First, complain at every turn
I went to a relative's house as a guest, and when the man came back from work in the evening, the family hurried to the door to greet him, the man looked tired, he was a factory worker, and it was really hard.
At dinner, the children in the family said that they wanted to buy a pair of shoes, and the man suddenly got angry and began to complain - you can save me some money, it is not easy for Dad to ......make money
The child felt very faceless when he heard this, turned his head and got up and left, the man became more angry, turned on the "Gatling" mode, complained about all kinds of unsatisfactory, and his wife persuaded him - say less.
As a result, he became even more angry, blamed his wife again, and the two quarreled.
I often see some parents who don't have much ability, but they are often used to complaining in front of their children, and their verbal language is "It's not easy for parents to raise you".
Children who listen to such words every day from childhood to adulthood will naturally feel headaches.
In fact, the child has long understood that it is not easy for my parents, and I should be considerate of them, but they complain every day, can they blame me!
Stephen Chow plays a down-and-out worker in "Yangtze River No. 7", he is very poor, but he works hard, he never complains about life to his daughter, but does his best for his daughter, and his daughter is also deeply moved.
Some parents, when they encounter a little difficulty, complain to their children and graft the blame onto their children, as if their incompetence is not their fault, but the pressure exerted on them by their children.
really responded to the sentence, since you can't afford to raise children and can't give your children a better life, why bother to let your children come to this world to suffer.
Second, often compare with other people's children
is still a relative, and the woman of his family especially likes to say in front of the child - you see who has a child, it only costs 200 yuan a month; You see who is a child, how much she feels sorry for her parents, and when she comes back from school, she cooks for her parents ......
His child was very angry and asked her - Mom, why do you always compare me to other people's children?
However, the woman in his family will never understand the child's thoughts, and will never understand the child's anger, and she will immediately say, why are you so ignorant, you have learned to talk back to your parents!
Another time, his child finally couldn't bear it anymore and refuted her mother - people are richer than you, why don't you compare when people buy thousands of pairs of shoes for their children.
As soon as the child said this, her parents were enraged, as if it hurt their thin self-esteem, or vanity.
At the same time, parents scolded the child and said-Since you think his family is rich, go to his house and let his parents support you, we can't afford to support you!
What kind of shadow and burden will the children of such a family have, maybe the way for her to let go is to quickly become self-reliant.
Third, vanity is particularly strong
As mentioned above, vanity is almost universal, but some people are not capable of it, but they love vanity very much.
Why do parents with strong vanity always love to compare their children with other people's children, because they themselves are always used to competing with others, but they can't compare with others, so they sprinkle this tone on their children.
Mr. Yang Jiang once said, I don't fight with anyone, and I don't care if anyone fights with me.
As an experienced parent, even if life is not good, you should have learned to be calm.
Especially for children, we should instill a positive and optimistic attitude in children.
But some parents are very narrow-minded, always envy others, but do not work hard to change their lives, envy to the extreme, it becomes jealousy, and if jealousy is excessive, it becomes hatred.
It's a pity that in the end they are still incapable people.
Fourth, compete with children
It's still this family, every time I meet them, look at the communication between them and their children, I feel that they don't look like parents, but the children always have to put up with them, and they are like children.
Some people are like this, they are scheming about the world, their personalities are extreme and sharp, they are hypocritical in the face of outsiders, in order to get a little cheap, they bend their waists with low eyebrows, and they are arrogant in the face of their families, they are incompetent, but they claim to be the "saviors" of their families.
Su Mingyu in "It's All Good" was "forced" by such a family, her mother was extremely eccentric and patriarchal, her father was not responsible, selfish, but he also spent his whole life.
If a person often quarrels with his children, in order to cover up his incompetence, he relies on his life to be a little older, and relies on his identity as a "parent", constantly quibbling and playing tricks with his children.
Such parents don't have the ability to do it, and what's worse is that they are a burden to their children for a lifetime.