my husband not to reply.
Now that my husband and I are retired, I have gained 20 pounds under his careful care. And I studied yoga at the University of the Elderly and lived a fulfilling life. I've also gained more than a dozen pounds.
I've come to understand: what's the use of raising a son? In order to get some comfort on the occasion of dying, it is really not worth it to compromises for decades!
I have decided that in the future, I will seek medical attention in time for minor illnesses and let major illnesses take their course. My husband and I need to take good care of our bodies and live the life we want is the most important thing. Sons and grandchildren are not important, please disappear from our lives.