Bing Xin once said: "A good family is the root of all happiness." ”
A warm and beautiful home requires not only love in the heart, but also words in the mouth.
The reason why the atmosphere in many families is getting worse and worse is that family members only communicate with each other when there is something to do, and there is zero communication when there is nothing to do.
To know,Most of the small blessings in daily life are made up of "nonsense".
These seemingly nourishing conversations are a recipe for our tired lives.
In life, those who get along well with each other are very good at saying "nonsense" to each other.
In the nagging of parents, there is the deepest longing
Jia Pingwa once wrote the story of himself and his mother in an article.
Mother has been in the countryside all her life and has no education.
She likes to cook, and she is always afraid that Jia Pingwa will be hungry, so she has to tell him to eat more every time she eats.
While he was writing, his mother felt that he was tired, so she said to him again and again, "Can you finish writing all the words in the world?" Do you want to go out for a walk? ”
Every time his mother came to live in the city, she would sew winter clothes for Jia Pingwa, and always told him to wear more.
In Jia Pingwa's view, his mother always likes to say a lot of useless things.
Whether there are too many people in the house, the lights in the living room are not turned off, or things are thrown away as soon as they are old, his mother will nag him.
And in the autumn, when the fruit in the yard was ripe, his mother would always ask someone to bring some to the city.
It wasn't until much later that Jia Pingwa realized that his mother's words of concern were the most precious thing in the world.
*: Visual China.
There is a saying on the Internet that says, "Before the age of twenty, you will think that your parents are nagging; After the age of forty, you will feel that it is good to have parents nagging. ”
As adults, we have our own jobs and socialises, and we spend less and less time at home listening to our parents talk "."
Sometimes, we even get impatient with our parents' thoughts, and take these voices of love as a burden.
Parents may not be able to express their love in the way we expect. But patiently listening to the nagging of our parents is our filial piety to our children.
Learn to give them more responses, don't make your parents sad, and don't let yourself regret it.
After all, every word in our parents' mouths is full of our deepest thoughts and the greatest happiness in our lives.
Time is fleeting, leave more time for your parents, and don't let them put away the conversation box every time they open it.
In the gossip of the partner, there is the most sincere love
Netizen @王莉, once posted a paragraph on the Internet**.
*Records her and her husband's daily daily spending an hour before bedtime.
Unlike some couples who have nothing to say, Wang Li and his wife always get together every night before going to bed and talk "whispering" for a while.
They share their feelings, what they have seen and heard in the day, and they often think about their future lives.
Whenever they talked about something interesting, the two of them laughed like children.
Even though they have been married for three years, the relationship between the two is still as sweet as when they first fell in love.
The majority of netizens regard this ** as a "textbook" for couples to get along with, and they have ** to their partners.
Indeed, emotional value is an essential part of intimacy.
Any silent and perfunctory attitude is soft violence in the name of love.
Those dispensable daily gossip are full of the most sincere and soft love between husband and wife.
*: Visual China.
In the documentary "Meet the Big Coffee", the host asked the founder Robin Li: "Who is the person who has the greatest influence on your life and career?" ”
Without hesitation, he replied, "It's my wife." ”
Robin Li and his wife have been together for more than 20 years, and they still communicate frequently every day.
Sometimes it's the little things in life, sometimes it's some whimsy.
No matter how busy Robin Li is, he will listen carefully and respond.
He also said: "Every time I encounter ups and downs, I am willing to talk to my wife. ”
has been together for many years, and the two are not only loving and harmonious soul mates, but also bosom friends who talk about everything.
Writer Mai Jia said: "A sign to test whether a husband and wife are in love is whether they are willing to talk nonsense and listen to each other talking nonsense." ”
Daily gossip may seem meaningless, but it can make partners truly participate in each other's lives in conversation.
Husband and wife are not only partners who live together, but also comrades-in-arms who fight side by side to resist the ups and downs of life.
In each other's "nonsense", learn to share each other's joy, feel each other's sadness, and give each other feedback seriously.
In this way, the relationship between the two can gradually warm up and the relationship will be stronger.
In the interaction between parents and children, there is the most natural guidance
Psychologist Wu Zhihong once said: "What Chinese parents lack most is the ability to talk 'nonsense' with their children." ”
On weekdays, most parents are reluctant to chat with their children, they only focus on their children's health, food and clothing, and good grades.
But in fact, it is far more useful for parents to talk nonsense with their children on weekdays than to be cold and rigid.
*: Visual China.
In a reality show "Talent Discovery Group", there is a little boy named Bian Yitan.
Although Yitan is only three and a half years old, he has performed very well.
Not only did he know the names of various dinosaurs, but he could also explain many esoteric scientific phenomena.
At the same time, he has a rich vocabulary and can even read picture books independently.
The program team also conducted a professional test on Yitan, and the results showed that his language comprehension ability was far higher than the average of children of the same age, reaching 999 points.
And the excellence of Yitan is actually the result of the careful companionship of parents.
At home, my father would spend an hour or more every day communicating with him and reading with him.
In this kind of high-quality interaction, Yitan has become a small chatter, always chattering non-stop.
In these whimsical chats, Yitan has not only accumulated a large number of words, but also developed curiosity, imagination and expression.
In The Language of Parents, Dr. Suskind writes, "A child's mathematical ability, spatial reasoning ability, perseverance, self-discipline, moral sense, and empathy are all related to the vocabulary that the child hears at an early age." ”
Parents are their children's first teachers, and their initial abilities are learned from daily parent-child interactions.
These parent-child conversations, which sound worthless, are the "nutrients" that can make children grow better.
The process of interaction with children is not only a process for parents to understand their children, but also a good time to guide their children subtly.
If parents rarely communicate and interact with their children and only want to preach, the children will slowly close their hearts and avoid communication.
Smart parents will integrate knowledge and truth into daily small talk, and quietly open their children's hearts.
*: Visual China.
The French philosopher Montaigne once said, "It is a great achievement in life for a person to be able to live in harmony with his family." ”
Home is not only a place for us to live in, but also a charging station that provides emotional value to people.
More nonsense between family members can make feelings flow and make each member feel that they are being loved seriously and comfortably.
The parents who nagged the parents were short, the life anecdotes shared by the partners, and the questions and curiosity in the children's mouths were all rare feelings of security in a home.
Having something to say and someone who loves to listen to it is the greatest happiness in this world.
For the rest of our lives, may we all have family members who can talk "nonsense" and work together to create a warm and comfortable family atmosphere.
Author: 100 million people, don't be numb, don't be mediocre.