"One Hundred Years of Solitude" wrote: "The history of the family is a machine that goes on and on, a wheel that spins forever, if not for the gradual and inevitable wear and tear of the shaft." ”
If they can, parents will definitely leave a lot of money for their children, and try their best to send their children to work in big cities so that they can have a good future.
When husband and wife get along, everyone hopes to "grow old together, life and death". Shouldering the responsibility of making money to support his family, no matter how hard it is, he is willing.
On the other hand, the condemnation of domestic violence resonated with many people.
We always think that only when there is a certain level of fighting between adults can it be considered violence. In fact, "soft violence" hurts people even more.
How many people, in the name of "all for your good", hurt their children again and again, and restrain the pillow people again and again.
There is a good saying: "Some scars, scratched on the heart, even if the scratch is light, will remain in the heart." ”Compared with domestic violence, the following three "new types of domestic violence" are easy to ignore and need to be corrected in time.
Verbal violence against the child, the child cannot resist.
Many parents believe in this truth: "Filial piety comes from under the stick." ”
It is a good thing to discipline your child strictly. If everything goes along with the child, it is inevitable that the child will be raised.
However, many parents discipline their children excessively, or the methods of discipline are extreme, so that their children are injured again and again, and even hide in the corner and cry.
Children regard their parents as their best support, but their parents become people they dare not trust step by step.
In "It's All Good", when Su's mother was young, she was quite beautiful, and after marrying Su Daqiang, she also met a man in a big city. In order to go to the big city, Su's mother was about to divorce, but at this time she found out that she was pregnant with Su Mingyu.
Because of a girl, she lost the opportunity to go to a big city for development, coupled with the idea of preferring sons over daughters, she soon formed a discipline pattern in which Su's mother "treated" Su Mingyu badly.
No matter how good Su Mingyu's grades are, he can only obey Su's mother's arrangement and go to study normal.
Su Mingyu, who was not yet an adult, finally shouted out when she was dissatisfied with Su's mother's arrangement: "What are you giving birth to me for?" ”
Of course, most families no longer have a patriarchal mentality, and many families have only one child. It's just a verbal hurt, but it comes out unconsciously.
When the child took the report card and returned home, his parents reprimanded: "If you take this score, when you grow up, you will have no interest, and no one wants to sweep the streets." ”
The child is going to play basketball, and the parents keep a straight face and say, "What's the use? Why don't you go to a tutorial class in a hurry? ”
In the usual communication, the parents always "hate iron and steel", and even burst into tears, saying: "Why are you so stupid, don't you look at the family next door." You've disappointed me so much. ”
When a child is wronged at school, parents think that the child is wrong.
Zou Hong, a professor of psychology at Beijing Normal University, said: "Verbal abuse by peers or teachers can also cast a shadow on children's psyche, causing them to stop believing in the outside world, feeling that the society is indifferent and vicious, and have a strong sense of rejection ...... society."”It is the responsibility of parents to speak well. Love is not condescending, but reciprocal communication, turning the family into a harbor in the child's life.
The demands on elderly parents, parents are exhausted.
In my hometown, many young people go out to work, leaving their children to their elderly parents.
It would have been a good thing for grandparents to take grandchildren. But many elderly people really can't take care of their grandchildren.
Uncle Zhang, a neighbor, was busy working in the fields, and his grandson was home alone, so he ran to the pond to play as soon as he smoked. Fortunately, someone passed by the pond and did not make a big mistake.
The next day, the daughter-in-law rushed back from the city in a hurry and roared: "Is it so difficult to bring a child?" People with three or four children are not like you.
Uncle Zhang lowered his head, like a child who made a mistake: "Don't say it, it won't be next time." ”
Uncle Zhang has no pension and doesn't go to farming, so what does he rely on to provide for his old age? With a meager income, he still has to take care of his grandson's food and drink. The bitterness of life can be imagined.
Around us, there are always some old people, who arch their backs and walk three times at a time, but have to run behind their grandchildren. The old man is forcibly given responsibility, and no matter how hard and tired he is, he can't let go.
In addition to bringing grandchildren. There are also middle-aged people, when it comes to money, endlessly demanding.
To buy a house and a car, you need the support of your parents; To start a business, you need your parents to give you a start-up capital. Parents do not have three heads and six arms, so they can only take out the money to buy coffins, and even go to relatives and friends to borrow money to meet the needs of their children.
Excessive demanding, like an invisible fist, makes elderly parents not even have the courage to raise their heads.
The complaints between husband and wife are chilling.
In the "Warning Words", a woman named Du Shi Niang is written, although she is in the Qinglou, she has always longed for the life of an ordinary family. She tried her best to get in touch with Li Gongzi and decided to develop in her hometown together.
Halfway through, Li Gongzi met a rich son, and he had the evil idea of "selling his wife for wealth".
Li Gongzi said: "The rich boy wants to buy you, I take the money, and I can go to see my parents, although there is too much reluctance, but it can only be so." ”
In the end, Du Siniang was forced to throw herself into the river.
The mouth is a hurtful axe, and the word is a tongue-cutting knife", all kinds of incomprehension between husband and wife, complaining and blaming at every turn, compared with outsiders, disgusted with too little income. It will always make people look up, and even go to extremes.
Zhang Xiaoxian said: "Men and women, if there are requirements, there are complaints, and there are complaints, there is pain; Where there is pain, there is resentment. ”Everyone has their own three views, even husbands and wives cannot be exactly the same. Couples who can have a good heart are more tolerant and considerate.
Everyone's ability to make money is different, there are always some men who make money by selling coolies, and if they are compared with the rich, women will definitely be uncomfortable. Looking at it from another angle, because there is no ability to make money, it is more necessary for someone to feel distressed and someone to help.
When the hands are cold, the husband and wife hold hands, and they can warm it back; The heart is cold, but it can't be warmed back.
In this life, the greatest wish of a person is to hope that the people around him can pass one hurdle after another in this life, and then everything will be fine.
But many times, it backfires. We are always asking others how to be, but we often forget how we should be.
It's not easy to start a family, don't let invisible violence ruin the family.
When encountering the "new type of domestic violence", remember three sentences: respect each other, and life will be better; If you don't force anything, your mood will be smooth; A few more encouragements, and there is hope in life.
You must understand that behind every excellent person, there is a group of excellent family members.