When I was watching TV at home with my wife last night, my wife suddenly mentioned a topic on Douyin:"The children in the family are reluctant to call their relatives and elders during the Chinese New Year, what do you think of this behavior?"It may be that we are about to have a baby of our own, so my wife has been paying attention to the topic of children a lot lately. I was reading an article and reflexively replied:
"It doesn't matter if it's not called, if it's an I-person, wouldn't it force him! ”However, I obviously didn't expect my wife to take this issue seriously, probably due to her own upbringingWrong wrong! It is the problem of the growth environment of all Chinese childrenShe said
That's it! The child's freedom should not be restricted, he can do whatever he wants, right?"
I realized what the problem was, and my wife was obviously thinking about how she would educate our own child in the future, rather than our usual small talk.
I said: "Actually, I am very much in favor of giving children freedom, you see that when I go back to the New Year, my eldest nephew does not call relatives and elders, I say it doesn't matter,."But his father has a relationship with his mother, they will think that the child is not called a person because he has not taught it well, and the seventh aunt and the eighth aunt will also talk about children, will tell them to call people. So even though my own attitude is like this, children can also be taught like that by others. ”
This is called them to force the freedom of children, I read the article before that the personality cannot be changed, then introverted children just don't like to shout why force it! Just give him freedom. My wife said indignantly. 
I noticed the repetition of my wife's words about giving the child freedom. "First of all, we don't talk about whether personality can change or not. Let's talk about shouting, the two of us obviously won't force the child, right? But there are grandparents, there are grandparents, they will teach their children to call people. And even if the child is introverted, it is beneficial to ask him to call people more often to help him develop an outward cheerful personality. As for giving children freedom, we need to bring some proper guidance before freedom, and it is impossible to let it go. Take sharing as an example, if you don't teach, he won't share. "Why not, there are children who will share it. My wife interrupted me.
Xunzi and some Western philosophers have long put forward the statement that 'human beings are inherently evil'We humans are actually higher animals, and we will still retain the nature of animals. For example, if a child grabs something from him, he will hit you, bite you, and use these violent means to defend his food. Children, like newborn animals, do not have the concept of sharing. ”
So why share, I just don't share it. The wife was a little angry.
Sharing is a virtue, do you want to play with generous people or with selfish people when you make friends when you are in school? Obviously. In this society and environment, we need to turn ourselves into people who adapt to the environment. If you are willing to share since childhood, you will have a good division of labor and cooperation when you grow up, and find needs, which is conducive to the development of your career and life. "So going back to the beginning, in terms of the freedom of the little ones, what we're going to doThere is limited freedom, and it is guided, not laissez-faire.
The million-fan blogger "Cao Cao" talked about this topic in an issue before.
He said that life is like walking on the prairie, where the grass is so high that only we, as adults, can see around. Our children were completely submerged in the tall grass. 
There are many pits and holes on the grassland, and there are big pits and small pits.
When the child walked into the pit and fell, we laughed and encouraged him to get up and continue walking, learning the lessons of life.
Before we go to the pit, we should warn him that if he does not listen, the small wounds and small pains will increase the lesson.
But if there's a cliff ahead, then we're going to have to pull it back to prevent him from hurting himself.